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As Threatened To Kill Me

Old 07-09-2007, 01:39 PM
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As Threatened To Kill Me

Who Would Have Thought A Child You Raised In A Decent Home Would Threaten Your Life. I Informed As That Since He Broke His Boundary About Contacting 15yo Agf, Hes 20 And Currently Has Two Charges Pending Of Domestic Violence And Contributing To A Minor Because Of That I Was Cutting His Phone Off. He Still Has Two Weeks Paid In An Oxford House To Try To Get A Job And I Would Be Sending No More Money. He Went Into His Usual Rage And Told Me That I Was Making Him Go To Jail Today Because He Was Going To Kill Me. I Told Him If I Saw Him Then, I Would Call 911. The Only People In The World Trying To Help Him, And He Still Contacts Her And Threatens Me, What A Life.
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Old 07-09-2007, 01:42 PM
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it is heartbreaking, isn't it? you've done more than a lot of parents would do, laketime. your son is lucky to have you. blessings, k
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Old 07-09-2007, 01:44 PM
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laketime,
My heart goes out to you. We do all we can for our children and we are the ones who end up getting hurt. Sending prayers to you. Stay strong.
Hugs coming your way
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Old 07-09-2007, 01:46 PM
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for what it's worth I am not surprised...

Now you are going to have to play hard ball or tough love unless you decide to give into him and do what he wants you to do.

If you decide to do what he wants realize that it will drag you in deeper and he will be looking to you more and more. The only one who can stop your enabling is you The only one who can make him stop using is him.
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Old 07-09-2007, 01:49 PM
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I guess now it's time to be angry and play hard ball. What a shame. I feel for you and your wife. He's not getting his way, so he's lashing out. I guess it's no more Mr. Nice Guy. I think you've done all you could. Good luck to you and Mrs. Lake.
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Old 07-09-2007, 01:51 PM
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It's sad that the children we raise turn against us, very sad...

Keep your chin up and stick to your guns...you need to be strong for yourself.
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:05 PM
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Lake,

When dealing with my loved ones that are A's, I try really hard to think about what would I try to suggest to someone else if they came to me with the same situation - If I told you my AH was threaten to kill me, what would you suggest I do? Probably protect myself right? Please try to do the same for yourself and Mrs. Lake.

I know you love your son, but we have no way of knowing how far the disease will take them - We all have the right to live without fear and without threats of violence.

Rita
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:12 PM
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((((laketime)))) i am so sorry our addicts do what they do.stay safe & do whatever you have to. my heart goes out to you as my prayers are going up.
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:13 PM
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I'm sorry Lake...our addict kids lash out in the cruelist of ways.
If it helps, I had to remind myself on many occassions:
What they do (and say) is NOT who they are. Its the addiction talking

Also, many times when I asked my HP for guidance, it came in strange forms.
Anger is a good motivator for us to begin detaching.
Wishing you peace
((((Hugs)))
Cece
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:28 PM
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When you say no, you get the venom. Been there with my AD. Whether or not he means it is another story. It is time to consider him the enemy and do what you need to do to protect yourself. Stay safe. Marle
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:35 PM
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i'm sorry too lake, i do agree with the others, i think that you are a very good parent, and have done so much for your son. i know that this hurts and probably feels like ungrateful and just plan betrayal, try not to allow it to get to you too bad, i think you are doing the right thing to back away and protect the rest of you guys. sounds like an angry addict right now. hopeful he'll find his way soon and he'll then preciate the decisions that you have made. keeping all of you in my prayers
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Old 07-09-2007, 02:57 PM
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Well, just like I learned last night at the hospital with AD.........being homicidal is grounds to have him 302'd. I feel your pain.......AD lashed out at me and said things to me that no child should ever say to a mother or father. She put on a real sideshow for the whole emergency room. I never had any child of mine look so evil as she did to me last night. I know what you mean.......I raised her up in a very good middle class home with all of the niceties that life has to offer. Parents with careers, college educated siblings with good jobs. She had the same opportunities as her siblings and probably more because she was the baby and the only girl. It is a slap in the face for all that we do for them. Not to mention the love and the giving of myself. I would drop anything to spend time with her. I just don't know how we can be treated this way. The disrespect is unbelievable.
Stay strong, Lake......he is just mad at you for cutting him off. We are in the same boat right now because mine hates me right now and has told me so several times.
I can only hope that someday sooner than later that they make up for it by building good lives for themselves.

Blessings on you and your family............Lois
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Old 07-09-2007, 03:14 PM
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Must be something in the air..AD told me she hated me the other night..then last night brought me a steak hoagie home from where she works !! Hmm maybe I shouldn't have ate it. LOL
Lake ..sorry your son reacted that way I've never had my life threatened by AD. Most likely it was just a temper tantrum, but be careful, don't take any chances. You've been very supportive of him an hopefully some day he'll realize what a great Dad he has.
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Old 07-09-2007, 03:29 PM
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Lake I know it hurts to hear your child talk to you like that. Keep in in your heart that it isn't your son, it's the addiction talking. While my kids have never said that, my ex ah did.
They don't hate us. The person they hate the most is themselves. They hate what they've become and they hate that they can't seem to stop.
It's a long hard road to recovery, but people do find that road.

It's a good thing you're not afraid to call 911 either. Addicts and alcoholics are unpredictable and can do anything. I hope it doesn't come to that.
Take care.
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Old 07-09-2007, 03:37 PM
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I too am sorry, yet with the phone, this is what I expected, not the threats, but, him calling her. That is why he wanted the phone.

We all have to learn things the hard way, the key is to learn from our mistakes, and not repeat them.

I would be cautious of him,addicts are very unpredictable and cunning, do what you have to do to protect yourself and Mrs. Lake.

You are good people, you have done what you thought was best...it just backfired.

My Best,
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Old 07-09-2007, 03:48 PM
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An addict active in his addiction is out of control and spews his anger at anyone within earshot because the alternative is to get angry with himself.

Don't take his threat lightly. I doubt he meant it, but I don't know your son so maybe take extra care for a while.

No matter how much we love them, no matter how much we do for them, it's never enough. And giving even more makes it worse.

The best thing I ever did was to let go, stop giving anything, and letting my son find his own way.

Hugs
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Old 07-09-2007, 04:03 PM
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((((lake)))
My mother used to say that when kids we're little they stepped on our toes and when they grow up they step on our hearts.
My kids were small then and I had no idea. My mom was so smart. I wish I could talk to her today. I'd beg her forgiveness for any wrong that I may have done to her to hurt her in any way. Be Strong, Trish
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Old 07-09-2007, 04:46 PM
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ladyjane......my mom used to say the same thing. How true and very wise those old folks are. A client of my once said....."sometimes we have to do hurtful things to save our children" A very wise 86 yr. old.

Lo
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:01 PM
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Please document this call with the phone records, the date and time and the threat, because someday you may need that information to protect him from himself.
Do not hesitate to call 911 if he shows up just as you told him you would.
for your safety and peace of mind and hopefully his growth into the real world.
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Old 07-09-2007, 05:13 PM
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((((((Lake)))))))

Try to remember it's the addict talking and not your son.
Still, you have to protect yourself and your family.
It's heartbreaking to hear your child say such a thing, I know.
My son has threatened to kill both his dad and my husband, at one time or another.
He never threatened me cause I was his enabler. lol
Hope you smiled from that.
Stay strong and don't take it personally. It's easier for him to hate you, then it is to see you hurt and upset.
Turn the other cheek for a while. Once he's at rock bottom, you'll get your son back.
Sending prayers for it.
Linda


Pray for it!
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