aztchr

Found out tonight my sister's bf brought my dad's car back to him and said he's done with my sister. My sister and her bf have been staying in a room in someone's house with a few other people there, while my parents continue to raise her 3 year old daughter. Evidently, the guy told my dad he left the house, had all of his stuff with him, and he couldn't be with my sister anymore due to her lies and using. Sister had asked him to start selling, too.
He had enough and showed up on my parents doorstep with car keys. My dad gave him a ride to another place and my mom told him to stay away from my sister. He can't help her. None of us can unless she wants to get help for herself. She's lost and mentally unstable. She already had a dr. appt. scheduled for next week, but as we know one day at a time.

I guess the good thing to come of this is that my dad has a car back and my niece is well taken care of each day and night, although it's stressful for my parents.

Other than that, I can only pray for strength for my parents and my sister's safety. I know I can't do anything else.

raerae6

I send prayers that your sister finds her way..(((hugs, aztchr)))

Lisa

cece1960

Add my prayers (((aztchr)))

Lobo

When she gets sick and tired of being sick and tired she will change her ways.
When she loses everyone and everything she won't have anywhere to go but forward.
In her time she will stop and not before.

I have been there with my RAD so I know. It has been a long six years for her and me. Thankfully things are getting better everyday.

Blessings on you and your family......Lo

bookmiser

((((((Aztchr))))))


Sending prayers for you, your family, and your sister.
I hope she finds her way soon.
I'm glad the baby is taken good care of.
My sister is raising her 5 yo nephew because her son and his gf are
addicts and homeless.
It's such a shame when children are involved and hurt in all this.
Keep the faith.

aztchr

It's just hard to understand why after being clean for almost 4 years she would go back to it instead of getting treated for possible bipolar. She has told me in the past, she doesn't want people to think she's crazy. I guess the label of being a drug addict is better for her in her own mind.

aztchr

What do I do if she calls me? She doesn't have the car now and I'm just waiting for her phone call to pick her up or her asking for something. I guess she'll have to figure things out.

aztchr

My dad just called and told me not to answer if she calls, don't give her any money, don't go get her. It's probably best if I don't even hear her.

raerae6

it sounds like your sister has "dual diagnosis" ...mental health issues and addiction...I have a friend who has that and it is so hard to deal with. So is the stigma that unfortunatley still exists regarding mental health issues.

My friend finally went to a treatment center that deals with dual diagnosis....but he didn't follow up very well. however he is better off since he went. he is a few steps closer to being better...

I don't know , maybe this is codependent thinking, but does your sister ever think about treatment? If she is willing, if you found a place that is in-patient and treats dual diagnosis, maybe she would go?

Her is a place for some info and resources for dual diagnosis..

http://www.draonline.org/

bookmiser

Sorry. It's late and I'm tired. I just wanted to edit my post.
My sister is not raising her nephew. Duh! It's her grandson.
My great-nephew.
I'm so glad I got that straight. Now I can go to bed and rest easy.
lol
Take care,

p.s.

my son is being treated for bi-polar and depression. alot of addicts self medicate with
illegal drugs. kinda goes hand in hand. stay strong, sweetie.
detach as much as you can. be good to yourself.

sleepygoat

This could be a blessing in disguise to help her surrender and get willing again. If she calls, see if she's willing to go into treatment (there are hospitals that specialize in dual-diagnosis addicts). Hopefully when she is ready, a bed will also be available.

Ann

I think it's wise to keep a list of "alternative" choices for them. A list of detox's, shelters, rehabs and a meeting list may help them make a better choice.

We are NOT the only choice or last resort for them, we are not even close to being the best thing that ever happened to them. There are other choices when they are ready to make them.

Hugs

Impurrfect

(((aztchr))))

I'm a bit late, but sending prayers and hoping your sister finds her way to recovery.

A lot of A's relapse because they get confident with their clean time and think they can use again "responsibly". It never works and the addiction comes back with a vengance (sp?). Some have to try it again and again before they realize it won't work. I'm hoping my 1 relapse will be my last. You reminded me, today, to not take my recovery for granted by your sister's story - thank you!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

duet_4-8

:praying

aztchr

Well, my sister called my parents and they are picking her up tomorrow.
There's more to the story, but too much to write. Most of you know the story anyway. She's pawned everything valuable she took with her, the bf left her, she called out of state friends for money, they said no, there was too much drama with the other addicts, etc. so she called home. She has a dr. appt scheduled and hopefully can get that moved up quickly.

I can't get sucked back into everything with her or with my parents. Not sure which is more difficult sometimes!

I need an extra dose of detachment!! May I borrow some of your strength?

TrishaV

I really can't offer you any advice, just prayers because i too am being pulled like the old stretch Armstrong guy. This is the hardest time of the year to think of a loved one out on the streets with no-where to go. I refuse to back down, if being stuck out on the streets during Christmas isn't the lowest of lows that may help her hit home..I am not sure what it.

Best of luck and be strong!!

Jwife22

I'm praying too.

aztchr

She came back for one day/night. Ended up walking out of my parents house about a half hour before my niece was to be picked up from pre-school.
Mom said my sister was going to go find the bf. My mom wouldn't drive her because she was going to pick up my niece so my sister took off walking.

I didn't have any expectations when my sister arrived because I know what addicts do. I also am turning things over each day/night and letting go with love.

My focus is on the peace and joy I want in my life! I found more of that tonight when decorating the tree with my niece. She was so proud of putting on the ornaments and said it was the most beautiful tree she had ever seen. She's 3 1/2 and just the light of my life. We'll be making gingerbread cookies this weekend.

Without some of the sorrows, I wouldn't really know the true joys and the best are seen through the eyes of a child.

lostparent

Hope your sister finds help soon.. but until then your niece is lucky to have you an your parents.