jerect

AH and I have an appointment with a therapist next wednesday. He is going for treatment for Drug abuse and I'm going so I can deal with my codependancy. This therapist specializes in drug abuse so I'm optimistic.

Financialy, I have no clue how we are going to be able to afford this, I have to meet a 500 deductable before my insurance will pay for any of our visits and then they only cover 20 visits... Grrr. But right now I don't care. I will pay out of pocket after 20 visits if I have too because if it will help me get better and help AH go into active recovery then the costs will not matter.

The first visit is going to be a joint visit because obviously his drug abuse and my codependancy is effecting our marriage. I hope that it all works out. AH acts like he really wants help and he has even told his parents that he has relapsed and he is going to counseling for his addictions.

I'm going to ask the Psychiatrist if he can prescribe me something for depression. I have been an emotional wreck for about 3 months now and I need some relief. Have any of you ever taken anti depressents and did they work for you guys.. I'm hesitent about taking any kind of medication, I don't even take asprin for a headache but I really think I need something to help me with my emotions.

greeteachday

Glad you have an appointment and sending lots of positive thoughts. Still try those meetings too...the face to face support is so amazing and it's free
Yes, i've taken antidepressants. At one point (unrelated to addiction) I stuffed emotions so bad I simply turned vegatative...major depressive episode. So by then there was no option. Working with my doctor then, as I started feeling better and stable, the dosage was decreased until I stopped...no problem. There are many antidepressants now that have few side effects and don't make one numb...just "normal." I think it is a good idea to discuss your concernss with your doctor. Hugs

BBD

Hi jerect, Sounds like your on a good path. Hope things can work out for you and your hubby. As far as antidepressants, I'm starting one tomorrow. I posted in the "Parents in Sobriety" section about this and I think I goofed in wording my post. I only got one negitive response. My reason for taking something now is to calm me down. My son is (was)) using cocaine. He has completed rehab, gone to meetings and I'm hoping on the right track. He lives in his own apartment so I don't have daily contact. I'm still anxious about his recovery hence the meds......I'm sure your Dr. will subscribe something for you to help calm the nerves. It's a tough road but it sounds like you both are doing a good job and taking the right steps. Hugs and smiles, Bonnie

BayAreaPhoenix

I don't know too much about anti-depressants. I took one for a month after my Dad died during the first holidays - I was crying so much over thanksgiving, my nephews were little, I didn't want to do it again over Xmas. My Dr. said just about Xmas time they would kick in and only gave me 1 month as he didn't want me hiding from my grief. My experience was that it worked, but be sure to pay attention to how you feel and talk to your Dr. if something doesn't feel right (I feel this strongly for any medication). Not all anti-depressants are the same and one does not work for all. The one I was perscribed did the trick through the holidays and got me thru, I just remember I felt a little flat - not bad flat, definitely above the line on the good side, but it was just a bit odd, think if I was staying on them I would have talked to him that maybe it wasn't the right one. Take care of yourself and good luck with the counseling and the meds. ((((hugs))))

jerect

See thats just it, i don't want to feel flat or numb I just want to feel like myself old self again. Part of me thinks I should just work through these emotions myself, kind of like dealing with a death because in a way it is sort of like death. That carefree, trusting part of my marriage is gone. Whats left is this shell of my former marriage filled with lies, mistrust and a husband I love but dont recognize anymore.

But on the other hand my emotions are affecting my job and my personal life. All I want to do is stay in bed with the covers over my head and forget about everything but If I do that then my husbands drug abuse wins. I WILL NOT ALLOW THAT.. I have already let it have to much control over my life already.

I just got off the phone with my Mother in Law and she has a friend that is a recovering DA and she is in charge of an alanon and AA program. She is going to have her friend call me tomorrow night and tell me more about it. Things seem to be falling into place for us. I guess now it's all up to my husband.

I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. There has to be reason that I'm/we are going through this HELL. Maybe we are supposed to help someone in the future or maybe it's just to make us stronger for another part of our journey on this road called life.

Impurrfect

(((jerect))))

The counseling sounds good and meetings are even better.

As far as the anti-d's, I have been on them a couple of times, both for less than 6 months. I strongly resisted taking them (I was a nurse and thought I should be able to handle everything and anything) but after a bit of tragedy in my family (lost my grandfather, mom, then 18-year-old stepsister within 4 years) I wasn't able to function much at all..kind of like in "auto" mode. I didn't feel numb, just normal.

There are a lot of anti-d's, and what works for one, may not work for another. I think the most important thing is to have a good relationship with your dr. so you can ask questions and tell him your concerns. I refuse to go to a dr. who will just prescribe me something, without discussing it.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy