Seeking example of trusting HP
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there gns 
I used to spend my whole life trying to force things to happen the way _I_ wanted them to happen. If I was looking for work I would harass all my friends to get in me in touch with people at the company I decided I was going to work at. I would send the company "reminders" of how much I like them; cards, letters, examples of my work. I would lie awake at night trying to figure out ways to get that job, without becoming so obnoxious they hated me.
I don't do that anymore. I send out me resumes, show up for the interviews, and just keep on looking. I no longer agonize all night about the job search, I just sleep. I no longer obsess about how I'm going to convince a specific company to hire me, I use that time to keep sending out resumes to more companies.
The difference is a matter of division of labor. It is my job to work hard at sending resumes, and making a good impression at intervews. And that is it. That is the end of _my_ responsibility. _Which_ companies offer me a job, if any, is the responsibility of my HP. Not mine. I trust my HP to find me a job, among the one I have applied for.
So far, I have always wound up with a job. Not always the job I wanted. In fact, hardly ever the job I wanted. But always a job. I sleep _so_ much better, I don't stress over it, I am a much more pleasant person to be around. I am no longer trying to control things over which I have no control, such as what the hiring managers are thinking. I focus only on those things over which I _do_ have control, such as doing a good job and looking for work.
To me, trusting my HP is done by following the serenity prayer, modified to fit my character defect.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot control
The courage to control the one person I can
and the wisdom to know it's me.
Mike
I used to spend my whole life trying to force things to happen the way _I_ wanted them to happen. If I was looking for work I would harass all my friends to get in me in touch with people at the company I decided I was going to work at. I would send the company "reminders" of how much I like them; cards, letters, examples of my work. I would lie awake at night trying to figure out ways to get that job, without becoming so obnoxious they hated me.
I don't do that anymore. I send out me resumes, show up for the interviews, and just keep on looking. I no longer agonize all night about the job search, I just sleep. I no longer obsess about how I'm going to convince a specific company to hire me, I use that time to keep sending out resumes to more companies.
The difference is a matter of division of labor. It is my job to work hard at sending resumes, and making a good impression at intervews. And that is it. That is the end of _my_ responsibility. _Which_ companies offer me a job, if any, is the responsibility of my HP. Not mine. I trust my HP to find me a job, among the one I have applied for.
So far, I have always wound up with a job. Not always the job I wanted. In fact, hardly ever the job I wanted. But always a job. I sleep _so_ much better, I don't stress over it, I am a much more pleasant person to be around. I am no longer trying to control things over which I have no control, such as what the hiring managers are thinking. I focus only on those things over which I _do_ have control, such as doing a good job and looking for work.
To me, trusting my HP is done by following the serenity prayer, modified to fit my character defect.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot control
The courage to control the one person I can
and the wisdom to know it's me.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Originally Posted by gns 
I was hoping you could share examples of your HP has helped you in your life.
My 'now' ex, strangled me...I lost consciousness...(calls I made after that to a domestic violence hotline informed me that I was 'literally seconds away from death')!!!
Next thing I knew, I was in a train...it was dark inside the train, I could see nothing, and it was moving very, very fast...faster than I could possibly comprehend.
Outside of the train, the scenery was whipping by so quickly that I couldn't make anything out. Then, it all turned into a white fog, then into a bright white light...so bright it should have hurt my eyes, but it didn't!
It was so very bright that it illuminated the darkness of the 'train' that I was in. It illuminated enough that I could see someone sitting next to me. It was a man...he was Hebrew (don't ask me about my choice of words...it's just how it happened). He kind of reminded me of a Bruce Springsteen type back in the days of his 'Born to Run' song...tosseled dark wavy hair...denim jacket and pants. I was scared at first...
He then said to be..."You are not alone. I am always with you"!. Not 'you're not alone, I'm always with you, but "You are not alone. I am always with you" It was in a way I don't normally speak. I was dumbfounded, but, no longer afraid. I immediately came back to consciousness and was soooo incredibly peaceful and calm as I got up from the bed and walked around the room. The feeling of 'peace' was so overwhelming that I can't even find the right words to express it.
In that moment, that was my HP, God, letting me know, that he was with me, and, I was safe. I was saved.
I hesitate to share this because of the one or two times I've shared it with someone, they looked at me like I was nuts. I KNOW differently.
In answer to your question, my HP, my God, in that moment, was with me, and more than quite literally, saved my life!
I will never, ever, doubt the significance of the role my HP, God, has played in my life and will continue to, until my time has come to an end, and, beyond for all eternity.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
Wow, ICU! (What I really wanted to say was Holy Sh*t!)
I absolutely believe you sister. What a gift that must have been. Have you been able to sustain that peace in regular life? Does it come back in waves to comfort you? There is so much more going on around us than we can imagine, I think. Thank you for giving us the 'scientific' proof we sometimes need in all our rationalizing and denial. I'm definitely praying a lot tonight
I absolutely believe you sister. What a gift that must have been. Have you been able to sustain that peace in regular life? Does it come back in waves to comfort you? There is so much more going on around us than we can imagine, I think. Thank you for giving us the 'scientific' proof we sometimes need in all our rationalizing and denial. I'm definitely praying a lot tonight
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Originally Posted by peaceteach
Have you been able to sustain that peace in regular life? Does it come back in waves to comfort you?
I won't say that the 'peace' has sustained me because of 'my free will' (as in when I make bad choices for myself). I will say however, that when I get through a particularly hard circumstance, I do say, "thank you God", each and every time, for I know it is His will that I get through it, for whatever His reason is, and, survive. He obviously has some plan for me, no matter how much I **** it up! BUT...I am finally learning to make better choices!!!!!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
I am alive...God did it.
I could write many things that have happened in my life where the trust of the Lord has had me get through things time after time.
Ever go to a church service or a meeting and hear just what you needed to hear? There is one example.
How about waking up at 2 AM and finding out your youngest son isn't home.
I never wake up once I am asleep. A bomb could go off and I would sleep through it. I was woken up this one night. I felt lead to pray at that very moment and my prayer was...Lord protect him and keep him safe. 45 minutes later the police call...We have your son, no charges will be served on him...come and get him.
He was drunk and out on the street (17 years old) The police picked him up...put him in a safe place and called me.
Ever become concerned over a money issue? How am I going to pay this bill?
A trust that the Lord would provide. I show up at work that day...Hey we wonder if you can do overtime till we get the new guy trained?
10 weeks later...my last payment on the bill mailed out and I show up at work... The new guy learned fast, we are sending him up 2 weeks early...no more overtime is needed.
I am sober... now that is a miracle of trust.
I could write many things that have happened in my life where the trust of the Lord has had me get through things time after time.
Ever go to a church service or a meeting and hear just what you needed to hear? There is one example.
How about waking up at 2 AM and finding out your youngest son isn't home.
I never wake up once I am asleep. A bomb could go off and I would sleep through it. I was woken up this one night. I felt lead to pray at that very moment and my prayer was...Lord protect him and keep him safe. 45 minutes later the police call...We have your son, no charges will be served on him...come and get him.
He was drunk and out on the street (17 years old) The police picked him up...put him in a safe place and called me.
Ever become concerned over a money issue? How am I going to pay this bill?
A trust that the Lord would provide. I show up at work that day...Hey we wonder if you can do overtime till we get the new guy trained?
10 weeks later...my last payment on the bill mailed out and I show up at work... The new guy learned fast, we are sending him up 2 weeks early...no more overtime is needed.
I am sober... now that is a miracle of trust.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Originally Posted by best
Ever become concerned over a money issue? How am I going to pay this bill?
A trust that the Lord would provide.
A trust that the Lord would provide.
I remember in the past how I would come across some 'extra' money...thinking about how I would 'treat' myself with some non-sensical sort of trivial thing. Then of course, an emergency car repair, or vet bill would come along.
I kept thinking, just when I was getting ahead, now this happens.
WRONG!
In reality, a need was getting ready to present itself, and, I already had the means to handle it, thanks to my HP, God!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by peaceteach
Have you been able to sustain that peace in regular life?
I have serenity this very moment but there was a day that I had so much emotional pain, I was curled up in a ball on the floor.
How could I hurt so much but feel such a warmth of peace? A peace that transends all undertsnding.
As needed...I find the peace increases.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
I have had some wonderful experiences over the years, but something that happened, actually just before I found SR...was really special for me and a profound experience.
I was on the phone with a friend and in tears of frustration, talking about my struggle with AD, and I made the statement that, "If ****** *****(name of spiritual deity) was here she would know what to do"I remember saying it with such conviction.. I got off the phone and some minutes passed and all of a sudden I was aware, that I could see myself (with my inner eye) up in the night sky, I could see my outline and I was transparent..She, the deity, was there, and she telling me I was not responsible for my daughter's addiction and she showed me how I could help her.. I could see every cell in my body and every cell had the same information: love and who I was as a soul......I could see that I was perfect, and then I realize that I was seeing my soul. I saw the reason I was here, and I saw my essence, my uniqueness..
There was more but the point is I was shown in my time of deep pain that I was loved and cherished and shown how perfect I was and how perfect and unique WE all are.
I was on the phone with a friend and in tears of frustration, talking about my struggle with AD, and I made the statement that, "If ****** *****(name of spiritual deity) was here she would know what to do"I remember saying it with such conviction.. I got off the phone and some minutes passed and all of a sudden I was aware, that I could see myself (with my inner eye) up in the night sky, I could see my outline and I was transparent..She, the deity, was there, and she telling me I was not responsible for my daughter's addiction and she showed me how I could help her.. I could see every cell in my body and every cell had the same information: love and who I was as a soul......I could see that I was perfect, and then I realize that I was seeing my soul. I saw the reason I was here, and I saw my essence, my uniqueness..
There was more but the point is I was shown in my time of deep pain that I was loved and cherished and shown how perfect I was and how perfect and unique WE all are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
First an example directly relating to my decision to leave my AH. As I was contemplating leaving my AH, one of the first things I had to do was find a new place to live, an apartment, that would allow me to bring all 4 cats since I would not leave them with AH. I happened to take a friend apartment hunting. I told God that He knew I wanted to leave and that if He appoved, if I was taking the right path, would He consider letting me know? Well, the first complex I took my friend had a 2 BR coming available. I talked with the manager and explained the basics of my position. She said although officially only 2 cats were allowed, wink, wink, she could just ignore another 2. I signed the papers that day.
Now my personal experience with a miracle. When my now 18 YO was 18 months old, he had meningitis and was near death. He was totally non-responsive. We did a healing and laying on of hands with our then pastor. Within an hour, my son was sitting up in bed, laughing and asking for food. The doctors could not explain the abrupt change. I know it was God's healing power. Thinking about it still gives me chills.
Now my personal experience with a miracle. When my now 18 YO was 18 months old, he had meningitis and was near death. He was totally non-responsive. We did a healing and laying on of hands with our then pastor. Within an hour, my son was sitting up in bed, laughing and asking for food. The doctors could not explain the abrupt change. I know it was God's healing power. Thinking about it still gives me chills.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Barb, I got that tingling feeling on the back of my neck reading your post...When my child was 4 and a half, she was diagnosed with two cancers. She was the sickest kid in the hospital..They said 'take her home and enjoy her, this is when she will relapse and this is when she will die" period. I knew without any doubt, that if she and God decided that she would be here then she would be. Prayer circles , laying on of hands , alternatives and body work, supported the work God woild do.. She is twenty-four.. They just shake their heads whe they see her, the docters, I mean. I try to remember that God still has plans for her..
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
1) I've had so many close calls in my past at the hands of the worst alcoholic that ever walked this earth, that I shouldn't even be alive right now (this was my second A). 2) My AH of 19 years (my third and final A) found sobriety one year ago. If that's not enough to make me believe, then I don't know what is. I trust Him completely.
Progress Not Perfection
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: "Further up and further in!"---C.S. Lewis
Posts: 563
I trust my HP to lead my recovery. I never became an alcoholic and neither have my siblings...even though both of our parents were raging alcoholics. I have genetics and environment working against me. I thought my anger kept me sober...through alanon...I learned it was my Higher Power.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Oh... I have lots of stories and I only wish I had written them all in a journal so I could instantly recall each one. It's a wonder I still have trust issues _knowing_ all the times that God has come through for me in very personal and timely ways. Before I share I will add that we have always been people who pray and ask God for help.
My husband remained very ill for a long time despite those prayers and despite the miracle I'm sharing about now...we still have some issues we are waiting for and/or trying to accept as what is meant to be accepted. In other words....not all of my problems have been remedied by divine intervention in ways that I can detect.
Here's the one that comes to mind right now:
About a year after my husband was diagnosed with MS, he became severely disabled. I won't go into all the MS symptoms because there were so many. He was confined to a wheelchair and/or an electric scooter for almost two years. I had to lift him every single time he needed to get up, get in or out of the car, bathe etc etc. I'm a good deal smaller than he is and along with lifting him, I had to lift all the equipment too...several times a day. I never once hurt my shoulder or back.
On top of all that, he had excruciating pain in one hip and the orthopedic doctor had said he would do the replacement surgery asap but suggested some physical therapy prior to the procedure in order to strengthen the muscles and enhance his recovery from the operation.
He went to PT every day and for some reason that she can't recall, the physical therapist decided to deviate from his course of treatment. She began to get him to stand for brief periods. He walked 5-10 feet a few times while there. He had tried this many times before...he was a very athletic person before this happened and had never 'given in' to being in the chair. His body, neuroligically and in every way was just not able to balance or stand, much less walk. He often fell out of chairs, while just sitting down.
After the course of therapy was over, he began to experience some progress and walked more and more each day- to the point of needing only a walker and then just barely needing a cane. Plus....he never did need to get that hip replaced! The doctors can't explain why this miracle happened.
Thanks for this thread, it's always good to hear something positive because as I said earlier, it's 'easy' for me to forget and focus on the problem at hand.
My husband remained very ill for a long time despite those prayers and despite the miracle I'm sharing about now...we still have some issues we are waiting for and/or trying to accept as what is meant to be accepted. In other words....not all of my problems have been remedied by divine intervention in ways that I can detect.
Here's the one that comes to mind right now:
About a year after my husband was diagnosed with MS, he became severely disabled. I won't go into all the MS symptoms because there were so many. He was confined to a wheelchair and/or an electric scooter for almost two years. I had to lift him every single time he needed to get up, get in or out of the car, bathe etc etc. I'm a good deal smaller than he is and along with lifting him, I had to lift all the equipment too...several times a day. I never once hurt my shoulder or back.
On top of all that, he had excruciating pain in one hip and the orthopedic doctor had said he would do the replacement surgery asap but suggested some physical therapy prior to the procedure in order to strengthen the muscles and enhance his recovery from the operation.
He went to PT every day and for some reason that she can't recall, the physical therapist decided to deviate from his course of treatment. She began to get him to stand for brief periods. He walked 5-10 feet a few times while there. He had tried this many times before...he was a very athletic person before this happened and had never 'given in' to being in the chair. His body, neuroligically and in every way was just not able to balance or stand, much less walk. He often fell out of chairs, while just sitting down.
After the course of therapy was over, he began to experience some progress and walked more and more each day- to the point of needing only a walker and then just barely needing a cane. Plus....he never did need to get that hip replaced! The doctors can't explain why this miracle happened.
Thanks for this thread, it's always good to hear something positive because as I said earlier, it's 'easy' for me to forget and focus on the problem at hand.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Right now, the only thing I can come up with about me would be, as best said earlier.............I'm Alive!!!!....with 20+ years of hard drinking and lotsa drugs, by all accounts I shoulda been dead a long time ago.....I guess I haven't yet completed the task God has for me.....but....
I don't know how much any of you know about Lakewood Church, here in Houston, or about the Osteen's, but let me tell you a little story....:
Lakewood Church was started by Pastor John Osteen (now, gone back to be with the Lord) and his wife Dodie....well.........Dodie was diagnosed with metastatic cancer of the liver and was given only a couple of weeks to live....Dodie may be little (not quite 5 feet), but she wasn't going to go quietly into the night.....on returning from the hospital, not quite 89lbs, she decided she was NOT going to die....so with her husband, she prayed, and started gathering healing scriptures, which she taped all over the house, on the frig, on the mirror in the bathroom....etc., and she quoted these throughout the day.....even in her pain-ridden, exhausted state, she didn't give up............
There's a lot more to the story, but the main thing is........this all happened in 1981, and she's still with us today.....fiesty, prayerfull, and full of the Holy Spirit. Her son, Paul, is a surgical doctor (MD), and he says he's never seen anything like it....... (o: God just isn't finished with her yet!
NoelleR
P.S. If anyone is interested, there's a little pamphlet titled Healed of Cancer, by Dodie Osteen, available at Lakewood's website, through their bookstore .... www.lakewood.cc ... and I believe also through Amazon and it's outside sellers..... (o: it's short, but a mighty good read..... (o:
I don't know how much any of you know about Lakewood Church, here in Houston, or about the Osteen's, but let me tell you a little story....:
Lakewood Church was started by Pastor John Osteen (now, gone back to be with the Lord) and his wife Dodie....well.........Dodie was diagnosed with metastatic cancer of the liver and was given only a couple of weeks to live....Dodie may be little (not quite 5 feet), but she wasn't going to go quietly into the night.....on returning from the hospital, not quite 89lbs, she decided she was NOT going to die....so with her husband, she prayed, and started gathering healing scriptures, which she taped all over the house, on the frig, on the mirror in the bathroom....etc., and she quoted these throughout the day.....even in her pain-ridden, exhausted state, she didn't give up............
There's a lot more to the story, but the main thing is........this all happened in 1981, and she's still with us today.....fiesty, prayerfull, and full of the Holy Spirit. Her son, Paul, is a surgical doctor (MD), and he says he's never seen anything like it....... (o: God just isn't finished with her yet!
NoelleR
P.S. If anyone is interested, there's a little pamphlet titled Healed of Cancer, by Dodie Osteen, available at Lakewood's website, through their bookstore .... www.lakewood.cc ... and I believe also through Amazon and it's outside sellers..... (o: it's short, but a mighty good read..... (o:
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 444
I have a couple I can think of quickly -- but it seems like every day there is some small sign of my God's presence in my life.
Several years ago I was helping with my son's confirmation class; and learning right along with them. I decided to spend serious time daily in prayer and found myself constantly asking God what my purpose was. Every day I would pray, begging God to let me know my purpose and to make it very clear because I was afraid I wouldn't know it when I saw it. The confirmation class took a trip to visit an inner city church. The wonderful woman pastor at that church gave her sermon. During the sermon she acknowledged us as visitors and then said. "One of you in that group has been asking God what your purpose is . . . He says to tell you not to worry, you will be ready for it when it is time." It still gives me chills when I think about it -- and I don't think I am any closer to knowing my purpose, but I know that I am on the right track!
Second one -- about a year ago I knew I was very unhappy in my marriage. I didn't really know why or what to do about it. I began to pray every day for God to either show me how to be happy or show me how to get out. I prayed despartely for an answer to this. At that time I had no idea the extend of AH's drinking problem. I clearly remember the words, and I believe it was God's voice. Someone told me to "count the beer". I did, and it was the first step in a long road that is eventually going to lead to MY recovery and happiness!
Several years ago I was helping with my son's confirmation class; and learning right along with them. I decided to spend serious time daily in prayer and found myself constantly asking God what my purpose was. Every day I would pray, begging God to let me know my purpose and to make it very clear because I was afraid I wouldn't know it when I saw it. The confirmation class took a trip to visit an inner city church. The wonderful woman pastor at that church gave her sermon. During the sermon she acknowledged us as visitors and then said. "One of you in that group has been asking God what your purpose is . . . He says to tell you not to worry, you will be ready for it when it is time." It still gives me chills when I think about it -- and I don't think I am any closer to knowing my purpose, but I know that I am on the right track!
Second one -- about a year ago I knew I was very unhappy in my marriage. I didn't really know why or what to do about it. I began to pray every day for God to either show me how to be happy or show me how to get out. I prayed despartely for an answer to this. At that time I had no idea the extend of AH's drinking problem. I clearly remember the words, and I believe it was God's voice. Someone told me to "count the beer". I did, and it was the first step in a long road that is eventually going to lead to MY recovery and happiness!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by ICU
... Gosh, I hope you guys don't think I'm weirder than I actually am, but, here it goes.......
I've had my own "near death experience". Thank you for sharing yours, that took a lot of courage Mike
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