Nikki221

I've decided to walk away and I made it through the first full day of not talking to my XABF. Last night was really hard though...not calling him before I went to sleep...not knowing if he was ok...not having him laying right beside me. I was so sad that I put one of his t-shirts on to sleep in because it smelled like him. For some reason the smell of his t-shirt was comforting to me. I'm going crazy because I really, really miss him. I know this is best for me and I'm trying to stay strong, but I'm afraid I may give in and call him soon.

Impurrfect

(((Nikki)))

It gets better with time. If you stay with an addict, the only thing you get with time is more heartache. I'm a recovering addict and left my XABF because he was still using, so I do understand, but I don't ever plan on being involved with another addict...they suck the life right out of you.

Try to distract yourself, do something for YOU, and hang in there, okay?

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

kj21

I know it is hard to be lonely. Try to keep busy, make plans, call people to do lucnh, go to a movie anything to keep busy till yuo get stronger!

Abundance

Nikki... I know how you are feeling..... I'm still fresh in my break up... but we have been breaking up constantly over the last 6 months. And now... it is the real deal. We are really broken up. Done... Finished... we are not any longer wanting to work it out!

I know what you mean about the going to sleep w/out saying "goodnight"... we used to have our tuck in calls on a nightly basis...... (we were long distance).

I look at it like this relationship is our addiction... and so we are going through the relationship withdrawals. Like the drug... when you are really ready to give it up.. you do. It is no fun... and I'm sending you good vibes!

What is working for me is having plans every day on the calendar... keeping busy...!

What I am going through right now is not getting much sleep... my schedule is totally off... and that makes it a bit more difficult. Make sure you are getting rest and looking after yourself.

Breaking up is so hard to do... and even more hard when you are used to caring so much about the person... and their well-being... he has become a fixture of your life... and to say I love you one day and to not have contact the very next.... is a freakish thing. It's only natural you are feeling the heartache..

I'm rambling now.... but my analogy with breaking up is like throwing up! I want to .. I know I'll feel better when I do it... but... I just don't want to do it... I don't want to feel that explosive feeling (even though I know it's better for me in the long run!) ....... you are still in that mode of throwing up... soon you will start to feel better... and see that this was the best decision for you.....

(Sorry that is kind of gross eh?)

CatsPajamas

It's not often I say "eeeeeew" and then "gosh that made sense" at the same time!

Thanks

Cats

VanessaLee13

Haha, I know. It was a funny/gross analogy, but did make sense!!!

One thing that helps Nikki, when you aren't feeling so strong is coming to SR, reading and posting. Or maybe go to a Naranon meeting. And as Abundance said, stay busy!

BBD

Hi nikki, My heart goes out to you hon nut your doing the best thing for your bf also. My son is a cocaine addict that is trying to kick his habit by going to meetings and trying to keep centered. In the past I have called him daily to check on him but not anymore. Alanon has helped me tremendously so maybe you can find some mettings in your area and I think that would benefit your will being.....lots of love and hang in there......Smiles, Bonnie

Omega Man

Unhealthy relationships suck the life right out of you. Years ago I broke up with a girlfriend because I couldn't stand her irrationality when she was using drugs. Low and behold, 15 yrs later, I'm an alcoholic, it's probably her fault! Just kidding LOL

Abundance, that was freakin' funny. I know we're all dealing with some tough issues, but that made me LOL. Never loose your sense of humor; that and sobriety are all some of us have left.