When does it stop being so hard
I believe I can do this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 85
When does it stop being so hard
I am so tired today. It is day one again for me and it has been very difficult. Reading other peoples posts has helped tremendously. It's 7:30 now and I'm almost to the end of the fight for the day. It's July 4th, so it's been especially hard. There were cookouts everywhere today and I strongly associate cookouts with drink. Somehow I made it through. I don't know how I did, but I succeeded. Well, up till now. Friday and Saturday nights are my toughest days. Really, any night before a day off is my toughest. I know it's one day at a time but today really took alot out of me. It was like an unrelenting craving that just occupied all of my energy. There were moments of clarity. Like, as I'm typing this I feel calm and in control. Drinking on weekends keeps me in a persistent state of withdrawal so I have to win tonight and tomorrow. I am confident during the week, but nights off just kick my tail. Last night did. Today, I am stronger. When does this stop being so hard? Does it ever?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,517
Hi and Welcome,
It really does get easier.
Why don't you plan something else for the weekend evenings that doesn't involve drinking? How about a movie, a long walk, something that takes your mind off drinking, even just for a few minutes.
It really does get easier.
Why don't you plan something else for the weekend evenings that doesn't involve drinking? How about a movie, a long walk, something that takes your mind off drinking, even just for a few minutes.
The Long Climb
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 120
It does get easier...Every day you make it, the stronger you will be....Believe in your strength and things will get better....
Delaying it like anna suggests really works for me....Walk to the store and get an ice cream, putter in the garden, try something new you've always wanted to do....
I took up an unconventional activity in my early recovery and I love it! I use it now whenever I am craving...
It will get easier, just hang in there....
Delaying it like anna suggests really works for me....Walk to the store and get an ice cream, putter in the garden, try something new you've always wanted to do....
I took up an unconventional activity in my early recovery and I love it! I use it now whenever I am craving...
It will get easier, just hang in there....
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Good question - when does this stop being so hard?
For me it stopped being hard when I surrendered. And when someone told me I'd have to do that I thought they were full of ********. Me? Surrender? I never surrendered to anything.
But you see, I have a 'disease'. And there are certain things I've got to do in order to survive my disease. On a daily basis.
I surrender every day, just for that day. When I surrender and make the decision not to use TODAY it stops being hard.
I don't know about tomorrow, next week, or next year. But I surrendered to my 'disease' today. It makes life for me a lot easier.
(12 steps, NA principles, and meetings, all help too.)
For me it stopped being hard when I surrendered. And when someone told me I'd have to do that I thought they were full of ********. Me? Surrender? I never surrendered to anything.
But you see, I have a 'disease'. And there are certain things I've got to do in order to survive my disease. On a daily basis.
I surrender every day, just for that day. When I surrender and make the decision not to use TODAY it stops being hard.
I don't know about tomorrow, next week, or next year. But I surrendered to my 'disease' today. It makes life for me a lot easier.
(12 steps, NA principles, and meetings, all help too.)
I believe I can do this
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 85
Well, day 2 was much better than day one. Yesterday I just sat here and fought with myself all evening. Today I did 2 weeks worth of laundry (laundromat), went for a walk, got ice cream, ate out for dinner (McD's - no booze), read several chapters in a book and watched two documentaries. Then, I took an hour nap. None of this would have been possible last weekend. I was too sick from boozing. Now it's almost 7 pm and I'm in the home stretch of the evening. At 9 pm, they stop selling booze and I win my second day in a row. The tremors have mostly stopped but I still have a killer headache. The cravings that were so overwhelming yesterday were just a dull pain today. I am sure they will come back as strong as ever, but I handled things well today. I'm 2 days sober!
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Day two . . . good for you!
I know, bad little rhyme there folks but hey, I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm happy, joyous and free! And that's what matters, right Free?
Early in my Recovery I had to basically learn how to live again, I had taken away what I thought was my reason for living . . . drinking and getting high. It was my hobby, my past time and my way of life. I had to find things to do in the times I spent trying to find pills and getting drunk.
Sounds like yesterday that little devil called boredom tried to get the best of you. Today, you kept busy, taking care of the laundry at the laundromat which I know two weeks worth can be a major undertaking in itself! But you had a healthy balance in your day, you got some exercise by walking which is also a great way to clear your mind and rediscover the simple joys in life that we forgot about when we were in a state of oblivion. Never knew flowers could be so beautiful, did you? Then you treated yourself to Micky D's and then had some entertainment by watching the documentaries. Sounds like a well rounded, healthy day to me! Way to Go!
It sounds like you work Mon - Fri, make some plans for next weekend to keep yourself busy. Plan a laundry run, (I think clothes should be disposable. lol) another walk, treat yourself to a movie maybe? I don't know if you have put any thought into meetings but they are a great way to no only get support in your Recovery but to make sober friends as well. It's important to have that outside support system as well as making new friends so we don't resort to the old, using ones out of boredom.
You're doing great! And by my calculations, you have less than 15 minutes tonight!
Hang in there . . . it does get better and easier.
God Bless,
Judy
I know, bad little rhyme there folks but hey, I'm clean, I'm sober, I'm happy, joyous and free! And that's what matters, right Free?
Early in my Recovery I had to basically learn how to live again, I had taken away what I thought was my reason for living . . . drinking and getting high. It was my hobby, my past time and my way of life. I had to find things to do in the times I spent trying to find pills and getting drunk.
Sounds like yesterday that little devil called boredom tried to get the best of you. Today, you kept busy, taking care of the laundry at the laundromat which I know two weeks worth can be a major undertaking in itself! But you had a healthy balance in your day, you got some exercise by walking which is also a great way to clear your mind and rediscover the simple joys in life that we forgot about when we were in a state of oblivion. Never knew flowers could be so beautiful, did you? Then you treated yourself to Micky D's and then had some entertainment by watching the documentaries. Sounds like a well rounded, healthy day to me! Way to Go!
It sounds like you work Mon - Fri, make some plans for next weekend to keep yourself busy. Plan a laundry run, (I think clothes should be disposable. lol) another walk, treat yourself to a movie maybe? I don't know if you have put any thought into meetings but they are a great way to no only get support in your Recovery but to make sober friends as well. It's important to have that outside support system as well as making new friends so we don't resort to the old, using ones out of boredom.
You're doing great! And by my calculations, you have less than 15 minutes tonight!
Hang in there . . . it does get better and easier.
God Bless,
Judy
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Not knowing where in Milwaukke you live here are the Central Offices for Wisconsin.
You'll see Milwaukee, West Allis, etc
Wisconsin Alcoholics Anonymous Central Offices and Intergroups
Give the closest one a call and find out where there are some meetings near you.
I know for me, when I first went to AA it was not about the AA 12 Program, it was about finding some SAFE HAVENS where I could find some SOBER folks to get to know.
You might want to give it a try. You might be amazed.
Welcome to SR, you have found a great place with some really neat folks with some real good Experience, Strength adn Hope (ES&H).
Hope this helps,
Love and hugs,
You'll see Milwaukee, West Allis, etc
Wisconsin Alcoholics Anonymous Central Offices and Intergroups
Give the closest one a call and find out where there are some meetings near you.
I know for me, when I first went to AA it was not about the AA 12 Program, it was about finding some SAFE HAVENS where I could find some SOBER folks to get to know.
You might want to give it a try. You might be amazed.
Welcome to SR, you have found a great place with some really neat folks with some real good Experience, Strength adn Hope (ES&H).
Hope this helps,
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 449
Originally Posted by cranesjoy 
When does it stop being so hard?
When you stop making it so hard!!!!!
Sarah
When you stop making it so hard!!!!!
Sarah
Hearing stuff like this never helps a person in pain...
I should know, as one of them who has heard this from my sponsor and a couple other people.
It doesn't help, we don't understand what you mean yet.
Please, have some compassion for some of us newbies who are STILL struggling no matter what we do.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 42
Have you tried meetings? For me, I couldn't do it alone. Let me correct that- maybe I could do it alone, but I was going to be a lot more miserable. I had to change my routines. Instead of bars on the weekends, I went to night meetings in NA. I have learned that I am my own worst enemy. When I'm alone for too long, I get "up in my head," and obsess, complicate things, and just get plain crazy. It's at these times when I drag my a@$ to a meeting.
Another benefit to meetings is the people. I armed myself with phone numbers, and called others to get me through rough spots. No newcomer wants to call a stranger and talk about how he feels, but please understand that we love these calls! It makes what we've been through meaningful. We were once there, too!
I also found that I had to try a few different fellowships, and then a few different meetings before I found my niche. Once I did, I had people who loved me until I could love myself, and found that recovery didn't have to be miserable- these people were pretty freakin' fun and happy!
I will tell you that even in a program, the first 30 days seemed to last forever. However, it WILL get easier! If you stay clean/sober, things will get better. I PROMISE!
Hang in there!
K
Another benefit to meetings is the people. I armed myself with phone numbers, and called others to get me through rough spots. No newcomer wants to call a stranger and talk about how he feels, but please understand that we love these calls! It makes what we've been through meaningful. We were once there, too!
I also found that I had to try a few different fellowships, and then a few different meetings before I found my niche. Once I did, I had people who loved me until I could love myself, and found that recovery didn't have to be miserable- these people were pretty freakin' fun and happy!
I will tell you that even in a program, the first 30 days seemed to last forever. However, it WILL get easier! If you stay clean/sober, things will get better. I PROMISE!
Hang in there!
K
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Grants Pass, Oregon
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by FreeinMilwaukee
Well, day 2 was much better than day one. Yesterday I just sat here and fought with myself all evening. Today I did 2 weeks worth of laundry (laundromat), went for a walk, got ice cream, ate out for dinner (McD's - no booze), read several chapters in a book and watched two documentaries. Then, I took an hour nap. None of this would have been possible last weekend. I was too sick from boozing. Now it's almost 7 pm and I'm in the home stretch of the evening. At 9 pm, they stop selling booze and I win my second day in a row. The tremors have mostly stopped but I still have a killer headache. The cravings that were so overwhelming yesterday were just a dull pain today. I am sure they will come back as strong as ever, but I handled things well today. I'm 2 days sober!
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
The poster just before me, pretty much said it all.
Except, I went to AA meetings...lots, and lots of AA meetings. Before that, I went to a 10 day detox/mini-rehab...which, I'm sure, made it a bit easier for me. That was almost 27 years ago, and I'm ever so grateful I made that commitment to be a part of the AA family. I still apply the 12 step program of recovery to every aspect of my life.
I know there are many who stay clean and sober without the benefit of meetings; but, I personally don't know any other/better way. Why don't you try some, and see if it helps you? It can't hurt, and it just might be the answer you're looking for. Please keep us posted on your progress.
Instead of bars on the weekends, I went to night meetings...
I know there are many who stay clean and sober without the benefit of meetings; but, I personally don't know any other/better way. Why don't you try some, and see if it helps you? It can't hurt, and it just might be the answer you're looking for. Please keep us posted on your progress.
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