Conflict heart and head
Fighting for happiness
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: between a rock and a hard place
Posts: 32
Conflict heart and head
has your heart ever said one thing and your head another
i love my father and as sad as it is even with all the "stuff" he has put us through he is still my hero i have a chance to leave and never look back my head says to go and my heart would never let me leave
A's have been in my life for so long i don't feel right if i am not tring to get someone to start drinking
do i run and never look back or do i stay and hope that my dad will stay sober
it was five weeks ago when things got better my father got sober but all i can think is he will drink again just give it time
my fam line is i don't know and that is it i don't know.
as it stands it is 1am and i am here idon't know what to do
i love my father and as sad as it is even with all the "stuff" he has put us through he is still my hero i have a chance to leave and never look back my head says to go and my heart would never let me leave
A's have been in my life for so long i don't feel right if i am not tring to get someone to start drinking
do i run and never look back or do i stay and hope that my dad will stay sober
it was five weeks ago when things got better my father got sober but all i can think is he will drink again just give it time
my fam line is i don't know and that is it i don't know.
as it stands it is 1am and i am here idon't know what to do
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
What are the pros and cons *for you* of staying and what are the pros and cons of leaving. Sometimes in these really hard decisions, it helps to make a list of each, helps get the brain to sort it out.
And if he does stay sober, do you want to spend the rest of your life living with the fear that he will start drinking again? And if he doesn't, are you ready to go through that all over again?
Is there not a gray area where you could be close to him but not THAT close to him?
It's a tough decision, I wish I had better words of advice for you to clarify the problem, but I can't predict the future any better than you can. We make the decisions we make with the information we have available at the time. That is the best you can hope for.
And if he does stay sober, do you want to spend the rest of your life living with the fear that he will start drinking again? And if he doesn't, are you ready to go through that all over again?
Is there not a gray area where you could be close to him but not THAT close to him?
It's a tough decision, I wish I had better words of advice for you to clarify the problem, but I can't predict the future any better than you can. We make the decisions we make with the information we have available at the time. That is the best you can hope for.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Yes, the classic struggle between the heart and the brain.I know it well.
None of us can ever know for certain if loved ones will ever drink again. Even alcoholics themselves are reluctant to say "never."
The endless struggle of not knowing whether to stay or go is a terrible place to be. Love is such a powerful binding force and it will keep people together right up until the bitter end but many of us choose to stay with those we love and accept the terms that comes with that decision.
You must choose. Either you choose to stay with him because of the love you still feel for him and accept that he may one day drink again or you leave and let go of any regrets. Either way you have to end the conflict inside you.
My father is nearly blind now and he grows older everyday.He did nothing to provide for his old age and wasted a lot of time and money. He doesn't drink anymore but many wounds still remain.I have made my decision to be there for him and have no resentment or regrets. He is my father. I will always love him.
None of us can ever know for certain if loved ones will ever drink again. Even alcoholics themselves are reluctant to say "never."
The endless struggle of not knowing whether to stay or go is a terrible place to be. Love is such a powerful binding force and it will keep people together right up until the bitter end but many of us choose to stay with those we love and accept the terms that comes with that decision.
You must choose. Either you choose to stay with him because of the love you still feel for him and accept that he may one day drink again or you leave and let go of any regrets. Either way you have to end the conflict inside you.
My father is nearly blind now and he grows older everyday.He did nothing to provide for his old age and wasted a lot of time and money. He doesn't drink anymore but many wounds still remain.I have made my decision to be there for him and have no resentment or regrets. He is my father. I will always love him.
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