Tough Decision - Need your perspective
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 215
Tough Decision - Need your perspective
My 17 year old son attended 6 months residential treatment boarding school, came back and was Ok for about a month (restricted privileges) and then after 30 days we gave him more priveleges like driving and staying overnight at friends and before long...he has slipped, skipped school, and got two speeding tickets, and also has been involved in sexual activity with 15 year olds and two sets of paretns called and asked that I make sure he stay away from them. IN TX a 17 year old with a 15 year old is a crime.
So unless I totally restrict him from everything he steps into trouble. I cannot trust him! I don't feel OK giving him any freedom. So we are thinking back to a recovery/residential program til he's 18. But it costs a lot of money! We would get educational loans to pay the monthly tuition. My thinking is that it is our last opportunity as parents of a minor to do what we can to help him (and keep him out of jail). Then after he turns 18 he is on his own. But I need to feel OK about spending this money! His dad thinks he should go into the military so that might be an option. PS I do go to alanon regularly and its been a huge help for me.
I just need some support and your perspectives on this. thank you very much.
So unless I totally restrict him from everything he steps into trouble. I cannot trust him! I don't feel OK giving him any freedom. So we are thinking back to a recovery/residential program til he's 18. But it costs a lot of money! We would get educational loans to pay the monthly tuition. My thinking is that it is our last opportunity as parents of a minor to do what we can to help him (and keep him out of jail). Then after he turns 18 he is on his own. But I need to feel OK about spending this money! His dad thinks he should go into the military so that might be an option. PS I do go to alanon regularly and its been a huge help for me.
I just need some support and your perspectives on this. thank you very much.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Hi, I'm in TX also. yep, it is a crime punishable by law if the parents filed charges.
I understand wanting to do everything humanly possible. Be careful as I learned the hard way that by TX law, if he is 17, he legally doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to, and until age 18 you are financially responsible for him!! My AD didn't get involved until age 17 and there was nothing I could do.
I know you are heartbroken and doing all you can. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
susan
I understand wanting to do everything humanly possible. Be careful as I learned the hard way that by TX law, if he is 17, he legally doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to, and until age 18 you are financially responsible for him!! My AD didn't get involved until age 17 and there was nothing I could do.
I know you are heartbroken and doing all you can. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
susan
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
I'm so sorry Jehnifer, its seems like adouble edged sword at that edge.
I know iwth my son the "people, places, things" rule certainly applied in that he could not move onto a better path unless he gave up all the old friends hang out etc.
With that said, it seems any chance to get him away from it would be a good plan if he's willing.
Is there a professional you could speak to about your options in Texas?
Wishing you peace an clarity
(((Hugs)))
I know iwth my son the "people, places, things" rule certainly applied in that he could not move onto a better path unless he gave up all the old friends hang out etc.
With that said, it seems any chance to get him away from it would be a good plan if he's willing.
Is there a professional you could speak to about your options in Texas?
Wishing you peace an clarity
(((Hugs)))
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