ghostgirl

i haven't been on here in a long time. i had almost reached nine months in recovery, but started drinking again around thanksgiving 2007. i want to stop. i had days where i didn't drink, and days where i drank to excess, and days where i only drank a little. i don't even know why i drink; it only makes me tired, and brings out these negative feelings, and i'm just drunk. so, yesterday after starting my day with beer beer and more beer, and ending it with a bottle of wine, i decided i need to stop killing myself. i hope i can do this this time. i've tried a.a. maybe its just the meetings i've been to, but i found myself really frustrated. and i'm not religious, so it was hard to do the "higher power" thing, esp. when so many of the members talked so much about jesus. i'm not an atheist, but i struggle.

anyway, i guess thats all i wanted to say for now.

gg

Anna

Hi Ghostgirl,

I hope you find a recovery method that works for you and I'm really glad to see you back here!

least

I know why i drink: I drink to avoid life, to avoid my feelings, to avoid my situation.

I too am starting over today.

I wish the best for both of us.:ghug3

Ananda

hey - glad to see your back...it's not an easy journey but worth the trip!!!!

There was a period of time at one meeting I attended that the Jesus stuff was previlant...but gosh it's been years since I've heard specific referances to Jesus in a meeting.

So maybe try again, hit some different meetings and hopefully you can find a meeting you are comfortable in. In time one of the joys of my sobriety has been being able to let others follow their spiritual path without feeling uncomfortable since thiers is rarely mine

keep posting!

ghostgirl

thank you. it really means a lot. yes, least, thats exactly why i drink. and i thought i could do that, drink, and do it better "this time". you know, its not that i'm a crazy drunk, or whatever, but oh my god i do get lonely... and then i just drink. i'd been thinking about it, and i know that even though i felt lonely, scared, sad, sometimes when i was sober, i knew that i would feel better if i just worked through my feelings. i started to feel good about myself, and my health. thats the big thing there: my health. i'm relatively healthy, but won't be if i keep it up.

thank you so much e'one... i'll need all of the encouragement i can get.

gg

CarolD

Welcome back....

Rowan

Hi ghostgirl,

I remember you! I remember when I was going through some stuff, and your posts helped enormously. I'm so glad that you made it back to us. I'm coming up on 2 years clean and sober through AA - PM me anytime.

Ro

tommyk

gg, I hope you win your battle with the bottle, please keep trying.

Just my opinion - I really like it, and am encouraged, when someone says, "... even though AA didn't work for me before, and the Higher Power concept was hard for me to grasp, maybe I need to give both another shot because I'm willing to do ANYTHING to quit drinking and these tools might be just what I need this time to truly stop..."

Dee74

I remember you too GG...welcome back - if I can do it LOL


D