there is hope...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 34
there is hope...
Its been a while since I posted on SR, but wanted to update all of you on my situation as I feel it will give much hope, especially to those with AHs.
In June 2006, I unknowingly married a pill addict - oxycontin, percocet, etc. I found out the truth six months later, spend the next six months trying to help him and slowly realized you can't help someone who won't help themselves. The third time AH claimed to be clean and I caught him using, I finally accepted my fate and gave up. Some might call it detaching with love; I call it saving myself. That was July 2007; we were officially divorced by October 2007. I've never felt such relief, even though going to the courthouse that morning was the hardest thing I've had to do - I can remember looking down at my feet and thinking "keep putting one in front of the other." But when it was over, an odd sense of peace came over me. Just feeling safe in my own home again was a blessing.
But wait - there's more! A mere two months later, I met the love of my life. And I mean THE LOVE of my life. I've never experienced love like this before, and treasure it completely. We're now living together, and fully expect to be engaged by summer's end.
So to all of you who fear leaving your husbands and tolerate entirely too much pain and grief, please think twice about saving yourself! The unknown can be scary, but I guarantee you that a life without all that anxiety is worth it! Face that fear and do what you have to do to live a happy, loving, fulfilling life. If you have kids, do it for them. They deserve more. If you don't, as I didn't, do it for your unborn children who deserve so much more in a father and family life. There IS life after addiction, and you can make it happen by PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST. I did, and its the best thing I've ever done.
In June 2006, I unknowingly married a pill addict - oxycontin, percocet, etc. I found out the truth six months later, spend the next six months trying to help him and slowly realized you can't help someone who won't help themselves. The third time AH claimed to be clean and I caught him using, I finally accepted my fate and gave up. Some might call it detaching with love; I call it saving myself. That was July 2007; we were officially divorced by October 2007. I've never felt such relief, even though going to the courthouse that morning was the hardest thing I've had to do - I can remember looking down at my feet and thinking "keep putting one in front of the other." But when it was over, an odd sense of peace came over me. Just feeling safe in my own home again was a blessing.
But wait - there's more! A mere two months later, I met the love of my life. And I mean THE LOVE of my life. I've never experienced love like this before, and treasure it completely. We're now living together, and fully expect to be engaged by summer's end.
So to all of you who fear leaving your husbands and tolerate entirely too much pain and grief, please think twice about saving yourself! The unknown can be scary, but I guarantee you that a life without all that anxiety is worth it! Face that fear and do what you have to do to live a happy, loving, fulfilling life. If you have kids, do it for them. They deserve more. If you don't, as I didn't, do it for your unborn children who deserve so much more in a father and family life. There IS life after addiction, and you can make it happen by PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST. I did, and its the best thing I've ever done.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 328
Ive experienced it too - there is recovery (and life) whether or not the addicts in our life ever stay sober. And I just don't think the God of my understanding wants me to live with uncertainty and misery and abuse and ... and... and.... I found that life is so much more. For a kid from an alcoholic home and one that has alcoholic kids, I have learned that life truly can be beyond my wildest dreams.
Congratulations!
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
Congratulations!
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
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