Mavis

My 5 year old Son came back from AH's today. He spent the weekend there, and before putting him to bed he started to cry. He tried so hard to hold his tears back like a big grown up. I rubbed his back and asked him "What's wrong?" He replied:
"How long are we going to be living at Grandmas?" His tears were streaming down his face. His poor lip was quivering.
"I don't know honey"... I feel so sad.
He looked at me and asked me "Is there anything I could do to help you and Dad?"
I am so torn up. I hugged him and told him "No honey, there isn't. And you haven't done anything wrong. Mom and Dad love you so much."
We layed together and talked about all the things we love about Dad. That seemed to take his mind off of things. I hate tearing him from his home. I am so torn up. I tried so hard to tell him the right things, but it doesn't seem to matter one bit. The situation sucks. I hate my AH. I hate what he has done. I hate my feelings.

I would do anything for my Son, except for the one thing he needs most and that is a family together and I cannot give that to him.

It's been a hard night.
Very hard.

liesagain

mavis.................(((((((((((((((((((hugs))))) )))))))))))))))))))
it is so difficult to deal with your child hurting........expecially when you cant be the one to fix it................
you sound like you did the perfect thing for your son......you were close you were supportive you listened you said how much you both love him.........despite your anger at dad you helped your son still feel its ok to miss him!!
your a great mom, and even thou it hurts now, with a mom like you your son is luckY!

BigSis

(((Mavis)))) You are a good mom, making tough choices that are for the best.


Your son will be ok... and you will, too.


I am so sorry you have to go through this... and sorry he does, too. He is lucky to have you.

(((Mavis)))

dollydo

Awh Mavis,

You are a great Mom, you handled this perfectly. He will be fine, just give him some time to work through this, children are very resiliant.

hope213

(((((((mavis))))) you are doing the right thing.you & your son both will be ok. i know it is hard for you both right now but it will get better. i am saying a prayer for you & him & your husband too.

Ann

You are a terrific mom, giving your child love, a safe environment and answers to his questions.

As adults we struggle emotionally with all this, and so do the innocent children who understand even less than we do. Just show him how much he is loved, say a prayer and let life unfold as it may.

My prayers go out for you and your family. Times will get better, they always do.

Hugs

Hangin' In

((((((((((((((Mavis)))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you and our son are having to go through this. He is a blessed little boy to have you as a mom. Just loving him and being there for him is such a reassurance for him even when he's crying.

You hang in there. Nothing lasts forever. Keep the focus on you and him and what is best for y'all.

Hugs,
Hangin' In

cece1960

((((Mavis))))
As others have already said, you are a good Mom to protect your child...he's just too young to understand right now.
My son was about 4 when his Dad and I split. It broke my heart too, but eventually he settled in just fine.
(((Hugs)))
Cece

Elana

Just letting you know I support how you handled this. You did well.

don't be hatingyourself for doing the right thing. Your son will be fine in the end.. better.. and you know that.

Hate addiction. That is what you need to hate.

parentrecovers

i'm sorry. sending hugs, k

duet_4-8

I think you handled it very well. It is hard when we see our kids hurting, but he will be OK and so will you.

Sending prayers and hugs!

eaglesgirl

It is so hard for children so young to understand what is really going on...

In time, he will come to know what is is you have done to make both of your lives the best it can be...

You did just fine... You are doing what you need to do to take care of you and that little boy and make a better way of life...

(((Mavis)))...

Keeping you in prayers...

Mavis

Well, my Son just woke up. He fell asleep around quarter to eleven last night. Thank you everyone for boosting my spirits when I needed it most. I am a tough cookie in most way's, but my Sons feelings turn me to mush. I am going to reach out for councelling for my little guy and I. I think we need it...

((((thank you)))))

ladyamalthea

*hugs*

I hope I can be as wonderful of a mom as you some day. Unfortunately, you are right. There are things you will never be able to give him, simply because you are human, if for no other reason. But he definitely has a leg up on the world by having you to support him!

greeteachday

Mavis...I'm glad you are both feeling better...

Sometimes what we think our children "need" more than anything else might be our projection of what we would like. It is sad and tough for a bit but you are giving your son exactly what he "needs"...your unconditional love and support and a safe loving home. You are a terrific mom and I just know your little guy is so grateful for you! Hugs and prayers

envision

It is really, really hard as a mother myself to think of the little ones hurting. I teach young children for a living and the best advise I can give you is to keep talking to the little one like you did. They don't easily understand things but they do need to get out their feelings and share them just the same as we do...and the more they let it out the better they are for it.

Huggs..you and the little one are in my prayers.

Wascally Wabbit

Mavis, it's so heartbreaking I know. You're doing the right thing and you know it.
Things are going to get better for both of you.

rahsue

((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))

bookmiser

(((((Mavis))))))

Just adding support and prayers for you, your son, and your ah, as well.
It's heartbreaking, sometimes, to have to make the right descision, but it had to be done. I'm sure your son will understand when he's older.
My children were 8 and 3 when I left my alcoholic husband. They both, as adults, understand and support the choices I made back then.
Your to be commended for having the courage and strength.
You get a big A+ in the mom department from me.
Love,
Linda

krhea75

I am so glad your little guy can talk to you. My son had the same feelings, but he stuffed them down and started smoking pot. Just keep the communication open. You sound like a great mom.
krhea