Introducing Myself...with this pt 1.
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 66
Introducing Myself...with this pt 1.
Hello all,
I finally got the courage to create a profile, and participate here. I am an ACOA female, mid 30's single. On top of this, I just ended a very short, but very intense romantic relationship with a man that I thought/everyone though was active in recovery, but isn't.
Being an ACOA that is very staunch against drugs, and drinks rarely, it was a HUGE deal for me to get involved with him in the first, and I told him so. I told him that I don't get involved with addicts. I know all too well that even if someone is in recovery, there's always the chance for them to relapse. And for me, it's not just about the relapse, it's the toxic behaviors that go with it. I just can't put myself through that. As it stands, my parents are no longer in my life (my choice, based upon their choices, and horrible characteristics.
Anyway, I gave him a chance in my life, and with my heart, because he's in an emotional recovery program with me. We both are veterans, and have depression, and there is a program that helps us function basically like healthy human beings, in the face of depression, or other ailments. It's totally outpatient, and for people high functioning. Anyway, I knew he had issues, he'd shared with me that he was chemically dependent. Anyway, I didn't plan to fall in love. He'd asked to call me on the phone, and I said no at first. Six weeks had past, and then I told him he could call me. We went to lunch that day. Lunch turned into a date a few days later. After the most beautiful, and organic feeling date I've had in four years, and maybe EVER, we became more. It was fast, we questioned it, but both felt we are adults, and it is what it is, and it felt right for both of us.
Anyway, during a weekend that he spent with me, it became appearent to me that he had issues with alcohol as well. I'm trying to spare the reader's eyes, but in short, the last 2 or so weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions for me, and now it's over. And I'm hear with a broken heart, and the range of emotions. I still can't fully put it into words clearly, so in part2, I'm going to share my journal entry on this, and feel free to help me sort through what I'm trying to express, please.
I finally got the courage to create a profile, and participate here. I am an ACOA female, mid 30's single. On top of this, I just ended a very short, but very intense romantic relationship with a man that I thought/everyone though was active in recovery, but isn't.
Being an ACOA that is very staunch against drugs, and drinks rarely, it was a HUGE deal for me to get involved with him in the first, and I told him so. I told him that I don't get involved with addicts. I know all too well that even if someone is in recovery, there's always the chance for them to relapse. And for me, it's not just about the relapse, it's the toxic behaviors that go with it. I just can't put myself through that. As it stands, my parents are no longer in my life (my choice, based upon their choices, and horrible characteristics.
Anyway, I gave him a chance in my life, and with my heart, because he's in an emotional recovery program with me. We both are veterans, and have depression, and there is a program that helps us function basically like healthy human beings, in the face of depression, or other ailments. It's totally outpatient, and for people high functioning. Anyway, I knew he had issues, he'd shared with me that he was chemically dependent. Anyway, I didn't plan to fall in love. He'd asked to call me on the phone, and I said no at first. Six weeks had past, and then I told him he could call me. We went to lunch that day. Lunch turned into a date a few days later. After the most beautiful, and organic feeling date I've had in four years, and maybe EVER, we became more. It was fast, we questioned it, but both felt we are adults, and it is what it is, and it felt right for both of us.
Anyway, during a weekend that he spent with me, it became appearent to me that he had issues with alcohol as well. I'm trying to spare the reader's eyes, but in short, the last 2 or so weeks have been a rollercoaster of emotions for me, and now it's over. And I'm hear with a broken heart, and the range of emotions. I still can't fully put it into words clearly, so in part2, I'm going to share my journal entry on this, and feel free to help me sort through what I'm trying to express, please.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Glad you found us.
Sorry to hear you're hurting after putting yourself out there.
I know it's hard to find words at times to express how you're feeling.
I know for me, I journal too and found it's a healthy outlet for my emotions.
God Bless,
Judy
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
He must have used that classic alkie-in-need-of-a-codie move. You know, the one where they appear to be the best thing that's ever happened to you. Mr. Perfect. The perfect date. The most intense sweep-you-off-your-feet guy ever.
Wonder how I know this? I, too, have been a victim. But SR and Alanon taught me that if something or someone seems too good to be true, it/he probably is. They also taught me that I am only a victim if I choose to be.
The first hook was telling you he was an addict then asking if it was OK to call you. He dangled the bait knowing you were a codie, and you bit.
Read the sticky on the top of the forum called "Alcoholism is a three-act play" (or something along those lines). It is an eye opening read. Welcome to the forum. Looking forward to getting to know you.
Wonder how I know this? I, too, have been a victim. But SR and Alanon taught me that if something or someone seems too good to be true, it/he probably is. They also taught me that I am only a victim if I choose to be.
The first hook was telling you he was an addict then asking if it was OK to call you. He dangled the bait knowing you were a codie, and you bit.
Read the sticky on the top of the forum called "Alcoholism is a three-act play" (or something along those lines). It is an eye opening read. Welcome to the forum. Looking forward to getting to know you.
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