Language of Letting Go - July 7 - Getting It All Out
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Language of Letting Go - July 7 - Getting It All Out
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
-- Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Getting It All Out
Let yourself have a good gripe session.
From: " Woman, Sex, and Addiction"
-- Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D.
Get it out. Go ahead. Get it all out. Once we begin recovery, we may feel like it's not okay to gripe and complain. We may tell ourselves that if we were really working a good program, we wouldn't need to complain.
What does that mean? We won't have feelings? We won't feel overwhelmed? We won't need to blow off steam or work through some not so pleasant, not so perfect, and not so pretty parts of life?
We can let ourselves get our feelings out, take risks, and be vulnerable with others. We don't have to be all put together, all the time. That sounds more like codependency than recovery.
Getting it all out doesn't mean we need to be victims. It doesn't mean we need to revel in our misery, finding status in our martyrdom. It doesn't mean we won't go on to set boundaries. It doesn't mean we won't take care of ourselves.
Sometimes, getting it all out is an essential part of taking care of ourselves. We reach a point of surrender so we can move forward.
Self-disclosure does not mean only quietly reporting our feelings. It means we occasionally take the risk to share our human side-the side with fears, sadness, hurt, rage, unreasonable anger, weariness, or lack of faith.
We can let our humanity show. In the process, we give others permission to be human too. "Together" people have their not so together moments. Sometimes, falling apart - getting it all out - is how we get put back together.
Today, I will let it all out if I need a release.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
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The other day I was talking to a friend about xAH. I told her what I see as likely rather dire circumstances that are coming his way shortly (past choice catching up with him mostly) and told her I was feeling guilty that part of me was gloating about the fact that he may end up in jail. Her response was perfect. She asked me when I had decided to become the new Mother Teresa.
After a good laugh, I acknowledged I ain't perfect by a long shot and am going to fall into traits I don't admire in myself now and then. I am human after all. And a session of complaints about what I see as his continued bad choices and irrational behaviors did feel good. Then I moved on again since it really isn't my concern any longer and I can't change him in the slightest.
After a good laugh, I acknowledged I ain't perfect by a long shot and am going to fall into traits I don't admire in myself now and then. I am human after all. And a session of complaints about what I see as his continued bad choices and irrational behaviors did feel good. Then I moved on again since it really isn't my concern any longer and I can't change him in the slightest.
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Thanks barbara, sometimes I can catch myself trying to control my recovery in a way that is just not possible because I have slipped into trying to be perfect.
It's such a relief to not have that monkey on my back....but I have to keep watch because every now and then it tries to hop back on!
Today I have the freedom to be honest about those times when my mind reverts backwards. By sharing it here and in my Al-Anon meetings I find such strength by acknowledging my weakness.
It's such a relief to not have that monkey on my back....but I have to keep watch because every now and then it tries to hop back on!
Today I have the freedom to be honest about those times when my mind reverts backwards. By sharing it here and in my Al-Anon meetings I find such strength by acknowledging my weakness.
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