embraced2000

today, i went to the goodwill store for shopping....love, love, love those thrift shops.

i had me an armful of clothes and this skinny little woman walked up to me and said......are you t____ ex wife? i responded yes......and she said.....you really are a big fat cow! i was so amused and burst out laughing.....i said...surely you are mistaken for i am an oprah winfrey body style woman, and she is beautiful.

she is the current, soon to be ex, from my xh.

she was scratchin the ground like a little chicken....just spittin mad.

i said, honey, there's no sense for hositility.....it's not like your fighting for a prize, and i understand and forgive your hurt.

man, she was skinnnnnnneyyyyyyy!!!!! she kept saying....i'm a size four. i said, dear, i'm a size 16 and neither one of us could get him sober....so what does that have to do with anything????

she started crying, saying how much she loved him and how he had really screwed her over and all.

i told her i was sorry she was hurting, and suggested she go to al-anon, then said....now if you will excuse me, i need to go to the volumputuous womens section and try to find more clothes.

i alternated between wanting to squash her like a bug, hexing her to get fat, and loving her, because i know how she is feeling.

a big fat cow?????!!!!!! i really, really wanted to squash her.

Astro

Damn, you must have some seriously high serenity levels!

That's one of the great gifts of recovery for me. I don't have to react like I used to when I drank Well, it works most of the time;-)

embraced2000

i'm not THAT healthy yet, astro.....i really wanted to squash her like the size 4 bug she was!!!!! lol

but it just so happens that i feel really good about how i look.....and after seeing her, i wouldn't want to be a size four. she looked sickly and spidery......her thighs were about 4 inches apart at her crotch......like a clothes hanger.


ewwwwww, now i'm sounding hateful, eh? damn that size 4 bug!!!! lol

i was looking hot, too.....at least for a big fat cow.

damn, i think i'm getting mad.

Buffalo66

I am also, at times running into women who think badly of me due to the ex. I just hold my head high, and detach from them, too.

I am sorry she verbally berated you like that! Then, again, I have done some crazy things ,too, while dealing with my A.

It is weird to have such a conflict of feelings for someone you dont know directly, but there is a bond of the hell you both must have glimpsed through life with him.

embraced2000

buffalo.....that is why i felt some love for her......because i know the hell she had lived with him.....for i had lived it too.

and she thinks we are back together. so that is probably why she berated me like that. she was pretty brave come to think of it.....cause i really COULD have whooped her.

Astro

Can't say I'm too wild about the anorexic look myself.

Squash away!

embraced2000

i'm 5'9" and she was about 5'., if even that.......i felt like a giant standing next to her. so easy to squash.

but ya know what??? i also felt badly for her. she is going through what i went through with his falling off the edge of the world and leaving her without any answers.

ah well.....maybe in my dreams tonight i can squash away.

MsGolightly

that was my first reaction. i mean, you have to be really insecure to say something that horrible to someone you don't even know. i tend to feel sorry for people that have to put other people down in order to make themselves feel better... it says a lot more about them than it does about you.

i hope you found lots of clothes!

embraced2000

ya know, i was always a tall kid in a short family. they would always make comments about my size....and it was always about a COW!!!!!

when she said what she did, it really took me back there.

it was like she had a direct psychic line to my memories. which i know is ridiculous.

and i did feel badly for her....i know she lived what i lived.....and she is where i was at one time. a part of me wanted to bundle her up and take care of her.

but my recovery side said, "just get away from her. be kind, but leave. it's not worth it."

and yes, i found lots of clothes! and so cheap. i love cheap. but good cheap. you know what i mean? got lots of good bargains.

ICU

You're a much better woman than I Jeri! I probably would have run out of the store crying. Then much later I would have gotten angry. Years later, I'd still be stewing about the injustice of it all, LOL!

But between you and me, if I had pms, I would have skipped the crying part and smothered her in the clothes, LOL!

You handled it beautifully. I'm very impressed!!

embraced2000

"i would have run out of the store crying"

but i looked sooooo much better than her!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha

honestly, i did.

skinny little coat hanger woman she is.

i think i will destroy her in my dreams tonight.

WantsOut

She sounds like an infant. Next she's going to call you a big doodyhead lol

MsGolightly

and i'm sure you have way more going for you on the inside than she'll ever have on the outside.

you're an inspiration, jeri, you really are!

Mr. Christian

Not nice.

I think I would have picked her up and tossed her....

brdlvr

What a healthy, strong woman you are! Way to go for taking the high road - but I sure as hell wouldnt' have been able to to do that. She probably was shocked by your non-reaction. Sounds like she was implying that he should be sober because (in her mind), she was a hot little thing. Doesn't sound like she was that at all. Good description!

Brdlvr

embraced2000

said in a whiney voice......"marilyn monroe was a size 16!!!!"

i'll toast her like an ant and eat her in my dreams tonight. they say they taste just like crunchy chicken. won't be so bad.

what in the hell is a size 4 anyway???? does anyone really wear a size 4 except high schoolers?

yes, i agree, brdlvr, she WAS implying that she was a hottie size 4.....so why would he come running back to ME!?

btw....she had no boobies at all.....i have a beautiful cleavage! so there! and it was showing today, too. in all their glory. they even had a hint of sparkle dust on them. very tastefully done, btw......very subtle.

honestly, the more i think of it, the funnier it gets. but i will still roast her like an ant and crunch her into zerodom tonight in my dreams.

nahhhh....not really. i'm going to ask god to give me good dreams tonight.

size 4. geeeeezzzzz. what IS that?????

i think this is really buggin me out.

hmbld

You go girl!

WantsOut

She yaps about being a size four because she believes that being a skinny "piece of ass" is her worth in this world. Pathetic.

CE Girl

I woulda told her I was a size 2 when I first met him,,he,he,he

And a 20 when I left him,,,

So i must be just about recovered,,,

You know, this to me, is where the "balance" comes in. Ya, I'm a codie and I work the program, but hey, I'm also human, and can get ANGRY when someone disrespects me. I woulda kicked her arse, verbally of course. After all, I'm a simple native hippie chick,,

Peace AND love

DesertEyes

ah Jeri, you are a wonderful, caring, deep-hearted woman

There's a saying in the 12 step programs when refering to a person who's been going to meetings for a long, long time... but has not learned much. We say that it's not the _length_ of recovery that matters, but the _depth_ of recovery.

That's true about _anything_. It's not the _length_ of the tape measure that matters in judging a person, it's the _depth_ of their heart.

Jeri, your _heart_ is a size 16, and that makes you a real treasure.

BTW, a little secret I don't share too often is that I used to be a photographer back in L.A., and now I live in Vegas, so I've seen _all_ kinds of ladies, of all sizes, colors and depths of heart.

Heart wins. Always. You showed kindness to another human being in pain, even though she tried to hurt you. Now _that_ is heart in abundance.

You're at the top of my list, Jeri

Mike