Obsessing meets reality check!
Obsessing meets reality check!
My son got a 20 hour pass home this week-end, and it went very well.We spent a lot of time talking. He never saw his user friends...not sure if they just blew him off, but I'm pretty sure he called them. Maybe they have moved on (I wish). I called him today on Easter Sunday to wish him a happy Easter, and he seemed sad. But I told myself instead of obsessing about poor little boy stuck in rehab, i told myself, he had plenty of opportunities to turn it around and stay out of rehab. He didn't do it. It is an addiction, a disease that is stronger than he is. So he is right where he needs to be. Maybe not having him at home this Easter will give me future Easters with him. I am feeling very grateful today...for where I am in life, for all I have, for the joy of being alive, as hokey as that sounds. He has two weeks left in rehab and then the rubber hits the road. We'll see.Thanks for all of your support and stories and great words.
krhea
krhea
when they are "gone" like that they want to be with us but when they are home they usually can care less. i hope your day was really good.take it one day at a time.remember we r here for you .hugs & prayers, hope
"He has two weeks left in rehab and then the rubber hits the road".-Krhea
Nicely put. lol
My son was in jail at Easter last year. This year, he is living with dad and grandma. (jehovah's witness) Poor baby.
I told him I would come and see him tomorrow and bring him a basket of goodies. Maybe. tee hee
He's doing okay. Much better than last year, I must say.
Today was day 6 of sobriety. He's just testing the waters, I think.
His 36 yo new lady friend is as clean and straight as an arrow. With kids, I might add. I think she may have just "adopted" another one. roflmao
Sending prayers that all goes well with ras, after his release.
Remember...boundries, letting go, and detaching with love.
You remember, I know it. You've learned alot here, and I'm so glad too.
Your a good mom. Don't give up on him,...or you.
Love,
Nicely put. lol
My son was in jail at Easter last year. This year, he is living with dad and grandma. (jehovah's witness) Poor baby.
I told him I would come and see him tomorrow and bring him a basket of goodies. Maybe. tee hee
He's doing okay. Much better than last year, I must say.
Today was day 6 of sobriety. He's just testing the waters, I think.
His 36 yo new lady friend is as clean and straight as an arrow. With kids, I might add. I think she may have just "adopted" another one. roflmao
Sending prayers that all goes well with ras, after his release.
Remember...boundries, letting go, and detaching with love.
You remember, I know it. You've learned alot here, and I'm so glad too.
Your a good mom. Don't give up on him,...or you.
Love,
One thing that helped me with those phone calls that sounded sad was to remember that even before addiction, with teen life...that seemed the norm...The up and down roller coaster. I finally realized that she could sound like that with me and 5 mintues later be laughing with her friends in rehab.
I'm so glad you didn't let your obsession take over...that's great recovery in action! Hugs and prayers
I'm so glad you didn't let your obsession take over...that's great recovery in action! Hugs and prayers
krhea75,
Well, listen to you! You sound strong and full of recovery! You're doing a great job, and I absolutely love the way you are "thinking" through any thoughts of doubt on your part!
You are doing terrific, and I have my fingers crossed that he continues to keep on his recovery path...
Hugs,
Well, listen to you! You sound strong and full of recovery! You're doing a great job, and I absolutely love the way you are "thinking" through any thoughts of doubt on your part!
You are doing terrific, and I have my fingers crossed that he continues to keep on his recovery path...
Hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 107
krhea75,
My son has 94 days sober and I worried most about his ability to lose the user friends. That was the one thing he was never willing to give up in his outpatient treatments. Once he went "in", and quit negotiating the terms of his sobriety, his outlook changed a lot. He had many user "friends" contacting him recently. He tells them he can only talk them if they are clean. For many of them that means they still drink or smoke dope (His DOC was heroin, among many others). And even then he will only talk to them on the phone and not see them.
One "friend" did call him and say that he wanted to find friends who didn't use and if the only way he could see my son was to go to a meeting with him, he was willing to do that. And he did.
So perhaps it is a blessing that none of the using friends answered the phone. He will find out who his real friends are soon.
Hugs to you!
My son has 94 days sober and I worried most about his ability to lose the user friends. That was the one thing he was never willing to give up in his outpatient treatments. Once he went "in", and quit negotiating the terms of his sobriety, his outlook changed a lot. He had many user "friends" contacting him recently. He tells them he can only talk them if they are clean. For many of them that means they still drink or smoke dope (His DOC was heroin, among many others). And even then he will only talk to them on the phone and not see them.
One "friend" did call him and say that he wanted to find friends who didn't use and if the only way he could see my son was to go to a meeting with him, he was willing to do that. And he did.
So perhaps it is a blessing that none of the using friends answered the phone. He will find out who his real friends are soon.
Hugs to you!
glad to hear that you and son is doing ok and i'll continue to pray that both you guys stay strong, you're right, about the rubber meeting the road, but he can do it if he really wants to. keeping all of you in my prayers
Once upon a time, when my son and I were both in recovery at the same time, we had a discussion about our relationship and how we affected each other. He said to me "Sometimes I am having a bad day and I just need to get through it and work it out without your help." Who knew? He didn't need me to fix everything for him or even to worry about it.
Your recovery is shining and I think you are a faster learner than I ever thought of being. Let it shine, girl!
Hugs
Your recovery is shining and I think you are a faster learner than I ever thought of being. Let it shine, girl!
Hugs
After he gets out of rehab he will go back to school and try to salvage what's left of his education and graduate like he should in 2008. It is up to him, though. I think it's going to be tough. yes I am thankful he's not in prison. i am so thankful for all that I have.
khrea
khrea
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: charlotte,NC
Posts: 111
I feel that strong tone in your post, too. People keep telling me how they hear all this hope in my voice, how proud they are of me for being strong through this, and how they feel like I've become a better person through dealing with my husband's addiction. It makes me feel like something of a succubus--I'm getting stronger, feeding off his weakness...hah! I think I've learned something really important from this situation, though...I can't make my husband get better. Throughout my life, I've believed I could make things happen as long as I wanted them bad enough and was willing to work hard enough. This is one situation where it won't work, and I think I'll be a better person for learning to accept the things I cannot change.
Good luck to you! And keep taking care of yourself!
Good luck to you! And keep taking care of yourself!
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