classysista

sat night...

so here i am

how can i say i love this (Addict) .. love is not this sick..

love doenst loss sleep because we are to tired to stay up and babysit the addict...

love doesnt compromise its values and belifes for the sake of a sick relationship....

love doesnt pretned that they can handle this because they just dont want to be alone

love doesnt break up with the addict NINE times in only six months because "they just love them so much"

love doesnt tell the addict "i dont know how to break up with you, so i need u to break up with me to end this" addicts reply "i will never break up with you"...

love doesnt neglect its heath and it s saftey and peace for the sake a of a man who may be cute .. fine even but his heath is fading and we are not seeing the man we started with alothough we are prentending we are..


love doesnt sit and let the addict tell them how wrong they are for not just sticking with them and being patient and seeing how far they came even though he is s till smokine he isnt doing it nearly as much as he use to..


love doesnt sit and listen to him say WEED really isnt bad.... and start to go through histroy books and sillyness to justify the smokin of it ..


so how do i start to love myself....

becasue this isnt love ...

dollydo

Meetings helped me regain my self-esteem. Also, with a better understanding of the disease, I learned to love myself first

classysista

i have started to go to meetings which is part of the reason im am so drainned the more truth i hear the harder it is to just stay

dollydo

I do understand, truth can be very confusing and alarming. Yet, for me, the more I learned the stronger I became, I had the tools to make the right decisions for me.

It's kinda like a dog who chases a car, the dog catches the car, now what does the dog do with it?

Wascally Wabbit

This is so true. They got to have you in their miserable life, draggin you into their misery because you're stable and they are not.

I read a story that went something like this: (I have tried to recall it from memory, but if anyone knows this story, email it to us!!)

Its a beautiful day and you're in a boat paddling along the river, seeking serenity. Up comes another person paddling their boat. You paddle side by side for a while when all of a sudden,he jumps out of his boat, and starts kicking and splashing and is nearly drowning. His boat was badly damaged when he jumped out, and is floating towards a huge rock.
You toss out a life jacket and invite him into your boat.
You tell him you will fix his boat
With both damaged boats repaired, you both paddle along side by side again.

Soon, he falls out of his boat again, and damages his boat.

He crawls into your boat, but soon, the weight of the him makes the boat tip over, damaging your boat.
You manage to get back in, only to find him splashing around, nearly drowning again, begging you to let him back in the boat.

You make the repairs to your boat, then throw out another life jacket and he crawls back in the boat, but this time, he's frightened and angry.

So, you and him paddle along for a while and all of a sudden, he stops paddling with you, stands up, and stomps his foot till there is a hole in your boat, then he jumps out of the boat into the water, knowing he can't swim!

Now your boat has a huge hole, you're in the water too, and you're trying to repair your boat. He is struggling in the water, unable to swim and once again, drowning. You feel responsible for him now, So, even though you don’t' have a safe boat any more, you swim out to him and hold on to him and try to swim him to shore. Only you can't see the shoreline.

You think for a minute and realize you must get back to your boat and make the necessary repairs on your own boat before you can save him again.

But, you see your boat floating towards that huge rock too.

You manage to get to your boat just in time and repair it.

Then you swim out to help the drowning man. He gets into your boat as you float nearer and nearer to the rock and to his boat that you had repaired, but his boat has crashed into the rock.

You're paddling with all your might to avoid the rock, but he is too exhausted to help you. So you paddle alone, and you're getting very tired from all the hard work you've had to do. You're so tired you can't paddle any more.

Then you crash into the rock.
And your boat is damaged again. You can see his boat too. Badly damaged, but able to float!
So you insist he gets into his own badly damaged boat and fix it himself.
You must now fix your own boat again.

He doesn't make any repairs on his own boat. He asks you to repair his boat for him, but now, you can't help him because you have your own repairs to work on.
You insist he stay in his own boat and make his own repairs.
With all the damage to both boats, you offer to paddle along side him while he and you try to make it to shore.

You're both paddling in your own boats. Your boat has had repairs, but it's much more difficult to control. His is very damaged and he is having trouble. You can just now begin to see the shore line!
But, he is having so much trouble steering his boat that he runs his boat right into the side of yours causing an irreparable gaping hole. Both of you are now in the water.
His boat is still afloat, but badly damaged. The water is now pouring into your boat faster than you can repair it.

You float in the water, and look at him slashing around in the water. You decide that if you are going to live through this you will have to swim to shore. You hardly have any energy left, and, you can't swim with him on your back. So, you get him to his own boat, and tell him to fix his own boat, or he will drown!

You can not repair your boat. It is irreparable, so you decide that you must leave him behind to repair his own boat. If you don't you will surely die out there.
Then with all the strength that's left in you, you swim to the safety of the shore.
Praying to God with every stroke, you then make it to shore, out of breath, and collapse on the sand. You thank God for getting you back to shore.

After a long rest, you feel like your old self again. You go out to the shore and find another boat. Its a nice new boat.
You get in it and once again, you start paddling as you merrily float down a beautiful river seeking serenity...