h3r3w3g04g41n

I thoguht of so much to say but now the time is here and im at a loss. I find myself at a cross roads as so many of us do. I was sober for about two weeks after almost 3 years of using painkillers heavily. My girlfriend help/make me quit it was for the best and i wanted to. I have sinced started using again, she has no idea. its been a month and a half, of using again at first it was a little, but now im taking so much and not feeling anything its never been like this. I have spent so much money, all of our money, hiding money i made. i spend my last 100 on 20 narcos, took 12 last night didnt feel much woke up feeling the withdrawals, liek i have everyday this week. I dont knwo what im gonna do i cant go to work like this tomorrow. I feel a flood of emotions and an awkwardness that usually come with w/d's, it almost feels good. Im debating wether or not to try to quit again, or to continue the lies con's and manipulation of everyone i know. maybe bum some money for my "bills". theres no one i can talk to no one know the real me, i dont either im not as good person. i dont know if im at the right place for this, but i just have to get this all out. I took 3 more a while ago starting to feel it a little, so im gonna go and try and do somehting productive for the day im sure i'll be back thank you

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I do believe that if you want to live a sober, you need to do it for yourself. It's really hard work and you need to believe that this is what you want.

Have you talked to your dr about helping you to get off the drugs?

I hope you keep reading and posting.

mikel60

Hey h3,
If you did two weeks, I'd bet you can do three. I don't know much about narcos, but a little about alcohol. Try to get to some sort of support meeting. People will be able to help you through. I hope you make the right move. You are worth it.
Mike