ihatethis

I know this is redundant. I know! And stupid and silly and all those other selfish things I have in me. But I just wanted to say that I came here because I was lost and the A in my life was making me doubt everything about myself. (still does though I limit contact) Nothing was untouched. And I came here and I used you. In the very best way I hope. I needed to talk, and still do from time to time. And you have been such a wonderful outlet. You've allowed me to wallow in my pain when I needed to, and slapped me to my sense when I need it.

But I sit here now, and I think to myself.... I don't know as I believe in being guided by God. I believe, but I don't know as he takes an interest in my online habits. But I am here. And I needed to be here. In all honesty today I am really upset with the A that brought me here. I heard from him today, and I didn't like what I had to hear. But I still have all of you. I still lean on all of you. Even when I'm not posting. Even when what you posted moved me to tears or to laughter. But I thank you all... and some of you aren't still here...at least not now. And I'm willing you to come online tonight to read this because some of you have meant more than you'd ever know. Really. (and I don't abuse drugs, so its not that talking) :-)

I don't expect one single reply. But I want you to know. Thank you so much!!!

Freedom1990

There is no better feeling in the world than to find others who understand the pain, confusion, anger, and grief that we experience when we have a loved one active in addictions. :ghug2

Ann

I remember the first time I went to a meeting, the relief I felt just because I knew the people there "understood" me, they knew my pain and they invited me to stay even though my first 3 meetings all I could do was cry.

You're not "using" us, sweetie, we're using you, because you see in this program if we want to keep it we have to give it away. So helping you helps us in our recovery too, and as you begin to feel better and grow in recovery, you will begin sharing with newcomers who wonder if they can ever be as lucky as you.

One codie helping another, it's a simple program and it works.

Your words are very sweet, and I'm grateful to have you walk with us on this journey.

Hugs

peaceteach

You're not "using" us, sweetie, we're using you, because you see in this program if we want to keep it we have to give it away.


I love this, Ann! Thanks for this thread, Ihatethis. I feel the same way

BayAreaPhoenix

I'm with you! I'm so glad I found all you wonderful people on this journey.

Recently I said something about that I wouldn't have chosen this, but now I wouldn't change it. It's because every single person that has come into my life because of this "situation" has been a blessing. I have learned so much and come to care about so many! I love having so many of you to share this path with, and yet there is a part of me that wishes there weren't so many of us.

But, we are where we are - let's do it together!

:ghug2

bookmiser

Me too! Me too!



Thanks for bringin' it up. lol

Spiritual Seeker

Glad you are here too.