sponsorship
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
sponsorship
At my meeting tonight, again, I was asked by a few people if I got a sponsor, yet. Seems like that is what you are supposed to do, but I'm not really sure why. Maybe I'm not sharing correctly?
What's wrong with just reading and going to meetings?
I really don't want to take on more work, but was told the work I'd do would be more fruitful and worth it. Also, it was mentioned I could get a temporary sponsor to just try it out.
I have trouble with the higher power aspect, but I do enjoy the company of others who can relate to my experience, too.
Thoughts?? What am I missing from having a sponsor?
What's wrong with just reading and going to meetings?
I really don't want to take on more work, but was told the work I'd do would be more fruitful and worth it. Also, it was mentioned I could get a temporary sponsor to just try it out.
I have trouble with the higher power aspect, but I do enjoy the company of others who can relate to my experience, too.
Thoughts?? What am I missing from having a sponsor?
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
What am I missing from having a sponsor?
So at 3 years, when she STRONGLY SUGGESTED that I start attending Alanon regularly in addition to my AA, I did, only because I was still into 'people pleasing' when it came to my sponsor.
When I got to Alanon, what I heard made sense, however, was fearful I might be missing something. Leaving my recovery to my own understanding without guidance was just a "NO-NO" for me. So I found an Alanon sponsor that was a double winner.
I have learned from having a sponsor and being a sponsor that my understanding is much better when I am working with another who came before me, and also had a sponsor.
The Guidance was invaluable for this alkie/codie.
Your choice, but I do believe you will benefit greatly from a sponsor.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
this is off an Al-Anon bookmark on Sponsorship - Working Together to Recover
Sponsorship is a confidential relationship between two Al-Anon memebers who benefit from sharing experience, strength and hope. The intimate details exchange strengthen the bonds of compassion, acceptance, and understanding. This private relationship is focuson on the AL-Anon principles. Making a commitment to special relationship, or letting go of the relationship, is a personal choice.
SPONSORSHIP IS:
* a relationship built on equality, anonymity, and trust
* an opportunity for growth-for both the sponsee and sponsor
* a benefit at any stage of recovery
* a commitment to practice healthy communication-not based on intimidation or demands
* an agreement to recover and grow together; not to struggle in isolation
* an opportunity for self-discovery; not a teacher-pupil relationship
* an experience basid on unconditional love, not shame or judgment
* a spiritual relationship with no strings attached
* a one-to-one relationship; not an exclusive club
For me personally, I know that my sponsor is a recovery oriented person. If I am having a difficult time with a situation, I can call her and she will gently discuss it with me - have healthy compassion for my feelings, possibly mention some literature that she read when going thru a similiar experience, suggest some possible tools of the program that may help me.
Never does she tell me what I have to do or what I can't do. She may share her perspective on the situation, if I ask for it. But it is always with love and with my best interest in her heart.
I have had 2 sponsors in my almost 5 yrs in the program - my first sponsor no longer attends meetings so I felt like I needed someone who was active in the program.
It is a personal choice - for me, tho I feel that I have not only grown from having a sponsor, but also by being a sponsor to others. It is a mutually beneficial relationship.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Sponsorship is a confidential relationship between two Al-Anon memebers who benefit from sharing experience, strength and hope. The intimate details exchange strengthen the bonds of compassion, acceptance, and understanding. This private relationship is focuson on the AL-Anon principles. Making a commitment to special relationship, or letting go of the relationship, is a personal choice.
SPONSORSHIP IS:
* a relationship built on equality, anonymity, and trust
* an opportunity for growth-for both the sponsee and sponsor
* a benefit at any stage of recovery
* a commitment to practice healthy communication-not based on intimidation or demands
* an agreement to recover and grow together; not to struggle in isolation
* an opportunity for self-discovery; not a teacher-pupil relationship
* an experience basid on unconditional love, not shame or judgment
* a spiritual relationship with no strings attached
* a one-to-one relationship; not an exclusive club
For me personally, I know that my sponsor is a recovery oriented person. If I am having a difficult time with a situation, I can call her and she will gently discuss it with me - have healthy compassion for my feelings, possibly mention some literature that she read when going thru a similiar experience, suggest some possible tools of the program that may help me.
Never does she tell me what I have to do or what I can't do. She may share her perspective on the situation, if I ask for it. But it is always with love and with my best interest in her heart.
I have had 2 sponsors in my almost 5 yrs in the program - my first sponsor no longer attends meetings so I felt like I needed someone who was active in the program.
It is a personal choice - for me, tho I feel that I have not only grown from having a sponsor, but also by being a sponsor to others. It is a mutually beneficial relationship.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
When I first got into recovery I had _no_ idea what a healthy relationship was like. What I found was a bunch of people who were working hard at being healthy, and at having healthy relationships. These pepole had what I wanted.
Reading books and going to meetings has been a huge help. But it lacks the personal touch. I only get to know people in a general way. I never see them in their homes, with their kids, dealing with life on lifes terms. Books and meets give me intellectual knowledge, but no _example_.
My sponsor is to me like the older brother I never had. A brother that is _healthier_ than me. Saner, more serene. He introduces me to other sane and serene people who become friends and take me under wing. My sponsor and his wife have been married _40_ years. When they pass each other in the house she stops to kiss him on the forehead, he caresses her cheek and says he loves her. They've been thru all the hardships life can throw and their relationship gets _stronger_ each time.
I want my life to be like theirs.
That's what a sponsor is for. To show me, specifically, how to live life on life's terms using the tools of recovery.
Mike
Reading books and going to meetings has been a huge help. But it lacks the personal touch. I only get to know people in a general way. I never see them in their homes, with their kids, dealing with life on lifes terms. Books and meets give me intellectual knowledge, but no _example_.
My sponsor is to me like the older brother I never had. A brother that is _healthier_ than me. Saner, more serene. He introduces me to other sane and serene people who become friends and take me under wing. My sponsor and his wife have been married _40_ years. When they pass each other in the house she stops to kiss him on the forehead, he caresses her cheek and says he loves her. They've been thru all the hardships life can throw and their relationship gets _stronger_ each time.
I want my life to be like theirs.
That's what a sponsor is for. To show me, specifically, how to live life on life's terms using the tools of recovery.
Mike
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