Step 10
Step 10 
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
I need Step 10 to keep me aware of my defects of character, as well as to help me be free of the wreckage I can cause today. The 10th Step helps me to solve problems or situations in my life, and as the literature states, “prevent their recurrence.” The point of this step is for me to be willing to take a good look at my thoughts, behavior and values, then work on what I need to change.
For me, This step is also about practice. I practice checking my ideas, my attitude and my behaviors on a daily basis so that I can keep what has worked for me thus far. Through daily practice, looking at me (and the part I play) begins to become second-nature and is done without much (if any) consideration.
It is suggested that in the beginning we can do a written inventory by listing what we’ve done wrong, or the harm we’ve caused others. It is also important that in doing a personal inventory we also take note of our assets because it is through this awareness we are allowed to see our growth. A personal or daily inventory is much like doing a 4th and 5th Step, but focusing only on today. As we get better (with practice), writing the inventory may not be necessary. For starters, doing NA's IP#9 is also recommended.
Prior to coming into recovery, I was hardly ever able to admit I was wrong about anything. But today I’m able to draw on the humility gained through working the previous 9 steps in order to get honest about the wrongs I’ve done – especially on a day-to-day basis. Awareness, self-honesty, humility, open-mindedness and willingness are essential for me to “promptly admit” my wrongdoing. And the hit for me is to simply admit my wrongs, not attempt to explain, rationalize or justify them. This also takes practice.
Step 10 is about forming a new habit of self-appraisal, and as our literature states, “We need to develop self-discipline: the more effort we put into doing so, the more we’ll find that working the Tenth Step will become as natural as breathing.”
Self-discipline, self-appraisal, and self-awareness are all fairly new concepts for me, even with almost 5 years clean. Yet, it’s through practicing these principles that I am better able to tell others “I’m sorry,” when I’ve done them wrong. I need to continue to practice Step 10 in order to maintain my recovery and keep my house in order.
(reprinted from the NA newsletter, "Inside The Rooms" - January, 2004)
For me, This step is also about practice. I practice checking my ideas, my attitude and my behaviors on a daily basis so that I can keep what has worked for me thus far. Through daily practice, looking at me (and the part I play) begins to become second-nature and is done without much (if any) consideration.
It is suggested that in the beginning we can do a written inventory by listing what we’ve done wrong, or the harm we’ve caused others. It is also important that in doing a personal inventory we also take note of our assets because it is through this awareness we are allowed to see our growth. A personal or daily inventory is much like doing a 4th and 5th Step, but focusing only on today. As we get better (with practice), writing the inventory may not be necessary. For starters, doing NA's IP#9 is also recommended.
Prior to coming into recovery, I was hardly ever able to admit I was wrong about anything. But today I’m able to draw on the humility gained through working the previous 9 steps in order to get honest about the wrongs I’ve done – especially on a day-to-day basis. Awareness, self-honesty, humility, open-mindedness and willingness are essential for me to “promptly admit” my wrongdoing. And the hit for me is to simply admit my wrongs, not attempt to explain, rationalize or justify them. This also takes practice.
Step 10 is about forming a new habit of self-appraisal, and as our literature states, “We need to develop self-discipline: the more effort we put into doing so, the more we’ll find that working the Tenth Step will become as natural as breathing.”
Self-discipline, self-appraisal, and self-awareness are all fairly new concepts for me, even with almost 5 years clean. Yet, it’s through practicing these principles that I am better able to tell others “I’m sorry,” when I’ve done them wrong. I need to continue to practice Step 10 in order to maintain my recovery and keep my house in order.
(reprinted from the NA newsletter, "Inside The Rooms" - January, 2004)
Rebecca
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 9
I am starting step 10 and am wondering every day how I may have missed something that needs to be paid attention to.
It is for this reason that I start my step 10. I also add to my gratitude list to help remind me of all that I have and could have taken away if I don't take an inventory of myself nightly.
It is for this reason that I start my step 10. I also add to my gratitude list to help remind me of all that I have and could have taken away if I don't take an inventory of myself nightly.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
becca,
Welcome to SR. I visited your profile and see your sobriety date is April 18th 2009. This tells me you have been clean for 17 days. I don't know for how long you used drugs. Please consider this length of time clean you may not have a good understanding of steps 1 through 10 just yet.
I have not yet met anyone who's landed a sponsor and completed 10 steps in two weeks and has a good understanding of those steps.
I used drugs and alcohol for many years and it made total sense to me to find out it may take a while to thoroughly work the steps.
Do you attend meetings?
Do you have a sponsor?
Peace,
Missy
Welcome to SR. I visited your profile and see your sobriety date is April 18th 2009. This tells me you have been clean for 17 days. I don't know for how long you used drugs. Please consider this length of time clean you may not have a good understanding of steps 1 through 10 just yet.
I have not yet met anyone who's landed a sponsor and completed 10 steps in two weeks and has a good understanding of those steps.
I used drugs and alcohol for many years and it made total sense to me to find out it may take a while to thoroughly work the steps.
Do you attend meetings?
Do you have a sponsor?
Peace,
Missy
Rebecca
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 9
Missy,
I must tell you that I have been in AA/N/A and C/A since May 27, 2008. I had started to work the steps then. Yes, I relapsed, but I am aware of and try to follow the steps to the best of my ability. I agree that having only 18 days clean is a problem with working the steps. I have gone back to steps 1,2 and 3.
Thank you so much for the words of wisdom. Hope to talk with you again,
Becky
I must tell you that I have been in AA/N/A and C/A since May 27, 2008. I had started to work the steps then. Yes, I relapsed, but I am aware of and try to follow the steps to the best of my ability. I agree that having only 18 days clean is a problem with working the steps. I have gone back to steps 1,2 and 3.
Thank you so much for the words of wisdom. Hope to talk with you again,
Becky
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
Becky,
I found I could stay clean when I stopped using and chose one fellowship best suited for me, attended it's meetings regularly, got a sponsor and worked through the steps one at a time, in order.
That is not to say I didn't attend another fellowships meetings when others were not available during certain needed times as a supplement.
Do you attend meetings regularly?
Do you have a sponsor?
Peace,
Missy
I found I could stay clean when I stopped using and chose one fellowship best suited for me, attended it's meetings regularly, got a sponsor and worked through the steps one at a time, in order.
That is not to say I didn't attend another fellowships meetings when others were not available during certain needed times as a supplement.
Do you attend meetings regularly?
Do you have a sponsor?
Peace,
Missy
Rebecca
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 9
Yes, Missy, I have a sponsor and I attend 3 to 4 meetings a week. I had a horrible desire to use yesterday, as the person who I used with called me last night to see if "I would like to watch a baseball game" with him.
I called my sponsor right away and called another person who is in the NA fellowship with me.
Thanks for your advise and encouragement. Let's talk again,
Becky:praying
I called my sponsor right away and called another person who is in the NA fellowship with me.
Thanks for your advise and encouragement. Let's talk again,
Becky:praying
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
My sponsor suggested I choose a tenth-step partner. Says it needed to be someone who has done tenth step work. Someone willing to take my calls on a daily basis to discuss my tenth step work. She explained this person can help me see if I'm making something out of nothing or failing to see my part. Someone to listen and give feedback.
Since we cannot do this alone it's a good opportunity to build a close or closer relationship with someone in the fellowship.
I chose her.
grateful for my sponsor,
Missy
Since we cannot do this alone it's a good opportunity to build a close or closer relationship with someone in the fellowship.
I chose her.
grateful for my sponsor,
Missy
Certified NA Counselor
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Newport Beach Ca., US
Posts: 458
This is the Tenth Step questionnaire I wrote for my friends and sponsees a long time ago. The assignment was to either have this list handy or memorize it, then when difficulty or adversity arises, do a "spot check" inventory. This required passing through the list and paying attention to the most glaring issue on the list - addressing it, then a personal reassessment.
If unease still persisted, pass through the list again and take the next most pressing issue and resolve it. Personally, I've never had to consciously pass through more than twice to maintain a perfectly clean day.
Some of you current with NA literature may notice some familiarity in this. However there is one major difference, that is there are no "today"s in this list. This list was created intentionally WITHOUT the insertion of "today" in every question. Reason being is that many of the topics that showed up in our literature with the "today" by it would leave us wiggle room if it were an issue from our past, yesterday, last week, or years ago that we only now either recognize or are willing to address.
I knew that line in the book that said "the emphasis is on today." However how we feel today is often a result of our actions from long ago.
So I often suggest to those interested, anywhere in NA's Tenth Step literature that questions arise that limit the scope of the question to "today" ... just black out "today" and open yourself to whatever part of your history God would have you work on ... today.
Good luck and God bless
andyaddict
Los Angeles
If unease still persisted, pass through the list again and take the next most pressing issue and resolve it. Personally, I've never had to consciously pass through more than twice to maintain a perfectly clean day.
10TH STEP INVENTORY
This is my wide awake,
Well rested, bright eyed,
Bushy tailed so take it at night
And have a good morning step.
1. Have I been resentful?
2. Have I been selfish?
3. Have I been dishonest?
4. Have I been afraid?
5. Do I owe an apology / amend?
6. Have I been setting myself up?
7. Have I been kind and loving toward all?
8. Is there anything I could have done better?
9. Have I done anything that I wish I had not done?
10. Have I left anything undone that I wish I had done?
11. Have I been worrying about yesterday or tomorrow?
12. Did I allow myself to become obsessed by anything?
13. Have I been too hungry, angry, lonely, tired or serious?
14. Do I suffer from any physical, mental or spiritual problems?
15. Have I done anything to cause harm to myself or to another?
16. Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another?
17. What have I done to be of service to God and the people around me?
18. Has god given me anything to be grateful for?
This is my wide awake,
Well rested, bright eyed,
Bushy tailed so take it at night
And have a good morning step.
1. Have I been resentful?
2. Have I been selfish?
3. Have I been dishonest?
4. Have I been afraid?
5. Do I owe an apology / amend?
6. Have I been setting myself up?
7. Have I been kind and loving toward all?
8. Is there anything I could have done better?
9. Have I done anything that I wish I had not done?
10. Have I left anything undone that I wish I had done?
11. Have I been worrying about yesterday or tomorrow?
12. Did I allow myself to become obsessed by anything?
13. Have I been too hungry, angry, lonely, tired or serious?
14. Do I suffer from any physical, mental or spiritual problems?
15. Have I done anything to cause harm to myself or to another?
16. Have I kept something to myself which should be discussed with another?
17. What have I done to be of service to God and the people around me?
18. Has god given me anything to be grateful for?
I knew that line in the book that said "the emphasis is on today." However how we feel today is often a result of our actions from long ago.
So I often suggest to those interested, anywhere in NA's Tenth Step literature that questions arise that limit the scope of the question to "today" ... just black out "today" and open yourself to whatever part of your history God would have you work on ... today.
Good luck and God bless
andyaddict
Los Angeles
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
thanks andy
Since really getting serious about the tenth step I have learned exactly what you are talking about. I don't always know I'm wrong until later...sometimes much later.
The list is much like the "Living the Program" IP and I do see your point about taking the emphesis off "today"
Even though the basic idea is to look at ourselves daily...it may be one day next week I get real with something I did or didn't do this week, yesterday or last week!
Grateful,
Missy
Since really getting serious about the tenth step I have learned exactly what you are talking about. I don't always know I'm wrong until later...sometimes much later.
The list is much like the "Living the Program" IP and I do see your point about taking the emphesis off "today"
Even though the basic idea is to look at ourselves daily...it may be one day next week I get real with something I did or didn't do this week, yesterday or last week!
Grateful,
Missy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
Yes andy...I have a SWG and use it 
It was there that I read (for the second time...it's also in the other texts) I can look at the "Living The Program" IP for working the tenth step, as many have done.
It was there that I read (for the second time...it's also in the other texts) I can look at the "Living The Program" IP for working the tenth step, as many have done.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
yes page 100 of SWG is the inventory questions suggested. And on page 95 it suggests looking at the IP#9 living the program.
and in the 5th edition basic text on pages 41 and 42 it has these types of questions.
and in the 5th edition basic text on pages 41 and 42 it has these types of questions.
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