Update on A/D first, time in jail
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: hillsborough nj
Posts: 30
Update on A/D first, time in jail
Well it has been a week tonight Kristina has been in jail, and still is. The first 3 days she called crying, begging and pleading for us to get her out. She even said she was going to kill herself if we didn't get her out. I knew she was detoxing (evan though she swears she wasn't) and that is where the desperate crazy talk was coming from. Evan though I know she has to be there it is very hard.
I have been in touch with an excellent half way house program and trying to work with the director to see if we can get her in or rather have the court remand her there but of course there is a lot of red tape attached and so forth. Because she is 19 she. has to sign a release for me to evan talk to the jail drug counselor or for the director of the halfway house to talk to him.
I am upset because she hasn't called home for the last 4 days. I know she is OK but I have now idea what state of mind she is in. Anyway they have visiting for females there from 1-3:30 tomorrow, so I plan on seeing her then. I know it will be hard but I have to go for me.
I am scared about sentencing and so forth and only pray to god she gets into long term treatment and they don't sentence her to real jail time. I also don't want her to get out on probation because she needs long term help.
I just have to pray for strenght and take one day at a time!!.
sickathert
I have been in touch with an excellent half way house program and trying to work with the director to see if we can get her in or rather have the court remand her there but of course there is a lot of red tape attached and so forth. Because she is 19 she. has to sign a release for me to evan talk to the jail drug counselor or for the director of the halfway house to talk to him.
I am upset because she hasn't called home for the last 4 days. I know she is OK but I have now idea what state of mind she is in. Anyway they have visiting for females there from 1-3:30 tomorrow, so I plan on seeing her then. I know it will be hard but I have to go for me.
I am scared about sentencing and so forth and only pray to god she gets into long term treatment and they don't sentence her to real jail time. I also don't want her to get out on probation because she needs long term help.
I just have to pray for strenght and take one day at a time!!.
sickathert
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Do you have a Drug Court where you are?
You can search for drug courts to get more information.
Ours works with people who have either been charged with a misdemeanor or the DA is willing to plead the charges down to one.
I will graduate from a local one in April. I had already gone through rehab but I have seen some awesome results in other people through this court and heard some great stories.
I wish you peace.
You can search for drug courts to get more information.
Ours works with people who have either been charged with a misdemeanor or the DA is willing to plead the charges down to one.
I will graduate from a local one in April. I had already gone through rehab but I have seen some awesome results in other people through this court and heard some great stories.
I wish you peace.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Hackettstown, NJ
Posts: 692
I well remember the desparate, sobbing, begging phone call this past summer from my AD when she was 'kicking' in jail. God, it really tears your guts up to listen to their suffering, doesn't it? I'm also very familiar with the need for releases, legal rights and confidentiality issues, etc.
I don't know what she's in jail for (sorry, haven't been as active on this forum as I'd like to be; in the middle of my own insanity with my own kid), but if its her first time in jail, chances are usually good for being mandated to treatment and probation.
God bless you and your daughter, and have a good visit with her.
I don't know what she's in jail for (sorry, haven't been as active on this forum as I'd like to be; in the middle of my own insanity with my own kid), but if its her first time in jail, chances are usually good for being mandated to treatment and probation.
God bless you and your daughter, and have a good visit with her.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 266
It all depends on the county she is locked up in. I know out here they have drug court if it is the first offense they are normal let go on probation. Matter of fact if she knows how to work the system they could always get probation. If your daughter really wants the help then she can always plead mercy on the judge. She can tell them she wants help and this is the only way she is going to get it.
This her fight not yours. If she is not ready for treatment you are just wasting your time. I have been thru this for many years with someone very close to me.
That person has been in and out of treatment for the last 5 years. He says he is in his last rehab treatment center, but you know what I know he is not changing for himself he is changing or acting like he is changing because if he does not he is looking at 10 yrs.
This her fight not yours. If she is not ready for treatment you are just wasting your time. I have been thru this for many years with someone very close to me.
That person has been in and out of treatment for the last 5 years. He says he is in his last rehab treatment center, but you know what I know he is not changing for himself he is changing or acting like he is changing because if he does not he is looking at 10 yrs.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
Mine is actually called a mental health court. They have a mental health caseworker and I have actually met several people who this program has worked for. They follow cases closely and get people into treatment if necessary and follow up on their medication, do regular drug and alcohol testing, pill counts, etc. I started off going to court every week, reduced to once a month and eventually every two to three months. Many of the cases actually begin with people in jail. The DA was so busy in my case that I didn't get served until I was already finished with my intensive outpatient program and three months into recovery. I was very shocked but it has really turned out to be a great experience and a way to get some service work in. It has definitly allowed me to let God as I understand him to work in my life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
You are doing the right thing. This could be a pivotal point in her addiction or her recovery. Don't make it easy on her. Let her feel the full consequences of her actions. And don't panic. This is your duaghters mess. The typical progression for an addict is jails, institutions, then death (I hate to say that to you but that is what WE ADDICTS learn in recovery, so you should know it too).
If she doesn't feel the consequences of using, she won't have a reason to stay stopped when she gets out and her addiction will progress further.
Please keep reading posting and stay strong and firm in your boundaries.
If she doesn't feel the consequences of using, she won't have a reason to stay stopped when she gets out and her addiction will progress further.
Please keep reading posting and stay strong and firm in your boundaries.
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Right here somewhere
Posts: 509
dont get in between her and her bottom.
let go...let the natural course of her life take its path.....if you want her to get sober, that is.
last week my ex husband was sentenced to 30 days in jail for failing to provide medical insurance docs to me, as required. The judge let him suspend the sentence if he came thru with the docs and $750 by tomorrow. If he doesnt have the stuff, off he goes (She told him to bring a toothbrush if he didnt have the stuff).
Amazingly....the day after the hearing last week, he had a spiritual awkening that only a tough judge could bring and has been quite humble and responsbile. Attitude totally different, embracing AA and trying to make right.
Moral of the story is.....let her get in the trouble and discomfort that needs to take place so she will find her awakening.....
let go...let the natural course of her life take its path.....if you want her to get sober, that is.
last week my ex husband was sentenced to 30 days in jail for failing to provide medical insurance docs to me, as required. The judge let him suspend the sentence if he came thru with the docs and $750 by tomorrow. If he doesnt have the stuff, off he goes (She told him to bring a toothbrush if he didnt have the stuff).
Amazingly....the day after the hearing last week, he had a spiritual awkening that only a tough judge could bring and has been quite humble and responsbile. Attitude totally different, embracing AA and trying to make right.
Moral of the story is.....let her get in the trouble and discomfort that needs to take place so she will find her awakening.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Let the courts handle this one. All you need to do is take care of you and pray that she will be willing to accept whatever happens to her. The consequences are hers and so is what she does with them. Hugs and prayers for you and your daughter. Marle
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: NJ
Posts: 66
Of course this is hard, but you know the more time she has clean, the better chance she has at staying clean. The more she is forced to remember and experience her "bottom" the more likely she will want to fight to stay clean when she gets out. This is the first time in her life that she hasn't been able to control the situation and is being forced to deal with her problems in another way (aside from turning to drugs). At least you can rest easy knowing she is safe and won't be found dead from an overdose tonight.
Hang in there mom! Kristina is learning what consequences are for the first time and learning she has no control over this situation. I truly believe this was a divine intervention. Let's pray that it is her bottom and everything from here is uphill!
Hang in there mom! Kristina is learning what consequences are for the first time and learning she has no control over this situation. I truly believe this was a divine intervention. Let's pray that it is her bottom and everything from here is uphill!
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
((Sickatheart)) I am wondering how your visit went. I know I've worn your shoes a couple of times.
What I have learned is that although I can come up with some pretty good solutions, HP beats me, every time. My Higher Power is willing to take my addicted children places I won't let them go... to jail, to the streets, to rehab... places where they so quickly learn the lessons they need.
When I get involved, I stop short, soften the fall or catch them just BEFORE they have the opportunity to "get it". I am too much their protector - and not enough their teacher.
But their HP, if I don't interfere, is in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
I wish you the best.
What I have learned is that although I can come up with some pretty good solutions, HP beats me, every time. My Higher Power is willing to take my addicted children places I won't let them go... to jail, to the streets, to rehab... places where they so quickly learn the lessons they need.
When I get involved, I stop short, soften the fall or catch them just BEFORE they have the opportunity to "get it". I am too much their protector - and not enough their teacher.
But their HP, if I don't interfere, is in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
I wish you the best.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
I think I posted this on another thread a few days back, but it's worth repeating. (Of course, I didn't come up with it, so I get no credit here. 
)
Heard a guy who is on both sides of the program say that it just kills him when he sees an addict almost, so, so close to their bottom, just about to get it and then some well meaning person comes in an swoops them up.....swish..............saves them (so they think).........and destroys the addicts/alcoholics chance of finally hitting their bottom.
Don't swoop or swish, Sick.
Hugs and prayers for both of you,
Hangin' In
)Heard a guy who is on both sides of the program say that it just kills him when he sees an addict almost, so, so close to their bottom, just about to get it and then some well meaning person comes in an swoops them up.....swish..............saves them (so they think).........and destroys the addicts/alcoholics chance of finally hitting their bottom.
Don't swoop or swish, Sick.
Hugs and prayers for both of you,
Hangin' In
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