Abundance

Woot Woot!!!!!!!

Please send me *~*~ VIBES ~*~* today with cleaning the house and doing a butt arse amount of laundry !!!!! I leave early tomorrow for the family day at the rehab and the discharge instructions. And then we come home on Sunday! It's a couple of hours away.

I honestly feel like bambi... like I'm just full of observation. It is such a trip how all of this has unfolded since December! I almost feel guilty for being so happy and full of joy entering into this journey of recovery!

It is not just him in recovery, but me as well! There could be a love song about 2 in recovery...... the opposite ends..... codie/addict..... being supportive of one another! It's a beautiful! Cue the music and lets dance!

I'm really so happy!!! I'm SO proud of him you guys!

So anyway..... please send me vibes through and through..... but right now... with cleaning the house up! lol

Thanks so much for all the support here......... I am going to be coming here a lot still........ I find this place so helpful!!!! Through the good and the bad..... I have found support!!!!!

Oh..... check out this funny youtube...... it makes me laugh!

YouTube - Killer Lizard Attacks News Reporter

Peace and Love~!

MrsMagoo

Yes, there could be a love song about starting a new life and getting clean and coming home. I remember we were both soooo happy to be together again!

Have a great time this weekend and a safe trip there and back!

kay1234

That is so great...it is wonderful to get good news...I am so happy for the both of you...Have a great time and be safe:ghug3

Abundance

Thank you MM~!!!!

It feels so wonderful being supportive and helping someone who his helping himself! At this moment, on this day...... I truly am grateful and feel blessed!

All of this forces me to look at myself and how far I have and have not come. Relationships forces us to look at ourselves..... how are reactions are to the other.... mirror image of ourselves in the other person. I believe we grow so much when we have met our match.

I have met my Maker..... and feel empowered..... and at the same time "stuck"..... like the observer of watching all of this unfold. I have anticipation of our new life...... but only expectations of myself in how to handle what is to come! After all, the only thing I have control over is me!

Speaking of control over me...... time to get back to it with the home! LOL

MM........ your hubby has moved to another DOC? Will he go to a meeting? I take it you have gone down the recovery road with him before? So he is back in denial? I am sending you ~*~*~ VIBES ~*~*~ !!!!

Abundance

Thanks Kay!!!!! I am SO excited! I am excited for him..... and find it the most sexy thing to see him take control over himself!

One day on here I am going to write the re-birth story..... the dynamics of how all of this unfolded is amazing!

I'm nervous though of it all blowing up in my face and it not sticking, but I won't put that energy out there.... ya know? I really believe our thoughts do become our actions and our reality............. so today..... and now..... I'm going to relish in the awesomeness of it all !!!!!!

::::Thinking of cleaning home:::: hahahaha!

Jody Hepler

Thinking of you - I remember so well the excitement of the RASs coming back from rehab - and the early days of meetings and recovery. Cherish the time and enjoy the journey.

I feel so blessed that some folks in my family have found recovery - because that's just not the case with most folks. I never take it forgranted.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

MrsMagoo

Uh, to answer your question....I don't know if he has another DOC. I hope not. I hope we stopped this relapse before it got out of hand, if that makes any sense.

AH's DOC is opiates but since he's on methadone, (not just for the addiction but also for pain relief) he had to do something else when he started feeling sorry for himself and started feeling entitled to use again. I caught on quick (thanks to my angels on SR) and kicked him out. He binged for 3 days and then asked to come home and get clean. I let him come home last Friday. I know relapse is part of recovery but I don't know how much more we (I) can take. I've been to be supportive (like you) through this process while trying to have boundaries. I've tried to treat him like he has cancer and not walk away but the bottom line is, he has to choose or I will.

Meetings? Not this time for some reason but he does see a substance abuse counselor weekly. We were going to Celebrate Recovery but they didn't have childcare and somebody at the meeting had lost custody of their child and our daughter freaked her out so they asked us to leave her somewhere else. I'm going to suggest he return to his home meetings this weekend.

Anyway, enough about me!

Have a great weekend and enjoy your "second honeymoon" with your hubby!

Janet

Abundance

ehem........... ~*~*~*~ VIBES ~*~*~* for cleaning the home please!!!! hahahaha

Did you guys watch that video????? It makes me giggle... not at him, but with him!!! It's so funny...... like in a monty python kind of way

Jody....... you are absolutely right about not everyone finding their way into recovery..... which is why I'm even as grateful and joyous as I am! The first week of rehab..... it wasn't looking so good. But he stuck by it... faking it til' he made it...... and now he is coming home on Sunday.... and is going to be doing out patient. Recovery is going to be at the fore front for both of us!

I can't tell you guys how glad I am to have found this site! I've posted on 3 boards now..... first one was a mommy board during my 2nd pg... and then the next one is a fan club site (tee hee)..... and now this one! SO to have found this as a place to enable me in my recovery .... is golden! Honestly, if I didn't have it... I don't think I would know which way was up!

Janet.... good for you for staying in your boundaries. Unfortunately, relapse is a part of recovery, but you did stick by your boundaries and you KNOW so much more than you did than when he was in active addiction! I am so proud of your hubby for surrendering again and to getting back into it! When I was at one of the rehab lectures... the speaker asked those who had relapsed how long they were back in active addiction before seeking recovery again..... some were days/weeks and at the most just a few months! That was reassuring! Apparently, when in recovery, using again takes on a different feeling... not the same as prior to recovery! So... I am sending you and your hubby some *~*~* VIBES ~*~*~ ......

Bob Dylan Anniversary Celebration...... is about to come on and going to shake shake shake my boooooooootay and fill the home with all this love I have inside of me!!

*from said show..........
Here is a link to an amazing song............ "emotionally yours" by the OJAYS..... YouTube - O'Jays - Emotionally Yours

and heres to all the women / men..... that are wanting to feel empowered to let go........ it will fill you with so much! Turn it up!!!!!!!! Clapton rocks it!!!!!!!
YouTube - don't think twice

and last, but not least........... "i shall be released"................!
YouTube - Chrissie Hynde - I Shall Be Released

Impurrfect

(((Abundance))) - sending you good vibes, hugs and prayers...that ought to have you covered!

(((Mrsmagoo))) - sending you all of the above, too.

I've read a lot of discussions here about relapse being a part of recovery....for me, I don't think it was a part of my recovery, because even though I was clean, I was definitely NOT in recovery. It WAS part of my addiction, though. I'm not saying I will never relapse, but I'm hoping that as long as I keep doing what I'm doing (keeping my recovery as a priority) I've got a great chance at avoiding relapse.

I don't even know if that makes sense...I just know that recovery is something I have to work at every day....talking with other addicts, helping when I can, and facing life's stuff without thinking of getting high as an option.

I wish you both, and your other-half's the best!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

beegee

Well by now I hope your finished cleaning but here some more vibes for ya ~*~*~*~*~*vibes for cleaning~*~*~*~*
I hope everything is good for you, you sound so happy. It is a good place to be! The best to you both and prayers for you. :bounce:bounce:bounce

Callie

Congrats Abs - enjoy your families newfound sobriety! So happy for you - here's to a better life!

greeteachday

It makes me smile ear to ear to feel your happiness shining through this post. A little late for todays cleaning vibes, but here are a few for next time (since cleaning never seems to end) ~~~~Enjoy the family day and the reunion...It's awesome how excited you both are about recovery Hugs

Abundance

WOOT WOOT!!! I think I shook my boootay a little too much! hahaha... that "emotionally yours" song on repeat..... lifts my spirits even higher ... hahahhaha! Got my hair trimmed and got THE cutest outfit at Ross for $1.99!
Thank you so much for all the ~*~*~* VIBES ~*~*~*~ !!!

Amy! Absofrigginlutely!!!! Everyone who is in recovery symbolizes so much strength! I take my hat off to you for kicking the ever living sh!t out of addiction!!!!! YOU ROCK!!!!!!!

Beegee........ Thank you so much! It's a great place to be!!!! I am beyond happy..... I'm like goofey geekey happy!!!!!

Callie....... Thank you!!!!!! I say "here here!!" ..... you too sista!!!!

GED....... I'm pocketing those vibes...... cause gosh darn it.... it just doesn't end .... does it? I'm glad I was able to make you smile...... ! I'm smiling with you! We both are really excited about beginning the rest of our new life!!!!


**** No one commented on the news reporter that got attacked by the flying lizard! His laugh is contagious....... it totally cracks me up! If you haven't watched it yet..... seriously.... watch it..... I bet it if it doesn't make you LOL..... it might make you grin..... just a bit! ******

BIG love and peace to you ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:ghug2

lightseeker

Abundance,

Woke up early and just wanted to send you more good vibes as this Saturday morning begins - and your new journey begins. I am so happy for the place that you and your RAH have made it to. It's a lot of hard work, determination, and doing the deal. It's helped me so much to focus on my own recovery over the last 3 years of my husband's sobriety. I honestly don't worry about him relapsing - not because of him - but because I think that the promises of my own recovery are at work.

You are smart to stay in today and not put "the bad" out there to the universe. By continuing to always do the next right thing we are assured of being where we need to be. I found that in sobriety that I needed my friends at SR more than I even did when he was in active addiction. I have an "instant" meeting at my finger tips and this has been a huge resource. We all are at different stages maybe and have different scenarios occuring but we share a common bond. The place where you are now is one where you can truly share a message of hope.

I'm looking forward to hearing how it all goes. I'm excited and happy for you both!

Jody Hepler

Thinking about you today and tomorrow especially - keep us posted. Hope everything goes well. You have a good foundation in your own recovery.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

Abundance

Jody and Lightseeker... thank you so much for thinking of me (us)...... it meant a lot seeing your posts!

Well... I'm here in town at a motel for the night..... what a day!

As soon as I arrived, we went into the one on one counseling with the guru dude. He gave us the following discharge instructions.
If there is a slip... get right back into meetings like never before. My guy followed up with saying if that happens, he will not return home.... and there will be no drugs in the house. (the worry of CPS has really hit home for him) However, if he finds himself doing it again and in relapse.... the agreement is moving into an SLE. He has been given addresses of ones that are local. I affirmed that I will support recovery and not active addiction... which means his not being in the home should relapse occur. I was advised to stay in codie recovery... and I agreed. I acknowledged that is what I have to do for myself. I know I have said this time and time again, how grateful I am to SR... but the fact that I have been here since December, it really makes such a huge difference for me. We are also going to be going to Wednesday couple meetings/therapy and then I will do al/anon and/or coda on my own.

The lecture pretty much could have said my ABF's name all over it... it was all about how a 30 day treatment facility is not the cure and that the recovery WORK is at home.... is the cure. My guy is quite terrified. He wants this so badly... but the "forgetting of the pain" and the denial is so easy to set in. He is "future tripping" on a lot of "what ifs".... the codie in me just wants to wrap him up and coddle him and protect him, but I know that is not even remotely a possibility. So... what I intend on doing is supporting him in his and working on mine. Hope for the best, while preparing for the worst. I feel as though having boundaries in place is the preparation part of it. And for him... having the SLE addresses and what's available to him should there be a relapse.

They did the roast tonight.... and he is discharged at 8:45 am Sunday.... he is nervous about civilization ... our plans for the day are to just see how it goes... and do a cleanse in the river... a bit of shopping and then head back for the 30 day chip meeting ... returning home (boys are with their dad til Monday AM)... and then it all starts on Monday (with the meetings) ... and out patient begins on Wed.

Today was a good dose of reality. He has won this battle, but the war has only begun. I am still very positive; however, and by us both being in recovery... it will keep us on the same plane.... and together having the same goals in mind!

I laughed SO MUCH today... there were a couple of alumni's that came back for lectures and I met them in the beginning of the stay.. it's like an instant connection and was really good to share so much! I just have so much respect for the people who want to get clean and STAY clean and are working the program! And on top of it .... have the BEST sense of humor!

Guru guy did put a little scare in us.... about our not being so "into one another" on a sober level... and so forth. That makes sense. In fact, so much of this makes sense.... and the obvious being brought to our attention... the good and the bad... helps a ton.... it keeps it all very real!

So..... tomorrow we embark on this journey of recovery, we both have instructions.... 90 meetings in 90 days.... out patient....... my coda meetings... and staying in the present..... and recovery being in the forefront of our minds!

OH..... I also asked the guru guy before I left.... "My not wanting to know all the gory details and truths of his active addiction.... does it make me a person in "denial"..... and he asked me why I would even want to go backwards when all that matters is going forward..... in TRUTH?! So... that was reassuring... he as offered to tell me his story and I just can't stomach it right now.... the sensations in my body just take me back to that place that was so destructive to my being.

Thanks for reading guys... I"m e x h a u s t e d.

xoxo

Impurrfect

Everything sounds great!

Just a note....tell him to stop thinking "what if" and deal with "what is". I did a whole lot of what-iffing, until I came here and learned from my recovering codies. Now, when anyone asks me "but what if....." I say, "I'll deal with it then".

We are given a lot of tools, in recovery (codie AND addiction) to deal with things. When something comes up and we don't know what to do, or which direction to go in...that's when we reach out to others. I haven't found one single situation that I've faced, that I haven't come here and gotten the ES&H to figure out how to deal with it. He'll be going to meetings, and there will be people there with more time and others with less. Someone will have some good ES&H on whatever he's dealing with.

But YOU...wow! You sound really good. Keep working on YOUR codie recovery, let him deal with his recovery and you'll be okay.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Impurrfect

oh, and I finally watched the lizard thing. He kept his composure a heckuva lot better than I would have! Of course, I'm terrified of snakes, so I'd have been running out the back door, anyway. I did crack up at his reaction, though.

Thanks!

peaceteach

Abundance,

I'm just so happy for you and your guy. It all sounds very positive, and you seem to be well aware of all possibilities. Good luck and I hope you have a great trip home and a fabulous new week in your lives

I watched the video too--yikes! Hahahahaha!!!

Abundance

Amy and PT........ thank you!!

Thanks so much for that Amy! Great advice! It helps so much to divert to the being in the present.

Well....... we are home! We got home last night actually and what I am working on right now...... is curbing the... "So... what meeting and time are you going to... 11am... 5pm... 6pm... etc?"........ I SO DO NOT WANT TO DO THAT! How I should express it... is this... "It would help me to know what time(s) you'll be gone so I can plan meals... etc.". SO..... he went to a meeting tonight and just called... He already has a sponsor! And he is choosing the AA meetings because he feels that from the meetings at rehab... there were folks there with longer sobriety. So... he got an "done it all" type guy for a sponsor and this place is an AA clubhouse... so he said there is 24/7 support there! Also... he woke up today and did a lot of reading in the books that he bought in rehab. Took a nap and fixed the fridge I am SO proud of him. I wish that I could go to Al-anon meetings as much he does... I feel like I could use them especially during times of anxiety.... or when I notice that I'm not focusing so much on myself.

Anywho..... there are some aggros and annoyances.... the weather is HOT and neither of us have A/C... so that is annoying to go out in. And on the way to the AA meeting he passed a bar and he said "the other guy" started talking and wondering if there was A/C in the bar and how a cold one would be really nice....... but he trucked on to the meeting instead. That "guy" talks a lot...... I'm wondering... does he go away or come out less as time goes on????? That guy started talking yesterday after leaving rehab and was telling him that he should pick up his 30 day chip at his home meeting, but my guy persevered and went to the rehab AA meeting at 3pm (after going shopping and swimming in the ocean (not the river).. and having lunch)... and he picked up his chip there..... and that meeting was incredible because the speaker was someone who had been clean for 5 years that weekend and talked about how her recovery started with the same rehab, but her recovery was all on her working it when she left.

And then another cool thing....... when we were driving out... we were listening to the Grateful Dead.... and were singing along to "Truckin'..... got my chips cashed in..... "..... and we were totally cracking up because boy does that song take on a new meaning now! LOL!

So.... he is on his way home.... and I am cooking dinner for the fam... so I'm going to get back to that.... but I just wanted to give an update.

TODAY.... was a day filled with joy, apprehension, anxiety at times, but all in all.... today was a good day! NO... scratch that... today was a GREAT day!

Peace and love xoxoxo