has anyone ever been depressed while their addict was in rehab.
remember to breathe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
has anyone ever been depressed while their addict was in rehab.
You would think I'd be jumping for joy that my AS is in rehab for a month. but instead I can't stop crying. If I sit and think about why I'm depressed I can come up with reasons it MIGHT be but it's so not like me to be like this. I was the one who was so calm cool and collected when he OD'd and had to give him CPR.
Has anyone felt like this when your addict was in a "good" place?
Is it my codie behavior that I feel lacking? Am I already worried he won't stay clean this time? I have told him he has to find a halfway house or the likes, do you think I could be depressed because I know he won't be here (for me to save!?) Man just when I think things are looking up I fall into this funk.
:wtf2
Has anyone felt like this when your addict was in a "good" place?
Is it my codie behavior that I feel lacking? Am I already worried he won't stay clean this time? I have told him he has to find a halfway house or the likes, do you think I could be depressed because I know he won't be here (for me to save!?) Man just when I think things are looking up I fall into this funk.
:wtf2
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
we all got have different emotions. it is like a roller coaster. you probley have so much hope for him & then u think he will leave. that is probley what is going on. try to let go. it will be what it is going to be. look at it this way, this could be his miracle.hugs & prayers, hope
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Girlfriend get yourself out of funky-town.
Quit the worry...it only creats stress and has you livin' in the future.
What are you gonna do to have a wonderful weekend? Put the focus on you own
life. Get your own groove on. (you can tell I am a child of the 60s )
Quit the worry...it only creats stress and has you livin' in the future.
What are you gonna do to have a wonderful weekend? Put the focus on you own
life. Get your own groove on. (you can tell I am a child of the 60s )
krhea75
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
hey there,
I can soooo relate! As a mom, we can handle the biggies of life. We know we have to step in and do. But when they are gone and there is nothing left for us to step in and do, we feel helpless. Yes, I think it is a codie thing, but it's also normal. You have been through a trauma, and you need time to heal. So start taking walks, praying, reading, going to movies, talking to friends, whatever it takes to get your mind off of him. It is not selfish. It is survival. So when he needs you again, you will come at it from a place of rest and peace. Hugs from one mom to another.
krhea
I can soooo relate! As a mom, we can handle the biggies of life. We know we have to step in and do. But when they are gone and there is nothing left for us to step in and do, we feel helpless. Yes, I think it is a codie thing, but it's also normal. You have been through a trauma, and you need time to heal. So start taking walks, praying, reading, going to movies, talking to friends, whatever it takes to get your mind off of him. It is not selfish. It is survival. So when he needs you again, you will come at it from a place of rest and peace. Hugs from one mom to another.
krhea
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
There are days when i could have written your post (in fact I have posted my own variation)
Altho i am always grateful for the second chance my RAS was given I still have days that i grieve for the life he gave away...
his exit from my house was such chaos (unlike the calm way his brothers left for marriage or careers) and I guess it will take awhile before those memories fade (if they ever do) and of course the everpresent knowledge that relapse is possible makes it hard to exhale...
all that you are feeling is understandable
love and prayers from mom to mom
Altho i am always grateful for the second chance my RAS was given I still have days that i grieve for the life he gave away...
his exit from my house was such chaos (unlike the calm way his brothers left for marriage or careers) and I guess it will take awhile before those memories fade (if they ever do) and of course the everpresent knowledge that relapse is possible makes it hard to exhale...
all that you are feeling is understandable
love and prayers from mom to mom
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Rashue -
No experience with this, but sending you lots of hugs.
I am wondering if this is something similar to what I went through when I got clean. I was so USED to stress, chaos, and turmoil, that I really didn't know what to do. I felt like "is this all there is?". It took me time (and lots of prayers) to get over being depressed. I had to stop focusing on what had happened, all the bad I had done, and start paying attention to every little thing I had to be grateful for, and start doing thing just for me (still not good at that). I think my body and mind was so used to the stress, it took a while for my mind to readjust.
Just a thought
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
No experience with this, but sending you lots of hugs.
I am wondering if this is something similar to what I went through when I got clean. I was so USED to stress, chaos, and turmoil, that I really didn't know what to do. I felt like "is this all there is?". It took me time (and lots of prayers) to get over being depressed. I had to stop focusing on what had happened, all the bad I had done, and start paying attention to every little thing I had to be grateful for, and start doing thing just for me (still not good at that). I think my body and mind was so used to the stress, it took a while for my mind to readjust.
Just a thought
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
remember to breathe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
thanks everyone, I knew I was never alone in the addiction stuff but I really thought I was crazy for feeling this way, so at least I know that my crazy=codie lol:mock
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
I too remain very calm through the very stressful times. Then when it is over I usually fall apart. It is something I know of myself for a long time. I am always the "rock" for everyone else when diaster hits. Then later when I am by myself is when I let it all out. That is my make-up and I have learned to just expect it. Maybe it is the same for you. I give myself 24 hours to get over it; most of the time it is gone before that.
Hugs to you. You have been through a lot lately. Try to enjoy this time that should be peaceful
Hugs to you. You have been through a lot lately. Try to enjoy this time that should be peaceful
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Rahsue,
I think they call it PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder. It's after the fact. I suffer from it myself. We have been thrown into a life of constant stress, worry and chaos. We do what we can at the time we are in it and we do it well. When we get a time out we feel like we are in limbo because we almost don't know how to live any other way. We end up feeling like the addict without the drug. We have to learn once again to live the good life. I'm sure you have been told this before by the earthlings. They say "I admire your strength...how do you do it...I could never handle what you are handling". Well, you do have admirable strength, but after it is over we crash and rightfully so. Our minds and bodies can only take so much. Now with that being said it is your body telling you it is time to kick back and take care of you and do whatever it is to make you feel good.
It is all about you now, girl. Put the focus on yourself. If it is only to curl up under a blanket that is okay too.
If you have a big blanket I bet a lot of other mom's would like to join you.
Luv......Lo
I think they call it PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder. It's after the fact. I suffer from it myself. We have been thrown into a life of constant stress, worry and chaos. We do what we can at the time we are in it and we do it well. When we get a time out we feel like we are in limbo because we almost don't know how to live any other way. We end up feeling like the addict without the drug. We have to learn once again to live the good life. I'm sure you have been told this before by the earthlings. They say "I admire your strength...how do you do it...I could never handle what you are handling". Well, you do have admirable strength, but after it is over we crash and rightfully so. Our minds and bodies can only take so much. Now with that being said it is your body telling you it is time to kick back and take care of you and do whatever it is to make you feel good.
It is all about you now, girl. Put the focus on yourself. If it is only to curl up under a blanket that is okay too.
If you have a big blanket I bet a lot of other mom's would like to join you.
Luv......Lo
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
rahsue, I agree with Lobo. I do believe that we suffer from PTSD. Especially since you were there when your son OD'd. Let him take care of his stuff and you take care of you. You can't be of any good to him if you don't take care of his mom. Hugs, Marle
remember to breathe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
:ghug3
sheez,,, does that ever make sense!!! thank you so much for this one. I believe you are describing me to a "T". well after I get done babysitting! maybe I'll start a book I've been meanning to read and I won't let anyone interupt me. or maybe I'll take a ride tomorrow to see whats left of the foliage on the turnpike. (I live in the city there is vertually no foliage.)
thanks once again my best friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally Posted by Lobo 
Rahsue,
I think they call it PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder. It's after the fact. I suffer from it myself. We have been thrown into a life of constant stress, worry and chaos. We do what we can at the time we are in it and we do it well. When we get a time out we feel like we are in limbo because we almost don't know how to live any other way. We end up feeling like the addict without the drug. We have to learn once again to live the good life. I'm sure you have been told this before by the earthlings. They say "I admire your strength...how do you do it...I could never handle what you are handling". Well, you do have admirable strength, but after it is over we crash and rightfully so. Our minds and bodies can only take so much. Now with that being said it is your body telling you it is time to kick back and take care of you and do whatever it is to make you feel good.
It is all about you now, girl. Put the focus on yourself. If it is only to curl up under a blanket that is okay too.
If you have a big blanket I bet a lot of other mom's would like to join you.
Luv......Lo
I think they call it PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder. It's after the fact. I suffer from it myself. We have been thrown into a life of constant stress, worry and chaos. We do what we can at the time we are in it and we do it well. When we get a time out we feel like we are in limbo because we almost don't know how to live any other way. We end up feeling like the addict without the drug. We have to learn once again to live the good life. I'm sure you have been told this before by the earthlings. They say "I admire your strength...how do you do it...I could never handle what you are handling". Well, you do have admirable strength, but after it is over we crash and rightfully so. Our minds and bodies can only take so much. Now with that being said it is your body telling you it is time to kick back and take care of you and do whatever it is to make you feel good.
It is all about you now, girl. Put the focus on yourself. If it is only to curl up under a blanket that is okay too.
If you have a big blanket I bet a lot of other mom's would like to join you.
Luv......Lo
sheez,,, does that ever make sense!!! thank you so much for this one. I believe you are describing me to a "T". well after I get done babysitting! maybe I'll start a book I've been meanning to read and I won't let anyone interupt me. or maybe I'll take a ride tomorrow to see whats left of the foliage on the turnpike. (I live in the city there is vertually no foliage.)
thanks once again my best friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm agreeing with Lobo also, I know that even today I have problems sometimes that seem to be a symptom of PTSD. I had night terrors for years.
I think that we have been so busy looking after them, keeping ourselves prepared for the next crisis and taking care of what no mother should ever have to take care of...that we have no time or energy to even give thought to how WE are feeling.
My thoughts are to just take it easy right now, maybe go to some meetings to get support for you, and just give your body and mind time to heal and find peace.
Hugs
I think that we have been so busy looking after them, keeping ourselves prepared for the next crisis and taking care of what no mother should ever have to take care of...that we have no time or energy to even give thought to how WE are feeling.
My thoughts are to just take it easy right now, maybe go to some meetings to get support for you, and just give your body and mind time to heal and find peace.
Hugs
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