nytepassion

You know when I was with my husband the bills piled up and no matter how much I worked to try and pay them off there were new bills constantly coming in.. he had gotten us into debt and He was working, but I was working to get us out and all the while he is creating more bills - never seemed to have money to pay any of them, but he was always in pocket with drugs. Yep, he always had his meth, pot, beer and a pack of cigs (seemed to always be able to afford the bar) We got evicted out of a couple places because he used the rent money for drugs and made arrangements to cover the rent, broke the arrangements and then got all crazy with the landlord.

Over the years I had to sell meaningful belongings, juggle bill collectors, deal with landlords, smooth over neighbors, calm and assure family members that everything was going to be okay. We moved here, there and everywhere trying to get away from drugs, but he found them anyway .. he broke windows, doors, was loud, embarrassing and the list goes on.

I thought "WE" had problems .. I ended up thinking I was the problem - if I would only this or that or not this or that then it would all be okay .. he would be okay -

I tried to fix the problems and they only got worse.

After much time, effort and energy with no progress .. everywhere we went the problems would follow and more problems would arise. Didn't matter how many times we picked up and moved to a new city, state, area .... and I always ended up miserable with the way things were.

Then it dawned on me one day while speaking to a friend. My husband had been bindging and acting all crazy. (we had just moved yet again) been there less than a week .. hubby was looped and had walked down to the liquor store to buy a beer and I guess had to pee .. and did so in public - cops saw him - ticketed him for indecent exposure and a concealed weapon (a knife they took from him) anyhow .. he comes in all loaded and belligerent saying those cops don't know who there messing with, blah blah . blah blah blah .. my friend didn't know all the semantics of what was going on and ask whats the problem?

I was in-love with a drug addict - that was it in a nutshell

My husband had a problem "addiction" the addiction was in him

It was at that moment I realized my addicted/alcoholic husband was in turn the problem and that the reason problems always followed me is because I was constantly bringing him, "the problem" with me.

It was a moment of clarity for me.

That day a seed was planted - it took 4 years or watering, turning the soil, watering and nurturing it, but it took root and grew

After him leaving me no other alternative .. I ended up leaving him and all his problems behind.

I took a few of them with me "the problems", but none I couldn't handle and I noticed things got better instead of worse as did I

{The problems in the addiction}
(The addictions in the husband/wife)
along with the addiction comes addicted behavior
The problems only build up, repeat themselves or worsen
(UNLESS AND UNTIL THEY SEEK RECOVERY)


Remember: No matter where ever they go .. there they are

Passion

cinderellawkids

Thanks Nyte, this is where Im at today and a great reminder to me. My AH is in another state working and not using at this point. Im here far away with my life, he is calling and creating constant turmoil and then saying im the turmoil. I know when I end the calls all together, he will run out of excuses to feel as he does and soon realize wherever he goes he is still there

Godsgirl

Thanks again Nyte for letting me know what addicts do....after all the craziness last weekend ...lets me know again I'm not crazy.