classysista

man oh man do i sound like a broken recored or what ... i broke up with my weed head bf again tonight. lets see what number break up is this .. who cares im hoping its the last one..
im alil sad and hurt and i actually wonder if i did the right thing? because i miss him..

well i know thats normal to miss.
it was funny today he said "well you didint ask me if i smoked yesterday so i didnt tell you" then i said do i have to ask you every day like your a two year old? Did you smoke today? ... as if asking if he was two years old did you pee your pants today..

keep me in your prayers i know i know i know i cant stay with him but i miss him even though i ended things tonight i pray God keeps him away from me and that he gives me the strength to not keep picking it up again and again
thank God i have my first al anon meeting tomorrow..

best

If I don't walk into the package store I am less likely to buy things from that store.
Pray that God keep him away from you? I know that God will give you the strength to do things for yourself.... You keep him away from you. It is over...hold your boundary. If he calls...the answer is..I said no more and the call is over...or you can listen to his sales pitch and get pulled in again and again.

Your choice and God will give you the strength to see it through.

classysista

lol yea i can get pulled in and waste money again... man.. i thank God for this though last night i was in a powerful prayer meeting of PRAYING women i sat in the middle of a prayer circle and it was hard at first but i told them my story of being in love with a addict and not being able to walk away THEY WENT TO PRAYER FOR ME IN THAT CIRICLE THEY INTERSSED and then TODAY ONE DAY LATER God gave me that strength to once again and once and for all end it THERE IS POWER IN PRAYER AND WHEN we are not strong enough God will send us others to LIFT US UP IN PRAYER WOW THE POWER OF THAT PRAYER

ladyamalthea

*hugs*

I know how tough that was. Just think though... now you can begin your healing, which will only make you stronger when it comes to detaching from him.

Even if you do care about him, you cannot help him by staying with him. There is nothing you can do for him but help yourself so that whatever needs to happen for him to feel the need to recover can happen, if that makes sense... and if his rock bottom would have hit even with you there, then you certainly would not have wanted to be around for that, right?

All I'm saying is that when you start to give in to him, just remember why you left him in the first place.

*sending prayers your way*

marle

Your comment to him about being a two year old is right on. Notice how a two year old gets a sense of glee by playing games with us. Well he sounds exactly the same way. Think about this the next time he calls. An addict is stuck emotionally at the age when he first begins using. So say that you are both 30 but he started using when he was 14. Would you date a 14 year old. He may be in a man's body but he is still a little boy emotionally. Don't worry, I think that even if you slip a little, you will get there. Hugs, Marle

classysista

WOW I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT that make so much sense. your RIGHT HE started using when he was like 13.. and on the fourth of july we were sittingo outside with his lil cousin and i had to ask my self who is the child here. he was braging to his two cousing `12- and 10 about all the trouble he use to get into when was lil.. WHAT A ROLE MODLE i finally had enough and had to get up and leave the porch WOW THANKS FOR THAT PENNY FOR MY THOUGHT IT IS GOIN INTO MY PERMENT MEMOREY

parentrecovers

let us know how your meeting goes! alanon really helps me. blessings, k

krhea75

Good for you, girl! be strong, you deserve to be loved and treated with respect. Makethat your mantra.
krhea

Wascally Wabbit

Hello my classy friend.
I know it hurts. It hurts because we want to believe them. We want to have them.
It's hard to see through the pain, but the big reality is, if I take him back, I must also take all of his weed smoking too.
It comes down to what we allow in our life. Where is our boundary line.
Will we allow anyone to cross that boundary.
You know the truth about him. You know he is manipulating you so he can keep you coming back. All addicts need someone to manipulate.
The truth sets us free classy. Free from having to be manipulated any more.
You are such a strong person classy. I am inspired by you. Stay strong and God will surely bless you for it, even if you don't see it right now.
Here is a verse that helped me see that if I stayed, what I was going to be.
2 Tim Chap 3 vs 1-6
This reminds me that I don't want to fall into the trap and become a silly woman and be led away because I didn't stick to my boundaries and let in someone bad who influenced my life in a bad way.