Been gone for months...what a mess
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
Been gone for months...what a mess
Hi. I was a regular poster here for about three months back when.
My A has since moved in. I completely caved. Stopped going to Alanon. I lost all my vision. I am completely lost in his manipulative craziness. He is so manipulative. I swear to God, I think he is a sociopath.
I am too exhausted right now to write what led me to allow him back in, I will just say that I got broken. I gave up. I was so depressed, I was suicidal. I needed the actual help with my son and I just needed the company. And I couldn't bear the lies anymore. I think I felt like, if I had him in my home, I would be able to be free from the pain of all the lying. I thought the truth would be less painful than 1 million unanswered questions everyday.
I have since begun antidepressant meds. I am starting to see clearly again. I just wanted to say, Hi. I am still here, and I am reading and thank you.
My A has since moved in. I completely caved. Stopped going to Alanon. I lost all my vision. I am completely lost in his manipulative craziness. He is so manipulative. I swear to God, I think he is a sociopath.
I am too exhausted right now to write what led me to allow him back in, I will just say that I got broken. I gave up. I was so depressed, I was suicidal. I needed the actual help with my son and I just needed the company. And I couldn't bear the lies anymore. I think I felt like, if I had him in my home, I would be able to be free from the pain of all the lying. I thought the truth would be less painful than 1 million unanswered questions everyday.
I have since begun antidepressant meds. I am starting to see clearly again. I just wanted to say, Hi. I am still here, and I am reading and thank you.
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Right here somewhere
Posts: 509
Buf....
Awareness is the key to the solution. YOU ARE NOW AWARE! Hooray for you!:ghug3
Get thy arse back to al-anon...hope, help and hugs are waiting for you. You are NOT alone.....!!
Awareness is the key to the solution. YOU ARE NOW AWARE! Hooray for you!:ghug3
Get thy arse back to al-anon...hope, help and hugs are waiting for you. You are NOT alone.....!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Okay, you are living with a manipulative sociopath. By their very nature they have no choice but to manipulate; after all, sociopaths don't have a conscience to speak of.
Regardless of your motivation for moving a nutcase into your house, you did so. I'm not sure why you thought his moving in would reveal the truth rather than having him not move in and still lie to you. A lie is a lie is a lie. Where one lives, how one lives, or with whom one lives has nothing to do with lying.
Nor does his addiction.
If you are feeling suicidal over someone else's lying and addictions, or if you are feeling suicidal because you cannot forgive yourself for a bad decision, you need to get help NOW. Call 911. Go to the emergency room at the local hospital. When I hear the word "suicide" verbally or in written form, red flags start waving all over the place. Take it from a former suicide-attempter, okay?
You made a bad decision. Just as you had the power to make a bad decision, you have the power to start making good decisions. How about starting with asking him to leave?
Regardless of your motivation for moving a nutcase into your house, you did so. I'm not sure why you thought his moving in would reveal the truth rather than having him not move in and still lie to you. A lie is a lie is a lie. Where one lives, how one lives, or with whom one lives has nothing to do with lying.
Nor does his addiction.
If you are feeling suicidal over someone else's lying and addictions, or if you are feeling suicidal because you cannot forgive yourself for a bad decision, you need to get help NOW. Call 911. Go to the emergency room at the local hospital. When I hear the word "suicide" verbally or in written form, red flags start waving all over the place. Take it from a former suicide-attempter, okay?
You made a bad decision. Just as you had the power to make a bad decision, you have the power to start making good decisions. How about starting with asking him to leave?
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