obsessed

Well, she's back and all ready I am broke!! Yesterday when I left for work I had 7.00 for gas to make it till Friday and you guessed it I gave her 5 of it and now wondering how I am gonna make it to work and home today and get there tomorrow....last night on the way home the digitial thing in my car said 0 miles to empty and I got up crying but I know it is my fault!! My grandmother gave her 10 and with my 5 that gave her 15....I asked her last night if she had any money left she said no but she said I have the new cosmo in the car!! I wanted to scream so I got up this morning looking for a gas can to which I could not find so had to call my uncle to ask if he would drop one off. I thought I would get her to take me to work and pick me up but am kinda worried that she might not pick me up... I am sure she would but still a little nervous about it so I don't have a clue on what to do next. She said she was going back to the boyfriends house this weekend, I suppose I will be expected to pay for the gas but I just don't have it. I really hate to say it but things go much smoother when she is not here. I feel really guilty for even feeling that way and wish I did not feel that way!!:praying

sgrass

i am new to this site never talked on the net my son will take from me and leave me high and dry. he just moved out two days ago because he chose drugs and friends over his family. i dont know if i did the right thing i question everything sorry this isn't help with your comment i just need to start talking please someone anyone tell me what to do i cant eat or sleep i am LOST

lightquest

I wish I could give you a ride to work!

Of course things go more smoothly when she's not around! She's an addict and she pulls you into her chaotic world. You don't have to feel guilty about that! It's simply the truth. You have a right to feel however you are feeling.

I can't imagine the heartache of a parent whose child suffers addiction. My addict is my boyfriend of almost 4 years. He uses cocaine. He would take the breathe right out of my lungs if it would get him some coke. I feel sad that the addiction makes him so selfish, even when he is not actively using. He doesn't have any idea how much he takes (or tries to take).

Now that your daughter is back in your life, it's the time that you can learn to take care of yourself first. There are many parents here who will be along with good advice.

HUGS
Molly

P.S. Let the boyfriend come and get her!

Lobo

To both of you.........Welcome. I too have been in the dark places that you are in right now. Until we learn to not put up with what our loved ones are doing to us and theirselves nothing will ever change. It took me a very long tme to learn this and believe me I continue to learn everyday. My 26 yr. old daughter was the addict in my life. I say was because she started using drugs when she was 20 after her father died. She is clean and doing well today. It took her a long time to get where she is today. It took me a long time to get where I am today. We have been through so much together. I was on a mission to save my daughter at any costs. In the process I was losing myself. I lost financially and emotionally. I finally said I can't do this anymore. I started to let go. I no longer gave her money, cars, cell phones, clothes. etc. The only thing I was always willing to provide was medication and food. She could no longer live in my house and be on drugs. If she did I would call the police on her in a heartbeat. I won't pay for fines or bail out of jail. Whatever happens will happen. She did end up in jail and lost everything. I did not help her. That's when she finally changed things. She wanted recovery. She knew that only she could help herself. She knew I wasn't going to do it anymore.

I even stopped my begging prayers to God. I asked God to keep her safe and keep me strong. My heart was broken more than words can express. I was killing her by trying to save her and not letting her do for herself. It took me a long time to let go but only when I did things changed. Not right away.....but little by little.

Wht I am trying to say is.......you can't change anything but yourself. I never stopped loving her and supporting her in her recovery efforts. I only stopped letting myself put her above me and continue to let her walk all over me. I let her come to the realization that I matter and deserve to be loved and respected. I will never again accept anything less for myself. She once again values me as her mother and I am once again proud to call her my daughter.

Prayers and strength for both of you moms............Lo

caileesnana

"I was on a mission to save my daughter at any costs"

Me too! The more nothing changes, nothing changes! Welcome and keep readying, posting, there is hope and caring here.
susan
:praying

mooselips

obsessed,
Hugs to you.
You have to realize your own importance, here.
Are you scared of her? Are you scared she will assault you if you tell her "NO"?

If you don't have the money to give, you can't very well give it.
She sounds like she is using you for all your worth, and until you stop that behavior of constantly giving her what she wants, her behavior will continue.

Get to meetings, and start setting up some boundaries of what you can accept, and what you can't.

If she should threaten you, call 911.

Hugs,