family
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 170
family
I do not drink. My problem is that everyone in my dads family does except for myself and my mom.
I have mentioned my concerns to grandma and she tells me to get used to it.
Some of you would probably say don't go, but christmas is the only time of the year that i get to see my dads family because my mom is very demanding.
I also have 2 cousins who live out of state and another cousin in medical school.
I realize that they will not change, but i don't want to spend christmas alone.
How do you all deal with situations where the hostess refuses to do anything alcohol free?
Any advice will be appreciated.
I have mentioned my concerns to grandma and she tells me to get used to it.
Some of you would probably say don't go, but christmas is the only time of the year that i get to see my dads family because my mom is very demanding.
I also have 2 cousins who live out of state and another cousin in medical school.
I realize that they will not change, but i don't want to spend christmas alone.
How do you all deal with situations where the hostess refuses to do anything alcohol free?
Any advice will be appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 156
Byo
hey, being a non-drinker myself because I am an A. I always make sure I have some non-alcoholic beverages with me...diet coke, h20, tea, whatever. I don't like to go to big drinkfests myself so I usually go early and leave early. I get to go and share Christmas cheer and punch out when it gets wild. I always have my own wheels. Not sure if you are spending the night but you can always get a hotel and come and go as you please. I have to set boundaries that are comfortable for me and stick to them for me because (finally) I have learned that the little voice in my gut is right and I deserve to listen to it. Enjoy your dads family, enjoy the holiday! and when you have had enough, leave.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi Katie Rose,
I have often brought my own stuff. I realize I can't keep other people from drinking, and so I just improvise. It's very rare though....is it possible your relatives don't have ANYTHING non-alcoholic? Soda? Juice? Eggnog? That seems a little rude to guests.
One year, I brought the stuff to make non-alcoholic drinks (some kind of christmassy chocolatey-minty drink) and everybody else ended up asking me to make them one too. I had to go out to the all-night store and get more stuff. It was nice, in a way. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised too, especially if you bring something very yummy for yourself.
Hugs,
GL
I have often brought my own stuff. I realize I can't keep other people from drinking, and so I just improvise. It's very rare though....is it possible your relatives don't have ANYTHING non-alcoholic? Soda? Juice? Eggnog? That seems a little rude to guests.
One year, I brought the stuff to make non-alcoholic drinks (some kind of christmassy chocolatey-minty drink) and everybody else ended up asking me to make them one too. I had to go out to the all-night store and get more stuff. It was nice, in a way. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised too, especially if you bring something very yummy for yourself.
Hugs,
GL
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Minneapolis, Mn. Minnesota Alligator Controll
Posts: 286
I guess if it were me, I'd voice my opinion to dads family.
it is your family too, and you have the right, privilage, and honor, to say something, try to be articulate, and not emotional.
You may be surprised at who else feels the same way.
it is your family too, and you have the right, privilage, and honor, to say something, try to be articulate, and not emotional.
You may be surprised at who else feels the same way.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 346
You've voiced your concern and Grandma stated the rules for her party.
I would ask grandma to have a non-alcoholic beverage for you and mom to enjoy. If not, I'd bring my own. In fact, I'd probably get together with mom and whip up a chef inspired holiday drink for all to oooh and aaahhhh over. In my view, the point of the holidays is getting together and seeing people you haven't seen. I would focus on that part of it and have readied an "escape" plan if you need it. But I absolutely would go and have tremendous fun!
I would ask grandma to have a non-alcoholic beverage for you and mom to enjoy. If not, I'd bring my own. In fact, I'd probably get together with mom and whip up a chef inspired holiday drink for all to oooh and aaahhhh over. In my view, the point of the holidays is getting together and seeing people you haven't seen. I would focus on that part of it and have readied an "escape" plan if you need it. But I absolutely would go and have tremendous fun!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Worcester
Posts: 789
It sounds like there are non-alcoholic beverages available but you would like there to be no alcohol at all. Probably never going to happen.
I'm in a similar situation every Christmas Eve with my family. I just stick with those who are non-drinkers. In your case it's your mom, in mine it's my wife.
I'm in a similar situation every Christmas Eve with my family. I just stick with those who are non-drinkers. In your case it's your mom, in mine it's my wife.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I just had a Christmas party for my husband's large family. It has always been a drinkfest in the past. But my son went through treatment a year ago and I am still a bit sensitive on the subject of alcohol. At my son's request, I did not set the party up as "no alcohol allowed". I simply didn't provide any. If some people brought their own, that was their deal.
It was the first time that there was very very little alcohol consumed. I think only one person brought some beer and that was that. We still had a great time and everyone will actually remember talking to each other and what was said! Imagine that!
You can't control the other people (particularly the host/hostess) at the party. You can control you though and that's ok. It is a real drag to be sober at a party and watch everyone else around you get progressively stranger around you as they drink. Perhaps you and your Mom could drive separately from the rest of the family so that you can exit when it gets to be too much for you?
take care of YOU! and gentle hugs to you during this time of year that can be particularly stressful.
It was the first time that there was very very little alcohol consumed. I think only one person brought some beer and that was that. We still had a great time and everyone will actually remember talking to each other and what was said! Imagine that!
You can't control the other people (particularly the host/hostess) at the party. You can control you though and that's ok. It is a real drag to be sober at a party and watch everyone else around you get progressively stranger around you as they drink. Perhaps you and your Mom could drive separately from the rest of the family so that you can exit when it gets to be too much for you?
take care of YOU! and gentle hugs to you during this time of year that can be particularly stressful.
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