Lightenup

God, I know I sound needy, but it is what it is. I am in middle of getting daughter back to school into apartment, and that is not working easily, school is getting ready to start for youngest with ADD and have to set up counseling, hubby working round the clock on wrap up of 2-year project, and I am also waiting on a call from a counselor at son's rehab, job starts tomorrow and I am FROZEN.

I want to make sure that his counselor 'gets it' that we definitely don't think our home is place to be. He has three short weeks to put a plan in place, and our son's next person on list yesterday was his drug dealer................no kidding.

I was advised to let the counselor know that our home is not going to be an option if that is what we think, and short of having an addiction specialist, a daily drug check, daily AA meeting, his own transportation, a job waiting for him, HE CAN'T BE HERE.............it won't work for him or us and isn't good for him or us. If he can't see it, then I have to be one to point it out and let him work on his feeling about it while he's there.

I feel so damn alone, know I have to do some action things in order to sit back and let other things happen.

Is there anyone who can talk?

Please, if you can, PM me, and I'll check in a bit to see and can give my number.

Do I sound desperate, lol. I'm not frantic, just frazzled

Bets

parentrecovers

tell the counselor that he cannot come home at this time and see if they can help your son find a halfway house instead. 3 weeks is plenty of time, so don't panic..

blessings, k

caileesnana

I sent you a PM. Agree w/ parent 100%. read my posts and you'll understand why!

ladyamalthea

I am not in your exact spot, but I can tell you that I wish my parents had put their foot down when my sister wanted to go home... even if ras slipped up then, at least my parents wouldn't have to be right on top of her when it happened, making it harder on everyone involved...

The counselor will probably tell your son that coming home is a bad idea anyway, because most professionals in this field feel that it is better for them to be as independent as possible... but it definitely helps for you to go ahead and tell the counselor that you feel this way.

*hugs and prayers*

teke

hey light, i agree with parent too, a halfway house sounds like a good idea. i also agree that your son has plenty of time to deal with his attitude about his after care. keeping you and yours in my prayers

marle

Bets, I think that it would be a lot easier now if you say no to coming home, then it would be to let him back in and have to kick him out. This way he is in a rehab that will help him get set up in a halfway house or some other type of sober living. You just take care of the things you can and leave the addiction up to the specialists. Give your son back the responsibility for his life and his addiction. He really does have to grow up sometime and now is the perfect opportunity for him to start on his way. Hugs, Marle

parentrecovers

we've allowed our daughter to come home twice in this past year of treatment and recovery. it does not work! k

caileesnana

Once again, agree w/ parent. Over the last 4 years, I can't count the times we've let her come back. But this time even broke her dad (he sat on the couch and cried yesterday). NEVER AGAIN--it doesn't work.
susan

Lightenup

Hey, guys, I've been working my mouth off with the new job You know the tv commercials with all the 800 numbers? Well, I'm now one of those people who offer you every upgrade to your product you could ever want or not want!! So far, most of the people calling have been pretty cool, although "Jessica Simpson" did call me this morning, too funny....not and then a guy called me a name. I guess early morning is for the whacko calls, and I don't even sign up to work after 8 at night, forget it.

My son called me Monday morning. He immediately apologized for his behavior, said he was tired and was very sorry for the way he acted. He had had some time to cool down (and I'm sure someone talked to him, too.......I also put in a call to his counselor, who never called back, but I think must have talked to him), and he has asked me for his birth certificate to get an ID. The recovery people will take him to get an ID, as he would need one for a halfway house. The house they recommended is in our town, so we could see him, so move over, Bets, and let God guide him............................I simply told him that because I do love him so much, I am willing to step aside and let him build himself up if he can do it, and I truly think he "heard" me this time.

Love you all
Gotta go answer about 1,000 calls

Bets

hope213

it sounds as if your sonmay be coming to his senses. i sure hope so. a half way house sounds like the best option to me. drug dealers??? saying a prayer for you all.