BBD

I have been trying to call my son all day and his cell has no minutes left. He buys them as needed. I can't stand the fact that he must know when he's running out and doesn't replenish it. Makes me worry that somethings up but I have to keep it together and know his HP is watching and guiding him. Thank Goodness I'm busy tonight or I'd probably be in the car checking on him. Thats a big No-No~~~~~~right??? Smiles, Bonnie

tryingtoheal

Sounds like you have a good grasp of detaching, and I think what you are doing is good. I hope you have been able to remain calm this afternoon - I know how easy it is to allow that anxiety to start escalating. How are you doing now?

sleepygoat

I hate it when my AD lets her phone run out of minutes too, which is like, all the time. But yeah, resist the urge to follow the obsession wherever it leads! Never leads anywhere but to wasted time and unmanagebility in my experience. and then I'm pissed at her for "doing this to me", when really it was myself that did it to me.

Spiritual Seeker

Bonnie, think about staying in your own stuff. You not being able to talk to him has no bearing on whether he is choosing to live safely.
He has his struggle but you have yours with letting go.
I know that struggle well.

hope213

you are doing good. it is hands off the addict.do something good for yourself & try not to worry about what he is doing or not doing. there is nothing you can do to save him.prayers,

Hangin' In

BBD,

There you go, awfulizing.........

Don't do that. Phones run out of minutes when you use them. No minutes does not necessarily mean something bad has happened.

Now go have a fun Friday night and get the focus back on you!

Hugs,
Hangin' In

bookmiser

((((((((Bonnie)))))))))

He'll contact ya, sweetie. They always do.
Your both in my prayers tonight.
Linda

marle

My daughter did not pay her cell phone bill and thus the company shut it off. She used her addict boyfriend's phone, but I don't call her on that number because I hate to hear his voice. He bought her a phone where she has to buy minutes and she lost that one. Or so the story goes. So I am used to not hearing from my daughter. Went 7 and a half months without much contact. Have gotten used to it and no longer worry when I don't hear from her. Such is the way with addicts. Worrying won't change the outcome so I have found it better to put my energy into something that I can control--me Hugs, Marle

BBD

Thank you all. Your all so supportive and wonderful. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. This has been so hard for me. I know what to do and am so afraid when the BAD happens I'll crumble. My husband is so good at detaching and we are having some problems together over this. I have to realize that my marriage could be on rocky ground here if I don't get the advice from everyone under control. I spent the night decorating a cake for a friend thats turning 60 tomorrow. We're having a party for her and I'll flip if anything happens here to mess this up. Chris has gotten minutes on his phone but isn't answering now. I left a message and that'll be that!!!!! It'll be excredrin PM for me to sleep tonight. Thanks again for all the support~~~I'm also thinking of all of you and your plights in life......hugs, Bonnie

marteen

Yes, "Hands off the Addict" and off the cell phone. Think of it as, "no news is good news!" At least, try!

I know how hard it is; I've been there many times in the past but I learned to appreciate it when I didn't hear anything. Most of the time, I was "awfulizing" and even if something did happen, there wouldn't have been anything I could do about it anyway.

His life is HIS; yours is YOURS. Take control of your life; it's all you can take control of.

Hugs,
Marteen