nowheretogo

My DH has been asking how much money we have left till the next pay check so that he can ration what he has left so he doesnt feel sick till we can get our subutex rx filled. I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF> this is a big step for me. I kept telling him we had a small amount left when really I got some money and I was holding onto it for me and in case of REAL emergencies.
Today he found out that I had that money. I forgot to mail in a payment for our cell phones and they got shut off this morning. So I am going on my break from work to pay the bill. He asked me where I was getting the money from and when I told him I had some- he tried to confront me saying I was hiding money from him--well yea! who wouldnt. If we have the money he is eager to spend it. I started to get upset- i think more hurt that it has come to this (the fact that I HAVE to hide money). I asked him if he wants to stop...he wants to stop-and i think he sees that i am done with this bs.


i am just done. i have been through enough in my life and addiction (especially someone elses) is not going to be what breaks me!

i love him but not his addiction.

He is gonna be maaaaad But i feel confident in the new me.

catecicc

good for you! I know how you feel. It stinks that you have to in a way "play games" but sometimes you do what it takes to make it. I am in my own game playing mode as well. You did what you needed to and deserve a pat on the back for that.

I like you're analogy too..."I love him but not his addiction".

havehope

Good for you! Be proud that you are trying to protect yourself, (and your money). I am proud of you taking a stand for yourself.
I think you will find that the more you do it, the easier it gets!

Give yourself a hand and a pat on the back!
Terri

rahsue

good for you
it feels good when your strength comes visiting doesn't it

BigSis

Stay strong. Each one of those actions we take for US because they are the right and responsible thing to do...each one of those things builds onto the next..... One day ... we just aren't doing the same things we used to do. Then we are in recovery.

It is an amazing process.


((hugs))

Ann

No matter how they say it, no matter how they take the news....taking care of us is about US and not to punish them. Keeping our money safe is just that, because active addicts steal.

You go girl!!! You're doing just fine.

Hugs

nowheretogo

Thanks all!

I feel like I as a person has control- not the addiction, which could make irratic turns every second of the day.

I;m the boss :P