stillsearching

Ok...so you guys read my other post about my AH going to visit his parents. I made the decision not to talk with him or answer the phone while he was gone...to have time to myself and ponder what I am doing.

Well....he called over and over again probably about 20 times, calling my cell and leaving me a e-mail. So after getting our daughter to bed on Sat. (he left on Thurs got to his parents on Fri) around 930 I thought I will call his parents house.

Well, his mom answers the phone and I ask for my husband...she says he left this afternoon to come home...12 hour drive back after he just got there th day before. I said why did he do that?? She says he was so upset that he could not get through to the house that he decided to come home.

WHAT THE HECK?????? She says she just talked with him and that he was going to a hotel for the night, that I should call him. So about a 1/2 hour later I call...he answers the phone and I can tell he has been crying...he says he was afraid that I had packed up with the family and left him...that he could not get ahold of me so he came home.

So......my plan blew up in my face, he came home a day early, I can't believe he packed up and came home???

WantsOut

I don't know your whole story but off the top of my head he sounds like a guy who knows he has behaved in a way that would justify being left. I don't panic that the cops might be after me because I"ve done nothing wrong. I don't fear my child calling CPS because I don't abuse him. And most people don't fear their spouse will leave them for no reason ...

How do you feel about what happened? Were you looking forward to time alone? Were you trying to detach?

MsGolightly

exactly... maybe this will help him wake up a little bit? i remember my ex spending a whole night sobbing after she did something wrong, and it made her want to change. she said she didn't want to feel like that anymore, ever. the change lasted for a year but there were other circumstances that came into play. perhaps this could mean your H realizes that he's done something wrong and needs to change, or else you really will leave him. he needs to see that anything is possible... that you could walk out at any minute and never look back.

stillsearching

yes..I was trying to detatch, and yes some of his behavior in the past could certainly justify me leaving him and he had been told that, but of course denied it and it came down to my over reacting again.

I just wanted to be left alone, to see how I would feel with him not here, and I did not feel sad, alone, and in fact if I did not have such a nasty cold all last week and into the weekend...I would have felt much more alive!

So, I feel good in myself right now that when I finish school and get a job that should the need arise to kick him out....I could and would. I realize that while it might not be the easiest thing to do, I have to not only do right by myself but my daughter...I certainly hope this feeling lasts, but honestly think that once I get a job....I will be very confident in that I WILL not tolerate the crappy behavior anymore.