Mavis

So after 7 year's I finnally came in contact with an old friend I went to Highschool with. We were best friends. We went camping, we went to show's, and laughed together all the time. There was nothing going on between him and I. Nothing at all. Nothing was even "mentioned" about "us" as a couple.

When my AH and I moved in together, he met him, and never liked him. Come to think of it he never liked any of my friends, and was so distant. He would make an excuse to "not" be around at all. Slowly I lost all of my friends. Including my Best friend. He Stopped calling after I married AH. I stopped calling him.

When I saw him on Myspace, I sent him a message and he responded. He was so happy to hear from me, and we have plans to get together on the weekend.

My question is whether or not I should tell my AH that I found my old friend. If I did, I know he would think I was cheating on him. I would get the "drill" and I am not up for that.

I am excited for the fact that it would be sooo good to do things with out drugs or alcohol involved. I feel like I am reclaiming a life I had lost so long ago. I'm just not sure if I should tell my AH about him or not.

Any thoughs?

Mavis

I guess I should mention that AH and I have been seperated for almost 3 month's.

dollydo

None of his business.

GiveLove

Mavis,

What would your reason be for telling your AH? Am I missing something? Why is it his business who you are friends with?

If you're just trying to head off the fact that he may find out anyway, then I agree - he'll probably think you are & were cheating. I made that mistake once, and life got really ridiculously hard for a long, long time. Threats, lawsuit threats, suicide threats, stalking, and worse. Separating is one thing - but hell hath no fury like a man who thinks he's been scorned, and I wouldn't wish the hell I went thru on anybody...all because of an innocent friendship with a member of the male gender.

Be careful of perceptions. And dolly's right - none of his beeswax.

GiveLove

Mavis

I have no idea why I feel compeled to tell him, other than when I last had plans to go to a poetry reading, the manipulation and jelousy was at it's worst. I'm not sure how I should do thing's since I have a 5 year old son. I also have guilt over my head about "him" wanting us to get back together.
I am not sure what the future holds for him and I, but I know he is no where close to being were he needs to be for us to be a family again.
The more day's go by, I see myself further and further from him, but the guilt eat's me up because of my son involved. He diddn't ask for this.

You are right. It is none of his business. But what do I do when he start's getting angry and jelous and "stalking" type. He ask's me constantly "what are you doing" "where did you go", "who were you with" How do we keep things civil if I refuse to answer?

hope213

honey if you are seprated you can do as you please.no,do not tell him now or ever. enjoy yourself & let us know how it goes.you deserve a good time.hugs,

patchoulli

none of his business

aloneinside

WOW, same thing here. I did the same thing except my old friend was a long distance relationship that drifted and never really got serious we were too shy both of us. We were so excited to get back in touch, went great until FUTURE XAH was waiting at my house for me and figured out my password for computer and read a few emails. so I say go for it!!! Just cover yourself, I must say it hit the fan worse than it ever had before and we were seperated.

But you deserve your friendships you lost and what would it hurt

Sunflower

Let Go!

caughtinthemid

Well, since you asked for opinions, I wouldn't feel compelled to tell AH about the meet,but I would feel compelled to the "old friend" that you are still married, but separated.

Just my 2¢

teke

ithink that i would tell the friend too, but if you know that ah might cause you trouble, why would you think that he should know, its only an old friend, right? i say time to heal a little before you start a new relationship if you can but no harm in getting away from of the drama of being alone. jmop

Mavis

Thank you once again. You all gave me the advice I needed to hear. Caughtinthemid, you are right. I was going to tell him. After all, he did know we got married and had our son way back. Have a wonderful day everyone!!!