Day 28
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Day 28
It has been four weeks now since AS's accident. The day was a little better.
Son's long lost father showed up again unannounced. We never know since his reappearance into his life. My son was asking about him yesterday, so I called his dad's cell phone and left a message that if he had intentions of being in son's life, to at least call and check on him after surgery. Don't hurt him again. So today he shows up. And my mother and brother showed up, too. Uncomfortable!!
Son seems to be clear-headed now (as much as possible). It must have been the medications after the third surgery that set him off in the tirade. I never want to experience that again.
It was good to have a day today to pick up my clothes from the floor and wash a few loads. Perhaps tomorrow I can even find time to go to the grocery store for the first time. It's amazing what is usually a chore is something that I look forward to now.
It's in times like these I learn to appreciate the really small things in life like sitting down with my Diet Coke and oatmeal cookie this morning. Heaven! And clean sheets!! I changed my bed linens. Most nights have been at the hospital anyway though. Checking my messages, catching up on a few phone calls, and getting trash out of my car have been a few little things that are usually taken for granted.
Son was talking tonight about how he didn't die in the accident. Only his head wasn't injured. He said he guessed he just couldn't die because he has wanted to die for 15 years now. I told him God has a plan for him and his mama prays too hard for that to happen now. But that's really not very accurate. I have even grown tired of praying for something that doesn't happen, but God even understands that, I suppose, and He knows how my heart is in prayer even if it's not verbal. So He must be listening. I sure have a lot of questions for Him some day.
Washbe
Son's long lost father showed up again unannounced. We never know since his reappearance into his life. My son was asking about him yesterday, so I called his dad's cell phone and left a message that if he had intentions of being in son's life, to at least call and check on him after surgery. Don't hurt him again. So today he shows up. And my mother and brother showed up, too. Uncomfortable!!
Son seems to be clear-headed now (as much as possible). It must have been the medications after the third surgery that set him off in the tirade. I never want to experience that again.
It was good to have a day today to pick up my clothes from the floor and wash a few loads. Perhaps tomorrow I can even find time to go to the grocery store for the first time. It's amazing what is usually a chore is something that I look forward to now.
It's in times like these I learn to appreciate the really small things in life like sitting down with my Diet Coke and oatmeal cookie this morning. Heaven! And clean sheets!! I changed my bed linens. Most nights have been at the hospital anyway though. Checking my messages, catching up on a few phone calls, and getting trash out of my car have been a few little things that are usually taken for granted.
Son was talking tonight about how he didn't die in the accident. Only his head wasn't injured. He said he guessed he just couldn't die because he has wanted to die for 15 years now. I told him God has a plan for him and his mama prays too hard for that to happen now. But that's really not very accurate. I have even grown tired of praying for something that doesn't happen, but God even understands that, I suppose, and He knows how my heart is in prayer even if it's not verbal. So He must be listening. I sure have a lot of questions for Him some day.
Washbe
trying to mend
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 105
I too have (perhaps unconsciously) omitted prayer but then felt saddened and disappointed in myself later. I do believe in prayer, but sometimes I just can't think about it anymore for awhile. When my AS should be in jail, but he gets a break whether by some stroke of luck or a part of God's plan, instead of realizing his fortune and being grateful, he gets cocky and arrogant, like he is invincible. My prayers are with your family.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I have even grown tired of praying for something that doesn't happen, but God even understands that, I suppose, and He knows how my heart is in prayer even if it's not verbal.
Washbe, Thanks for the update on you and your son. I'm glad he is now more clearheaded and that you got a little reprieve. Please give yourself more...try to find that quiet half hour to yourself each day to regroup and recharge...It will help both of you!
A lot of my prayer is a conversation with God....Sometimes it is simply, "Hey, I don't understand this and I have to admit, it is really annoying me/hurting me/bringing me down, etc. So I can use a little help here if you don't mind. Please help me to understand what you want...I'm willing, just need some help, okay?" For me it seems my HP understands this and that little help comes my way...often in ways I never would have expected or that don't look like "help," more like a problem from my initial perspective...My HP sure is inventive and creative...I can never anticipate what's next, but when I let him take control, it sure does make a positive change for me.
Hugs and prayers for both of you as you continue to heal.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Washbe.... (((Hugs)))) We never know the timing of things - that is what is so frustrating in our part of recovery. I know I went through each day either reminiscing about the past or hoping for the future... and missing all of today.
When I stopped praying, in part, I was accepting that I can live in today.
HP knows what your son needs and has him wrapped up in His arms... right now.
But I do remember wondering if by not praying, I was somehow not "working" for my daughter anymore. But today, I know that is not true. I am not the only one praying, and neither are you. We pray for you and your son, too. As do his grandparents and even his dad. I hear your gratitude in the everyday mundane stuff, so does your HP. I think it was ok for me to not be conciously asking God to save my daughter, and that by doing so, I was again focused on living the OTHER life... the precious one that God gave to ME.
(((Washbe))) (((son)))
When I stopped praying, in part, I was accepting that I can live in today.
HP knows what your son needs and has him wrapped up in His arms... right now.
But I do remember wondering if by not praying, I was somehow not "working" for my daughter anymore. But today, I know that is not true. I am not the only one praying, and neither are you. We pray for you and your son, too. As do his grandparents and even his dad. I hear your gratitude in the everyday mundane stuff, so does your HP. I think it was ok for me to not be conciously asking God to save my daughter, and that by doing so, I was again focused on living the OTHER life... the precious one that God gave to ME.
(((Washbe))) (((son)))
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Washbe,
It takes a long time to heal from such life threatening injuries, I'm so glad he is doing better.
You make sure you get alot of rest too, now that he has turned the corner....
Sometimes, I take a walk and just have a chat with God.
I believe He understands fully how we feel minute to minute...
Hugs to you,
prayers for you son,
It takes a long time to heal from such life threatening injuries, I'm so glad he is doing better.
You make sure you get alot of rest too, now that he has turned the corner....
Sometimes, I take a walk and just have a chat with God.
I believe He understands fully how we feel minute to minute...
Hugs to you,
prayers for you son,
Living in the light
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Sweet Home Serenity
Posts: 706
Washbe, you and son are in my prayers today.
It sounds like son is on the road to sound mind and body.
Now, take time just for you to relax and rest.
I have a prayer that covers many...simply, God Bless all.
Hugs
It sounds like son is on the road to sound mind and body.
Now, take time just for you to relax and rest.
I have a prayer that covers many...simply, God Bless all.
Hugs
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
This is a good change from the last post. Thank heaven his behavior was only from the medication.
He will continue to get better with time.
You sound more peaceful today.
I know how you feel about the prayer thing. But, it's all in His time not ours, so we press on.
Take care.
He will continue to get better with time.
You sound more peaceful today.
I know how you feel about the prayer thing. But, it's all in His time not ours, so we press on.
Take care.
Bridge CLOSED
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: No ones business
Posts: 1,497
Sometimes God doesn't give us answers but he is present and with us as long as we invite Him to walk along with us on our journey.. no matter how rocky the path or slow the trip.
We just got to keep inviting him along.
((((Washbe2))))
We just got to keep inviting him along.
((((Washbe2))))
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Washbe,
I haven't been around to support in the early days of your son's accident, but I want you to know I'm praying for both you and him.
God knows your heart, Washbe, and he understands. He isn't keeping score as to how many prayers you have or haven't offered. He's there, watching over you and your son.
You hang in there, Washbe, and know I'm lifting both of you up today,
Big hugs,
Hangin' In
I haven't been around to support in the early days of your son's accident, but I want you to know I'm praying for both you and him.
God knows your heart, Washbe, and he understands. He isn't keeping score as to how many prayers you have or haven't offered. He's there, watching over you and your son.
You hang in there, Washbe, and know I'm lifting both of you up today,
Big hugs,
Hangin' In
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