blue412

ok.. Today I have 26 days sober. I have truly taken to heart everything I learned in treatment. I'm going to meetings everyday, Im doing a lot of listening there. I think I know where my home group is going to be and I'm working on getting a sponsor. It's a little weird being home after being in that safe bubble at rehab, but I'm feeling ok.. Sometimes I think about drinking, but I have not had any serious cravings. This is sort of my issue. I know I'm supposed to be focused on today...BUT I'm scared to death that one day I'm going to wake up and just be dying to drink. Should I expect this to happen? Is it just different for everyone? Am I in some sort of "honeymoon" phase because I'm so newly clean? Thanks, Brian

TTOSBT

Brain, maybe you are and maybe you are not. Lotsa help right?
I am 48 days sober and have not had any cravings. I just might be done?
I do still think about it occasionally and of course the habit part of it took a little work. That is, driving a different way home because I did not need to stop at the grocery store, etc.
But I must say that every morning I ask my high power to relieve me of my obsession and it seems to be working for me.
Congrats on 26 days!!

22NGONE

Blue,

I think it is different for everyone, I personally have not ever woke up "just dying to drink." There was one day where I couldn't get the thought out of my head but communication with my sponsor and an early bed time took care of that. Mostly for me, it's activities which made me think of having a beer, first yard work of the Summer, first ball game, etc. I would get that thought in my head, but I would immediately remind myself that "that's not me anymore." and it would pass. I'm sure you'll be fine, congrats on your Sober time and the new you!

Good luck,

John

Anna

Hi Brian,

As others have said, it is different for everyone. I'm glad things are going smoothly for you now and I hope you keep focusing on your recovery.

four812

hello and congradulations and welcome


it could be a good idea to assume that you will have strong urges again. this can help me to be aware of if i'm getting an urge or if i am getting uncomfortable (bored, lonely, scared)

on the other side of the coin, I don't want to set myself up with a self-fullfilled-prophecy.

a good question

Dee74

Everyones different.
Just keep it 'in the day' IMO - today is good? why sweat it?

Enjoy it.
D

gravity

I am a bit over six months sober and occasionally I still feel that fear – I will get an urge to drink, I will act upon it, and I will be back in my own personal hell.

Earlier in my sobriety, I felt this fear on a regular basis. In a major way, this actually drove my recovery effort. I worked with my sponsor, worked hard on the 12 steps, kept reaching out for help, and did a lot of reading. And I’m not done. One of my personal mantras is that I would much rather do too much for my recovery than not enough. During the first few months, I felt like I was facing the world (and all those risky situations) with nothing more than my sponsor’s phone number and a prayer – but I made it.

I couldn’t keep avoiding “people, places, and things” forever but I was lucky enough to not have to face these challenges until after a month or so into my recovery. Uncomfortable at the time but I managed. I also remember telling my sponsor that I still occasionally fantasized about drinking. He responded “Good. You would be lying if you said you weren’t.”

I am at a point where I feel much more confident about my sobriety. I have a bit of sober time. I have faced some challenges and won. My emotional & spiritual growth is something that I am so grateful for. There is no place for drinking in my life. One day at a time and the future looks promising.

I believe that you are right where you are supposed to be. You have developed some good tools in treatment and are getting into AA. Keep at it and I think that you will be okay.

CarolD

I feel the AA Steps were my key to solid recovery.

Good to see you again
and you are doing qite well.
Congratulations!

blue412

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the support and encouragement. Ironicly, lol, yesterday turned out to be my roughest day to date. In treatment they put me on a new antidepressant(Paxil) along with nurontin for anxiety. One of them is giving me these killer, incapacitating headaches. I was cranky and depressed because I felt so crappy. Found myself shutting out my partner, some people from AA who have sort of taken me under their wing, and in a way returning back to some of my self destructive using behavior. I was so miserable that I just wanted to drink. Badly. (because we all know how much better that makes us feel.... yeah, right) I skipped my meeting last night and stayed in bed. Like textbook what not to do... But I prayed and felt a little better. Then somewhere out of nowhere, I remembered something someone said while she was speaking at a meeting about her last relapse.. "I'll show you...I'll hurt me even more" A little lightbulb went on over my head..and I laughed and the desire to use went away. So, today is a new day. I'm going to a meeting this morning. I'm going to call my new friends from AA, and lastly find someone to adjust this medication. Thanks, b

Ananda

yeah...i kept drinking poisen and hoping the other person would die!!!!!

Tazman53

Blue keep doing what you are doing, like others said, everyone is different, I was fine for my first 2 months and then came so close to relapsing it was not funny, luckily I had listened to my sponsor and was calling folks in the program daily, I called someone and they got me over the hump. I was soon after that I started working the steps, for me they were the key, the obsession was lifted for me and has not returned, I continue to apply the steps to my daily life and the obsession stays away.

Bob welcome to SR!!!!