youngirish

Hi everyone,

I need some tips for this weekend! Its my best friend's birthday. They're all heavy drinkers. I have no desire to drink, but it's not Saturday yet and have no idea what my mind is going to be saying to me when mostly everyone else is. I designated myself as the DD. Everyone's going to my friends house, playing some games, and "pre-tanking". I know theres going to be at least one other person there who doesnt drink. The problem is I'm DDing to a bar. I'm scared sh******. I hate being in bars soberly, get anxious with all the people around. I've only been sober just over a month. Is this a rediculous situation to be putting myself in? Should I just abruptly cancel? I do not want to wake up Sunday morning hating myself!!! I've gone to social things at people's houses and don't have problems turning down booze (not yet anyway) but haven't been to a bar. I dont' want this to be a sitting in the barbers chair too long type of situation. Anyway, what have your experiences been with this? I'm thinking I might just "come down with a flu" but would feel guilty as I'm supposed to be driving people.

Alive

I can't tell you what to do..but i can tell you that whatever decision you make i hope it's based on your well being, for that is one of the most important things in recovery and in life....

hug, Karim

gypsytears

Do what's best for you and your sobriety. Personally I would not go. I would not have been comfortable in the situation so early in recovery. I wish you well whatever you decide.

Hope that flu clears up quickly *hint hint*.

parentrecovers

put your sobriety first and don't go if you are uncomfortable. that's my two cents..

support to you, whatever you decide - k

TorontoGuy28

Yup, don't go.

You perhaps just start feeling ill ? There are many excuses you can make not to go.... I know, it's not easy, but sobriety MUST come first.

Anna

I wouldn't go if I were you.

I went to a friendly get-together early in my sobriety and I didn't drink that night. But, I was crazy with anxiety and the next day, I went out and bought wine. I never did that again. I couldn't be in that situation in early sobriety.

RK2007

Pull out of it m8 if you don't feel up to it - your first responsibility is to your health and if you go you might drink - I know I would be sorely tempted at a friends birthday party (oh what the hell, it's only this once, somebody's birthday, etc, etc)...

Don't go to the party!!!

Rowan

Not worth the risk, irish. Eventually you won't have to sit all parties out, but early in recovery, one must be vigilant. A nice night in with a couple of chick flicks and some popcorn might be in order instead?

dave47

Alarm bells are going off Irish, as others have said it sounds too risky.

Dee74

I'm a great one for roadtesting sobriety...but at one month ? a bar ? heavy drinkers ? and you don't sound sure yourself...

think about this very carefully Irish.

D

youngirish

Thanks for the replies everyone. I believe I'm starting to feel feverish :-) I know it was a bad idea but part of me was still thinking that I should go and test out the will power, lol. But, then the other part of me is picturing waking up Sunday morning having had a blackout and wanting to end it all. So, all ur replies have shut the first voice up as you're in agreement with reason. I'll be at home soberly nursing the flu.

stone

Good call.

Dee_Sober4today

Awesome!!!

Dee74

Nothing wrong with testing out sobriety Irish...but if you don't make sure you're ready ? yeah...it can be a pretty dark Sunday morning

Been there, done that. Again and Again and Again...LOL

D

TorontoGuy28

Good call !

I've missed a lot of parties and get togethers.... My true friends are still around, and instead, I see them over lunch during work week..

gypsytears

I'm glad you're coming down with something Irish . I was a bit worried for you had you planned on going. I'm happy you're sick!

caitlin666

glad your not going irish..

i was invited to my uncles 60th birthday party today (and i come from one of those huge irish families)

i politely declined, and told my aunt i was sorry, to wish him my best

but i wasnt ready

she said she was very proud of me

TorontoGuy28

One thing that I recall is always "worrying" what others would think when I decide not to go.... It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. I needed to do what's best for ME first. True friends will understand, I found that only people with their own drinking problem would pressure me to go etc..

LauraSFO1

Good for you- you have to take care of yourself!

Anodyne

Awesome choice Way to go.
I'm happy for you, and inspired by your good choice.
If one person can make smart, healthy choices, so indeed can I.

Hope you get over that flu quickly haha