BANG!

It all started one day when he came home high. I know what it looks like to be high, i smoked marijuana in college.

I searched his room and it turns out him using marijuana is not the case. He has airtight ziploc bags filled with marijuana. All in all i found 7 ounces in his room. I also found a scale and little bag's around, a shoebox full of money and most disturbing of all I found a hand gun in his room.

I also suspect he could be a gang member judging by his myspace photo's and the kids he has started hanging around.

best

My house, my rules.

Gun to the police station.
Pot down the drain. Flush it.
He stops or he is out on the street.

That is how I would handle it in my house. If he is over 18...in my house, he would be on the street and everything found in his room even the money, would not be allowed to go with him.

If someone is selling out of your house... they get arrested, the courts can and do take the house. All they need say is it was bought with drug money and Poof...they take it and put you all out on the street.

jerect

I'm so sorry.. (((hugs))) I found a bag of vicodin underneath my Recovering A H's truck on Monday along with a bag of pot. He told me he was selling them but it was only a one time thing. I think he is selling just enough to pay for his fix because I have not found a lot of money hidden and those are the only drugs that I have found.

Still though I know how you feel. I'm angry beyond words, I'm hurt and I fear for his safety. I'm tempted to make my husband come read this forume to see how drugs destroy the lives of the families that love them.

Hang in there, all we can do right now is pray and continue to post here because it has been my saving grace.

Elana

His activity is illegal and you could be named an accessory if he is caught. You can lose everything. EVERYTHING, includingyour house, your bank accounts and your freedom.

Best said it.. now you need to follow through. It is tough.

Loving your kids does not include being brought down by what they do!

hope213

welcome to S.R. i have to agree with best. it is our house & our rules. if he wants to live that life you have no control over what he does. keep coming back here & work recovery for yourself. we are powerless over others but not over our homes. it is very scary living with an addict. take care of yourself. prayers for you & your son.

Impurrfect

ditto what best said. I know of a guy who was not only selling marijuana, but had an underground farm on his parent's property. Not only did HE go to jail, but so did mom and dad (they DIDN'T know about the farm, but there were marijuana seeds in the house and the law said there was no way the parents didn't know about that). They lost the farm, family business and their freedom for several years.

Please take care of you and your home.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

mooselips

BANG,
Sorry to hear about your sons activities.
I agree this has to be stopped here, and now.

Now comes the hard part for you.

Hugs,

BANG!

Hello everyone,

I will not throw his money, guns or drugs away as of yet. If they belong to his supplier, he must return them. I dont want my family in danger of drug money i flushed down the toilet.

I used to be a Latin King myself. I used to sell cocaine and i can understand somewhat of what could be going on rightnow. I do not want to involve the police. I am looking for more of a program, but not involving police in any way.

jehnifer

...for a program I would recommend NA for your son. And if he appears dependent or addicted to anything you should try detox or rehab. I sent my son to a wilderness program in Utah for 6 weeks, and then to resedential treatment/boarding school for 5 months. These are just options for you to consider. Good luck.

hello-kitty

Hi. Thanks for you post.

I'm glad you got out of the cocaine biz before it was too late for you. Lucky for you, you didn't end up desparately addicted or in prison for the rest of your life. Your son could... especially if guns are involved. Every time I went to visit my ex in prison... for dealing coke... the poster hanging on the wall really struck a cord with me... Do you know the one I'm talking about? The one that says "get caught with a gun and get 10 more years on top of your regular sentence... mandatory."

Doesn't sound like you are ignorant one bit but as a former dealer, you gotta know that getting out of the lifestyle is one heck of a lot harder than getting into it, especially if you are using your product. So don't take it too lightly, just cuz you may have some experience in the area and were blessed to get out alive. Most "highschool" marijauna dealers and kids who just "dress like" gang bangers don't need guns.

Keep posting. I hope things work out for your son and that it's not too late for him. Let us know if you find any programs. I'm sure there must be something out there. Maybe start with a call to a boot camp or something.

raerae6

Bang, for what it's worth--I will give you my two cents...

I work at a place that deals with ex-offenders (felons). We have a program that deals with juveniles, and I have spoken to a man who works in this dept. He used to deal crack and be in a gang. He asked if there is a positive male role model in your son's life. He recommended that you contact the Boys and Girls Club of America--they have programs that work specifically with youth in gangs and they have programs in all major cities.

I have seen first hand how having a felony on a person's record can impact the rest of their life--it is much harder to find employment and housing, and this is why having a felony or going to prison can do a person much more harm than good in the long run....this is why the recidivism rate is so high.


i don't know the age of your son, but I would recommend some kind of intervention as a first alternative. If this fails, or he is not receptive--then get the drugs and gun out of your house and take mnore drastic measures...PM me if you like...much luck to you...

Well, what I meant to say is to get the drugs and the gun out of the house FIRST-- and then seek help!

Lisa

BANG!

Do you know where i can find more information on the programs?

raerae6

"Targeted Outreach Strategic Approaches
In response to the number of youth gangs growing in cities and expanding to suburban and rural communities, BGCA has developed a special gang prevention and intervention initiative targeting youth ages 6 to18. Through referrals from schools, courts, law enforcement and community youth service agencies, the tested and proven Targeted Outreach program identifies and recruits delinquent youth, or those "at risk" of delinquency, into ongoing Club programs and activities. This initiative is sponsored by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, U.S. Department of Justice.
"
BGCA | Specialized Programs

To find someone in your area...BGCA | Find A Club

devastated

I agree with the others about getting the gun, money and drugs out of the house. Also agree with sitting him down and letting him know in no uncertain terms that he is jeopardizing the entire family by having this stuff in the house.

I know in California if they determine you are selling drugs from the home they can seize your home! YIPES! As much as I love my son, I would have his little butt out the door fast.

I know exactly how you feel when it comes to informing the police. You may be opening a huge bag of snakes there. However, as I said before, I would sure clean up that house fast.

I'm glad you found this stuff before it was too late.

Good luck with your decision.

Hugs, Devastated

puddinface

Bang....Anytime I found any type of drug, paraphernalia, or anything else that looked suspicious to me...I bagged it, tossed it, or flushed it immediately. I really didnt care if he got angry with me. It's my home and he was disrespecting me by leaving it laying about. I didn't want that kind of stuff in my house. I also always had the fear that his probation officer could have shown up at any given moment and they are allowed to search his room. Get rid of it!! Remember you are responsible for him.