Moving out on my Own
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 88
Moving out on my Own
Hello Everyone:
Self-disclossure has always been so difficult. But over the past Year and a half, I have learned that it is sometimes essential to be honest. Anyway, for the past week I have been feeling very unsure about where things are going for me, and I am scared to death about recent events that are taking place in my life....even though they are VERY GOOD things.
I have been in a modified TC (Theraputic Community) program for the past 16 months, and I just found out last week, that I was approved for getting an apartment of my own. After 16 months of structure and intense encounter groups, I have graduated the program, and will be moving out on my own within the next week or two.
This program that I am in, is very different than most, as I can come and go as I please and the program staff are only here Monday - Friday 9am to 5 pm. So the house is pretty much run by the clients here. It's hard to explain how it works in a short post...but this stuff does work for a lot of guys. (and for many it doesn't)
I was homeless before coming to this program, and now I will be leaving with a job and a place of my own to live in....I am ecstatic over this, but at the same time, I'm scared ********!!!! The last time I had my own place, I ended up relapsing and losing EVERYTHING, and those images keep popping up in my head. My bottem was the gutters of New York after ariving here on a greyhound bus in a blackout from Missouri in October of 2006....Long Story.. Anyway, I never tried a long term treatment program before and decided to give it a try...I'd been to short term 28 day and 30 day programs before but nothing like this...It truly has been amazing!!!!
I've met a lot of great people in both AA and NA, and through this program, and I know that I have to continue meetings and be extra careful once I leave this place...still I am filled with so many emotions right now that I am freaking out inside.
Tomorrow (Monday), I go to look at the apartment, and sign the paperwork for it. I keep telling myself that every things okay and to just relax, but that's easier said than done for me right now. I thank my HP for watching over me and have prayed for my anxiety to go away, but this is a big step for me.
Please say a little prayer for me that I will just calm down, and I will be okay with all this. I am trying to keep my recovery up front so desperately this weekend. That's why I decided to share this with you all.
I'll let you all know how it all goes, okay?
Peace, Love, and Respect,
Artur
Self-disclossure has always been so difficult. But over the past Year and a half, I have learned that it is sometimes essential to be honest. Anyway, for the past week I have been feeling very unsure about where things are going for me, and I am scared to death about recent events that are taking place in my life....even though they are VERY GOOD things.
I have been in a modified TC (Theraputic Community) program for the past 16 months, and I just found out last week, that I was approved for getting an apartment of my own. After 16 months of structure and intense encounter groups, I have graduated the program, and will be moving out on my own within the next week or two.
This program that I am in, is very different than most, as I can come and go as I please and the program staff are only here Monday - Friday 9am to 5 pm. So the house is pretty much run by the clients here. It's hard to explain how it works in a short post...but this stuff does work for a lot of guys. (and for many it doesn't)
I was homeless before coming to this program, and now I will be leaving with a job and a place of my own to live in....I am ecstatic over this, but at the same time, I'm scared ********!!!! The last time I had my own place, I ended up relapsing and losing EVERYTHING, and those images keep popping up in my head. My bottem was the gutters of New York after ariving here on a greyhound bus in a blackout from Missouri in October of 2006....Long Story.. Anyway, I never tried a long term treatment program before and decided to give it a try...I'd been to short term 28 day and 30 day programs before but nothing like this...It truly has been amazing!!!!
I've met a lot of great people in both AA and NA, and through this program, and I know that I have to continue meetings and be extra careful once I leave this place...still I am filled with so many emotions right now that I am freaking out inside.
Tomorrow (Monday), I go to look at the apartment, and sign the paperwork for it. I keep telling myself that every things okay and to just relax, but that's easier said than done for me right now. I thank my HP for watching over me and have prayed for my anxiety to go away, but this is a big step for me.
Please say a little prayer for me that I will just calm down, and I will be okay with all this. I am trying to keep my recovery up front so desperately this weekend. That's why I decided to share this with you all.
I'll let you all know how it all goes, okay?
Peace, Love, and Respect,
Artur
Hannitized
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 353
Dear Lord, I pray that You bless the poster I know as Artur with serenity as he makes this major change in his life. Please give him the courage to go forward. Give him the presence of mind to use the tools and techniques he has been taught. I ask this in the name of your Son, Jesus Christ.
Best wishes to you, Artur.
Liberty~
Best wishes to you, Artur.
Liberty~
Philippines/Canada
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Left Coast
Posts: 454
Wow thats awesome Artur, i am so happy for you you. You have gotten your life back and getting more and more everyday, fantastic. You must be very grateful and proud of your continued accomplishments.
I can relate to how you feel. I didn't have my own place for 2.5 years due to addiction. My confidence was non existent and i was overrun with fear. Fear i could never make it on my own again. After a two month residence program and 7 months of sobriety it was time to finally spread my wings. But leading up to it was a lot of self doubt.
So its been one month in my own little place i call home......................its freaking fantastic man!!!!!!! Confidence as a human being is skyrocketing. Using all the tools i have learned, new self awareness, the brotherhood of fellow non drinkers and remembering where i have come from and were i dint want to go ever again keeps me safe. Don't forget gratitude
Your going to do just fine, you'll see. Looking forward to hearing about it
I can relate to how you feel. I didn't have my own place for 2.5 years due to addiction. My confidence was non existent and i was overrun with fear. Fear i could never make it on my own again. After a two month residence program and 7 months of sobriety it was time to finally spread my wings. But leading up to it was a lot of self doubt.
So its been one month in my own little place i call home......................its freaking fantastic man!!!!!!! Confidence as a human being is skyrocketing. Using all the tools i have learned, new self awareness, the brotherhood of fellow non drinkers and remembering where i have come from and were i dint want to go ever again keeps me safe. Don't forget gratitude
Your going to do just fine, you'll see. Looking forward to hearing about it
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Yeah - the good is as scarry as the bad...sometimes more!
it helps if i can just focus on the moment....stay where my hands are.
this will be more esh you can share with someone in the future!
Thoughts are with you.:ghug3
it helps if i can just focus on the moment....stay where my hands are.
this will be more esh you can share with someone in the future!
Thoughts are with you.:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 88
yes, isn't it strange how the good things can be so frightening? ananda....Thank you for the awesome prayer, Liberty
and thank you for reminding me...never forget the gratitude! StayinAlive...I definitely won't. I have accomplished so much, and I will never forget where I came from....
and thank you for reminding me...never forget the gratitude! StayinAlive...I definitely won't. I have accomplished so much, and I will never forget where I came from....
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Artur,
That sounds really exciting and I can understand how it seems scary to you.
But, you need to be very proud of yourself and all the work you've put into your recovery. Recovery involves change and this is going to be a big change for you, but I know you can handle it. Like with so much of life, it's hard to stay focused on the moment, but I think it will help you.
I wish you well and I hope you keep posting and let us know how it goes.
That sounds really exciting and I can understand how it seems scary to you.
But, you need to be very proud of yourself and all the work you've put into your recovery. Recovery involves change and this is going to be a big change for you, but I know you can handle it. Like with so much of life, it's hard to stay focused on the moment, but I think it will help you.
I wish you well and I hope you keep posting and let us know how it goes.
live to ride ride to live
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 1,390
I just moved out on my own this week and as scary as it was it been really good for me
. I hope everything works out for you as good as it has for me. welcome to a new chapter in recovery.
one day at a time
. I hope everything works out for you as good as it has for me. welcome to a new chapter in recovery.
one day at a time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Brooklyn, New York
Posts: 88
Thank you all so much for being a part of my recovery today....You have helped to ease a lot of this fear I am experiencing. I suppose it is a healthy fear - as it is making review some things I've learned about recovery - i.e. remembering where I came from and taking a step forward to ensure that I am not headed back there to that miserable park bench or gutter...
hugs to you all!!!
Peace, Love, and Respect,
Artur
hugs to you all!!!
Peace, Love, and Respect,
Artur
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