lionsfan

Ok, some weeks a might drink 3 times and then other weeks 1 time and then maybe not for 2 weeks straight but when i do drink i drink alot.My wife doesnt drink and my neighbors all drink so they will come over and we just sit and drink on the deck.I drink when me and my buddies golf also.My wife wants me to quit but i dont see it as a problem i dont drink around her or my kids,its always at the neighbors house and in the evening so when i come home to bed its 1 am and there sleeping.Sorry if this doesnt make sense but she wants me to quit and im trying to see what to do.thanks just confused.

CarolD

Hi and Welcome to SR!

Here's the deal...
your drinking is upsetting your wife.
That makes it a problem in your life.

Why not quit for 30 days and see
how that helps your situation?

Blessings to you and your family

Anna

Hi lionsfan,

Welcome!

If you believe alcohol is causing problems in your life, then it's a problem. Your wife believes it's a problem in your lives and she wants you to stop. But, you need to want to stop for yourself because it takes a lot of motivation.

Take a look around and keep reading.

Justme57

Hi lionsfan,

I have come to believe that a person who does NOT have a problem with Alcohol, does not even consider the fact that they drink, and nor do their family and friends.

If it is causing concern......... it is a problem. Carol's idea is a beauty ! Give it up for 30 days , see how you go.

HUGX
Leigh

Pipes Mcgee

One of the questions on the "Ask yourself" 20 question questionaire for alcoholism is "Does drinking hurt loved ones in any way?" Another is "Does drinking cause problems in your life?" A third one is "Has your drinking caused you to question 'your drinking' ?" I think that whether or not you're an alcoholic, your drinking has caused problems in your life AND is harming your family life. Maybe you should ponder this thought......If drinking wasnt really a problem for you, you probably wouldnt be looking for a second opinion beyond your own wifes. Your wife is part of your life. A big part. That 'big part' doesnt like your drinking, YOU when your drinking, the time it takes away from your family time (three days a week is excessive), and probably the fact that you are coming home drunk at 1am after they have gone to bed. And,...really,.......be honest.....how often do you really go two or three weeks without drinking like you mentioned?

Pipes Mcgee

This is good food for thought.....

Normal drinkers often dont "Google" ALCOHOLISM

they have no need to.

Pipes Mcgee

Also, one of the most common traits alcoholics share is "minimizing". 3 beers is actually 8. Drinking until midnight really means until 4am. We tend to "tidy up" our stories to please our audiences. The problem with that is, we wont get an honest opinion or answer because they wont be opinions or answers based upon honesty. In your post, in a mere three sentences, you managed to contradict yourself. You said that your neighbors come over to your house to drink out on the deck. Then you say that you dont drink in front your wife and your kids......that its "always at your neigbors". Which is it? At your house or at your neighbors? Keep in mind,...maybe your wife would like to see her husband those three or four days a week you're drinking. Maybe your kids would, too. You have kids, a house, bills to pay, a job, and a wife who doesnt drink. Everything about that would suggest a non-drinking lifestyle. I mean, if you are not an alcoholic, then you would think that you would pick NOT to drink since your wife doesnt. A Non-alcoholic could take it or leave it. Your non-drinking wife doesnt like your drinking or what it does to you but you still dont want to stop. I mean, doesnt that tell you something?

tanyapmc

LOve the idea of not drinking for 30 days and see how it goes. Non-problem drinkers would not have a problem doing that.

I am glad that your here and hope you keep posting.

shemp

I agree give it 30 days without a drink and see how it is. My experince has taught me the person who cant admit they have a problem have a problem. If you cant do it for you then please do it for your kids.