tw33k

I've been using drugs since i was 10. I started injecting heroin when i was 16. I've been on and off it for over half my life.
I've been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and generalised anxiety. I'm on 225mg venlafaxine, 20mg olanzapine, 2mg xanax twice a day and 32mg suboxne.
This combination has worked brilliantly!! I've been clean for over 8 months and never even think about using.
I've always believed that, for me any way, my substance abuse was a form of self-medicating. I was always different to my using buddies. They'd get smashed, go on the nod etc but I'd just feel 'normal'. I had a big habit too. I was using 2-3 grams of heroin a day. It got to the point where I had plateaued and no matter how much i used, i couldn't get stoned.
Now, on my meds, particularly the suboxone, I feel terrific. I have life issues that I need to deal with and I'm learning new ways of coping with stressors, the pressures of life etc but I'm getting there.
I see a psychiatrist once a month and I'm in therapy with a pshychologist weekly. I also attend weekly GROW groups.
Dealing with our dual diagnosis can be done but needs to be looked after properly by competant professionals.
Don't give up hope.
I'm no longer offering empty promises to my family, friends, doctors or myself...I'm doing it. And if I can, anyone can.

historyteach

Thanks for sharing, tw33k!!!
It's a wonderful inspiration for so many of us.

And welcome to SR too!!!
I hope you'll become a member of our family for a long time to come.

Shalom!

tw33k

thanx....i intend to stick around. it's important to keep in touch with like minded ppl who understand each other

mxchaos

I use to mask my bipolar symptoms one slip in 6 months so I'd say my meds are working pretty well

thanks for sharing

tw33k

I'm still drinking daily. The bi-polar is under control, it's just this fu#$%^& anxiety. I have a court hearing tomorrow and i'm petrified, even tho i know nothing will happen. My lawyer will get an adjournment to gather psych reports etc, but it still makes me anxious.
It often gets so bad that i can't do anything. And if i do have an appointment etc...I have to work it out to the finest detail to ensure i make it, even tho i know i have plenty of time.
Alcohol and my meds don't mix but I do enjoy the buzz. When will I be able to live a normal life and b able to cope with day to day events like a normal person?
I'm beginning to think i'll b like this forever so may as well just get smashed everyday.
I know that sounds silly, but i really need help.
I've been taking my drs and my psychologists advice but it seems nothing is working. I only feel good when I'm wasted and i'm tired of it.