Mr. Christian

You know it’s funny, but some things never change. As most of you know I’m in the final stages of this divorce with “Hurricane Trudy”.


I’m waiting for this default hearing to take place and it seems that every piece of paper you file here takes at least 30 days to go through.

Well now she has been calling everyday to see if I heard anything!
All the messages, some at midnight, gee get a grip!

Anyway after 5 calls that I did not pick up she finally left a message asking if I was avoiding her!

God, it must of hit her like last call.

So I text her that I would not like talk , that I told her it was being handled.
You know old vodka breath calls again so I picked up and said, why is it so hard to understand everything I told you 100 times?
Oh that’s right, you’re out of your mind!

I gave her the number of the paralegal / attorney that was helping me with filing, since she did not believe me and told her not to bother me again.
She had 40 days to respond after being served and did not. It goes into default and it takes a little longer this way.

So after all this I thought, wow, I’M SO GLAD THIS IS OUT OF MT LIFE NOW!



Then I walked out in the front yard and did a little dance….

Sunflower

why did you talk to her at all? why did you text her? why are you communicating with her in anyway shape or form? as long as you do--whatever the reason she will be a part of your life--why do you keep opening that door? Are you working your program? you sound so angry about her.....

Mr. Christian

Well my original agreement with her was to keep her informed on this since I was handling it, so I keep my word when I can..

Yeppers do work the program and I guess after 6 months of no contact she had to try.

I thought about changing my number, but you know so many people I do want to talk with have it.


No not angry, happy in fact that Im out of the wreakage.
Tired of dealing with her, yeah I could say that.

chero

What do you think it'll be like, Mr. C, when it is all finalized?

prodigal

Mr. C, is there a possibility you could change your number, keep it unlisted and unpublished, and make sure folks you want to hear from have it? That would cut her out of the loop to a greater degree.

I love it .... "old vodka breath" - LOL!!!!!! Yeah, and ain't it a "lovely" stench?

I think you've avoided her a great deal. There comes a time when you answer the phone or respond to a text message in the hopes that they will just shut up and go away!

Mr. Christian

Well when it’s over I’m sure I will have some feeling of relief.
But you know I’ve been on my own now for so very long, it’s just a paper work thing right now.
I might throw a little party.

But I think everything was pretty much over when I realized for myself that living in an unhealthy relationship was not the way to go.

On the phone, I know so many people and so many calls me, so I think it would be a big hassle.
I might though, I’ll think on that one.

One thing though, she has had the case number on this since it started, so I don’t know why she is calling me. I really think in her twisted thought that she does not think I followed through with what I said.


Who knows?

newenglandgirl

Or she just wants a reason to call you...to keep your lives entangled in some way.

From what you've told us, she's pretty much off her rocker, so I wouldn't try too hard to figure out why she does what she does.

Mr. Christian

- I stopped doing that a long time ago.
Even her jail time and classes and court appointed rehab has done nothing for helping her.

FormerDoormat

What may not be apparent to folks who are somewat new to this forum is that Mr. C. has only recently entered the anger phase. It's a normal phase that everyone goes through at one time or another when they end a relationship. And it's a normal and necessary phase of grief.

I see it as a positive as opposed to a negative. A sign that he's moving forward after a long time of what appeared (to me) of being stale-mated in his recovery. I frankly see a much stronger, wiser, and more determined Mr. C. than ever here and I'm beaming with pride over how hard he's worked to get to this phase. I don't think it's helpful or productive to insist that he needs to let go of his anger; he'll do that when he's ready. I think it would be more helpful and supportive to recognize this as yet another step in his recovery and cheer him on.

I always knew that behind that rather reserved, Clark Kent-type demeanor lied our Superman. One who does a happy dance to celebrate his recovery in his front yard as opposed to one who chooses to continue the codie-alkie dance.

Now, get down with your bad self, Mr. C. Wish I was there to see you boogie down.

Mr. Christian

Ah my little Former Doormat...

LGLG07

Mr C .. I love what you said .. 'it must of hit her like last call' !!
thats hysterical even though I cant see anything comparing to last call for her !

Good for you . Do your happy dance ! When its over Im sure the only calls you will take from her will be when you need a little comic relief !

Zoey

Mr. C, Thank you for sharing, always good to see you here on the board.
I for one trust your decesions now, you have come a million miles dear one!


Caring, understanding, proud of you hugs , and LV YA

Janitw

Hey Mr C....doesnt victory taste SWEET.....the victory being that NOW she is facing the reality of what she's done and she has not got any idea of how to handle that.....and of course doesnt want to either....this is where she is gonna call you alot more than you think or want...so watch out for the pitfalls she is going to give it her last shot ... she hasnt played her last card yet but it will come .... be on your toes.

You just dance all the way down to the court house to that final hearing ok...lol

embraced2000

mr c...dance away dearie, and enjoy the moment. it's a much better dance than the one we were dancing living with the insanity of it all, eh?

fdm could not have said it better......(she can make words just sing)....and i'm grateful that for today, you do not make the choice to let your heart ache with the pain of loss, but instead, you are dancing in the yard, with your cape billowing in the wind, and your legs encased in tights are rippling......ahhhhhhhh never mind............

Mr. Christian

Thank you for all your warm responses.
Who would like the next dance?…….




Do little dance… make a little love…. get down tonight…. get down tonight…..

Janitw

I think I will accept that offer Mr. C......lol Lets boogie...

HolyQow

Why does everyone think he is angry? I guess I read it differently. I see the sarcasmn and humor in almost every sentence. I see relief. I see that he has predicted her behavior down to the time of her phone calls. Mr C knows what the real deal is (and I think you are handling it well).

The waiting is the worst......30 days can seem like an eternity..... try to keep yourself busy, it will go by quicker. Good luck.

FormerDoormat

Ahhhhhh, tights rippling. I'm picturing that now. That's an even more enticing visualization than cheesecake draped in chocolate ganash. The only way to top that would be to somehow combine the two....

minnie

Good for you, Mr C, for being able to attain a level of detachment that eluded you for so long.

I'm also very careful, though, not to be teaching someone to call x number of times before I pick up/react. It only means that they'll call at least that many times next time.

Zoey

Might you put a message on your answering machine, "If this is (name) all conditions are the same, call attorney at #(give #) All others leave a message and I shall return your call. ??
Just a thought. Then if you get a strange voice with strange # could be a trick.
You are doing great.