Yesterdaysnumb

UGH! I've continued to keep my boundaries up until Saturday. I made my addict husband leave the home and he's been staying at his cousin's house. Now, on Saturday I made a mistake with allowing him to spend the day with us. I also let him stay the night in order to spend the holiday (MOTHER'S DAY) with us the next morning and go to church. Mother's day turned into night and I was way too exhausted to begin to even consider dropping him off to his mom's house. (of course he doesn't have transportation) So, that turned into this morning. I woke up, got the kids ready and was ready to go. He normally drops me off at work and picks me up... but this morning, I said no. I'll take myself. (totally out of the ordinary for me to do) So anyway, I thought about it and said, well if he takes me then I can at least get some laundry done by him... So, he took me to work, dropped the kids off and went to the laundry mat.

Sounds fine right?? WRONG! THREE FREAKIN HOURS AFTER HE GOES TO THE LAUNDRY MAT HE ACTUALLY THINKS i'M DUMB enough to believe that the clothes are still not dry. I said, *** bring me my f******* car NOW! Then the truth came out, "Uh, well I'm over my dude's house (a known drug user) but I'll be home in a little while". WHAAAT!!!? I'm so F******* pissed at myself for letting down my boundaries.

1. I should've never let him come over on Saturday.

2. I should've never let him spend the night on Saturday and Sunday

3. I most definantly should not have let him TAKE MY DAMN CAR!! UGH!!


I relapsed....

Jody Hepler

Been there, done that. But each time I learn more quickly.

"so you pick yourself up and dust yourself off and start all over again"

Love in recovery,
Jody

lilkim

That's ok. S***t happens. Mine wanted to come over for "Mother's Day" also. I didn't want him to but didn't want to fight. I got lucky and avoid the whole mess. Can we say a hell yes. I know that I should have just told him no but sometimes I just take the easy way out. Kinda chicken but oh,well. He clled me this morning wanting to know if I had a date yesterday. Where that even came from I have no clue.

MrsMagoo

I swear I think with addiction comes the ability to throw the "hoo do" on us! Don't beat yourself up! Lesson learned. We all want to believe. It's human nature to have hope in the people we love.

Much love!

Cupicake

We live, we learn.
I've let down my guard before only to learn each time that it's not a good idea. These happenings are life's little reminders of why we have our boundaries in place to begin with.

hello-kitty

live and learn...

as long as we learn something from our relapses, and apply the lesson to the situation the next time it comes up, then all is not lost.

Ann

I didn't learn anything in my recovery, without lessons...lessons like you just experienced. And I'm a slow learner so sometimes believed that things would be better "next time". They never were.

Whether our addict is our child or our partner, the lessons keep coming and then one day it all makes sense and we say "enough". Thus endeth the lesson

You gave him a chance, you tried one more time, you opened your heart with compassion. Just because he blew it (as active addicts usually do) doesn't mean what you did wasn't a nice thing, even though it turned out badly.

Embrace the lesson, brush yourself off and don't look back.

Hugs

lil516

Live and learn


I hope the car is back!!

rose

Oh don't beat yourself up! I did things like that two...notice I said Things with a plural. Once when I let him back I trusted him with my bank card, he said that he was going to get $20.00 out I said ok but I want the reciept. He came back with the receipt for $20.00 but not the one for the next withdrawl for $100.00.

Making changes and keeping boundaries takes a lot of hard work!

Rose

devastated

Don't be so hard on yourself. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I relasped. It's not a relaspe, it's a learning experience.

It takes time and practice believe me. Shoot, I've been practicing for years and years. So here it is 30 years later (son is 45) and I'm beginning to catch on.

Shall I tell you about the camera I replaced 3 times??? LOL DUH!

Hugs, Devastated

ZombieWife

Ya know, it's interesting how down we get on ourselves when we do something like show compassion, forgive and be a human being.

You are a lovely human being. You can never be angry at yourself for doing that. You offered him a glimpse into how great his life could be if he made different choices, and HE messed it up. He just bit the hand that fed him.

:ghug