littlefish

Last summer when I joined SR, I quite drinking on my own and had a fantastic summer; sunny weather, euphoric feelings. Then life threw me a screwball and I started drinking again last fall.

I also did not have a plan, I did not have a program, I quit impulsively, thought it was an overnight miracle, etc, etc. Easy to see why I went back.

Anyway, this year it's different. I have a plan, I am in a couple of AA groups, I bought the big book and will start a third women's-only group specifically for the 12 steps. (In about 2 weeks.)

And of course the biggest difference: I know I cannot ever drink again. That was the biggest hurdle to encounter and hardest fact of life to accept. Not being able to accept that fact doomed me to years of failed attempts to drink "reasonably" when I could not.

So, here is the funny part: it's been raining all month. I haven't been to a single AA meeting where I didn't have to splash around in the rain to get there. It is SO different from last summer. No sunshine. No euphoria.

I think the message is that it is going to be a long haul and it's going to be a job. Sobriety is not something that just happens. There might be cloudy skies and rain in the beginning of recovery. There hasn't been much sunshine, literally or figuratively since I quit. I have not had euphoric feelings yet.

But, I'm okay with it. The reward of discovering small pleasures again. Regaining sensitivity to myself and others, knowing real calmness is worth every drop of rain!

Aaaaaaaand: yes, of course. The forecast for this evening and my Monday night meeting is: rain.

CarolD

Thanks for sharing your progress....
Welcome back to SR!

Aysha

tommyk

Anything worth having is worth working for.

I feel that way about the new life sobriety has given me.

Keep working at your sobriety, keep coming back.

laurie6781

Welcome back.

Splashing around in the puddles sounds like fun..............................let your inner child out to enjoy the puddles, lol

Sounds like you are serious about your recovery. Please don't be a stranger here, we do care very much!

Love and hugs,

Jersey Nonny

Quote:

Anyway, this year it's different. I have a plan, I am in a couple of AA groups, I bought the big book and will start a third women's-only group specifically for the 12 steps. (In about 2 weeks.)

Sounds like you've finally gotten "the message"...best of all, you're passing it on!

Lily

Hey, but look on the bright side.....the rainy month of August will always remind you of when you got sober!

I got clean and sober on Jan. 20th here in WI and there was 3 feet of snow on the ground and it was hovering around zero F here most days.

blessings, Sheila