This is unbelievably hard!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hi bymyself, I am gonna quote Ayla again 
'...those of us who succeed are those of us who keep trying......keep trying...'
I have been trying, and I mean REALLY trying since february and I am back at day 10 again after a lot of slips. Who knows, this could be the time it sticks?!
'...those of us who succeed are those of us who keep trying......keep trying...'
I have been trying, and I mean REALLY trying since february and I am back at day 10 again after a lot of slips. Who knows, this could be the time it sticks?!
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
I find it helpful not to really count days. For me it just built up more and more presure as I seem to have some sort of fear of success. Inevatibly, I would end up using, usually right before a "milestone", 30 days, 60 days, etc. I've had many times where I got 27 days or 58 days, but then I'd mess up. Now I just look at today. It really doesnt' matter how many "days" you have as long as you have today. It's really the only day that matters. I know many people find it helpful to count their days of sobriety, but for me it was more of a using trigger than anything. Just a different perspective. Best of luck to both of you. Take care.
LOST!
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 34
One second leads to another. It is not one day at a time but one milisecond at a time. The beginning is the hardest. Now I am sober for more than 1 year and my son died in March and I didn't pick up. I never thought that I would remain sober for something like that. But, I know it will be WORSE if I go back. I wish all of you the best. I have been there and only one drink away from my next drunk. God Bless you all!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
I understand the trigger of reaching milestones in sobriety, but, for me, its helpful to remember that that is what the disease of mind will do: at say, 60 days of sobriety, it would say to me that I can now have a drink to reward myself.
it helped me to prepare for those days by being armed with greater resolve and awareness of the potential landmine in that "milestone territory".
for me, the benefit of counting days in sobriety has the effect of feeling something powerful growing in my life that gets more and more strong over the course of time. Its true that I never lost the memory of the positive experience of having been sober 13 years, and, when I drank again, that memory was a powerful tool in my return to recovery.
It is a paradox: that by counting days, and measuring sober growth this way, my positive memory builds upon itself into positive habits. This turns into more time, which turns into more depth of sobriety.
What works for me may not work for anyone else, so I wish you the best....
JUST FOR TODAY, DON'T DRINK~~
it helped me to prepare for those days by being armed with greater resolve and awareness of the potential landmine in that "milestone territory".
for me, the benefit of counting days in sobriety has the effect of feeling something powerful growing in my life that gets more and more strong over the course of time. Its true that I never lost the memory of the positive experience of having been sober 13 years, and, when I drank again, that memory was a powerful tool in my return to recovery.
It is a paradox: that by counting days, and measuring sober growth this way, my positive memory builds upon itself into positive habits. This turns into more time, which turns into more depth of sobriety.
What works for me may not work for anyone else, so I wish you the best....
JUST FOR TODAY, DON'T DRINK~~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
I found that simply focussing on today worked best for me. If I added up days, it became a growing pressure. I didn't like that. I did enter my sober date in a journal and then I promptly put it aside. From time to time I will look at it and reflect on the success I have had, but that is all.
I know some in AA say it is important to track the days so you can take your chip, etc., and that this is both for you and for others... i.e. marks your accomplishments and inspires others, but I am not going to hold myself to that as I need to do what is right for me.
For today, I am sober.
Levi
I know some in AA say it is important to track the days so you can take your chip, etc., and that this is both for you and for others... i.e. marks your accomplishments and inspires others, but I am not going to hold myself to that as I need to do what is right for me.
For today, I am sober.
Levi
Cause no harm
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Missouri
Posts: 596
Theresa,
"Failures" are things of the past...yesterday, last week, last month...das macht nicht! It means nothing unless you hold on to it. Failure resides not in the present. This is the present...therefore there is no failure. Only today counts. Stay with your goal for today and you are a winner. Winners are of the present.
Peace—
Padraic
"Failures" are things of the past...yesterday, last week, last month...das macht nicht! It means nothing unless you hold on to it. Failure resides not in the present. This is the present...therefore there is no failure. Only today counts. Stay with your goal for today and you are a winner. Winners are of the present.
Peace—
Padraic
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
I am coming up to a Milestone and for me I have to be prepared for my addiction to kick in and make the days before and after difficult. Having said that I would not miss the celebration of milestones in the rooms of NA. Such a joy to share my clean time and listen to others share theirs and to spend time with memebers and freinds at my home group.
Do you have support and work some sort of program? If not then maybe you could look into that. I can't do this alone.
Kevin
Do you have support and work some sort of program? If not then maybe you could look into that. I can't do this alone.
Kevin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
Thank you all for your words of support. It's the weirdest thing. I wonder if it's the alcoholic mind but after I don't drink for a little while I start believing that I can have a drink or two and be able to control it because I was able to stop it for a week or two. And then I have one that leads to two then three then eight or nine until I can't remember anything. Then the next morning is that horrible feeling of depression, guilt, hopelessness and feeling like such a failure. I hope this horrible cycle can stop.
Theresa
Theresa
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: alaska
Posts: 1
Hi Theresa,
I know exactly what you mean...after almost 2 weeks of sobriety I thought I could have one or two at the weekend, which lead to more and more and back to where I started. I'm guessing this is a pattern in the early stages of quitting. It's so hard because it makes you feel even more hopeless. I'm hoping that by reaching out and talking to other people in the same place, we can help each other. Anytime I've tried to stop I just end up becoming reclusive, and then I end up drinking again. So today is day 1. Again. I've got my fingers crossed for you!
I know exactly what you mean...after almost 2 weeks of sobriety I thought I could have one or two at the weekend, which lead to more and more and back to where I started. I'm guessing this is a pattern in the early stages of quitting. It's so hard because it makes you feel even more hopeless. I'm hoping that by reaching out and talking to other people in the same place, we can help each other. Anytime I've tried to stop I just end up becoming reclusive, and then I end up drinking again. So today is day 1. Again. I've got my fingers crossed for you!
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Hi Theresa, I have read all your post, since you came here.
I want to first say, that I care what happens to you. You have been
trying to quit on your own for a couple of years, and it's not working.
You are in a stop, start, beat youself up, and repeat pattern..
You have a manageable disease, and are in a pretty good part of the country to
get good medical and alcoholism treatment....It's time to do just that, get help..
Alcoholism is a disease, there are medications and counseling, and programs, for any type or stage of the disease...
You can't do it on your own, don't let the stigma of this disease keep you from getting the help you need.
Hugs, hope3
I want to first say, that I care what happens to you. You have been
trying to quit on your own for a couple of years, and it's not working.
You are in a stop, start, beat youself up, and repeat pattern..
You have a manageable disease, and are in a pretty good part of the country to
get good medical and alcoholism treatment....It's time to do just that, get help..
Alcoholism is a disease, there are medications and counseling, and programs, for any type or stage of the disease...
You can't do it on your own, don't let the stigma of this disease keep you from getting the help you need.
Hugs, hope3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
theresa YES & double YES!!!
wish'n you trying a different way this time...
xxoo, rz
It's the weirdest thing. I wonder if it's the alcoholic mind but after I don't drink for a little while I start believing that I can have a drink or two and be able to control it because I was able to stop it for a week or two. And then I have one that leads to two then three then eight or nine until I can't remember anything. Then the next morning is that horrible feeling of depression, guilt, hopelessness and feeling like such a failure. I hope this horrible cycle can stop.
wish'n you trying a different way this time...
xxoo, rz
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