frustrated1

Sunday was my third visit with my daughter in rehab. Tomorrow we have a family session to set some boundries. She will not be coming home, but going to a halfway house. I have good gut feelings and then I have bad gut feelings. The last time she went into rehab because she wanted to she was happy, excited, positive and looking forward to staying sober. This time she was more or less forced although now she says she wants sobriety again I see alot of anger, frustration, and a short temper, she wants to move on to the halfway house so she can start her time! What a way to look at it. Does anyone know if I should expect the same happy feelings or if maybe it could be different this time because of legal issues most of her choices have been taken away. I try to stay positive but I feel I have to let her know how I feel and what I see. We still feel we have to walk on eggshells because of her anger issues and this just doesn't seem right. Any thoughts on these issues would really be appreciated.

joesentme

I don't have any advice, I just want to wish you luck, and send my prayers.
I have heard some folks take a dim view on court enforced recovery. I guess anyone might feel resentful of being forced into anything, but maybe she will have find something there, that opens her heart to recovery anyway.
I will pray for that.
JSM

hope213

she is probley scared.change is always scary.i hope she does good.i will say a prayer for you all.keep us posted.

Ann

Rehabs help them understand addiction and relapse behaviour and give them the tools to stay clean and find a better life. The real recovery comes after they leave and learn to use those tools in everyday life.

My prayers go out that she grabs on to this program and works hard to stay on a good path.

Hugs

parentrecovers

sending encouragement. it's a slow process. hang in there! k

teke

i agree with ann, no need to walk on egg shells though, you can not make her use of make her stay sober, not your responsiblity and its not in your power to do. her recovery is her responsibility, try to let her own it. if i had to make a suggestion, it would be for you to continue to take care of you, expect the worst and hope and pray for the best. try not to have high expectations about her recovery, relapse sometimes is a part of recovery, i pray not, but too high expectation and a whole lot of eggshell walking on your part could cause you a lot of disappointment and pain unnessessarily. try to just be you, and take care of you, let her worry about herself and her recovery. stick to your boundaries, and try to enjoy your life day by day.

thejunkyswife

I find myself almost amused by how much those of us who love addicts in recovery have to be reminded to respect our own boundaries, take care of ourselves, and live day by day. The best Nar-Anon meetings that I've been to are the ones where we all almost laugh at ourselves and our constant repetition of these ideas...these ideas that should be fairly obvious--this sense of self-protection and self-worth that comes so naturally to most people in the world.

To you, frustrated1, I can only offer the same advice that people keep giving me: detach with love...take care of yourself...and do whatever you have to do to find some serenity in your life.

My husband has been alternatively reticent and eager about his recovery and about attending meetings. I am finding this push and pull in the 12 step programs I'm becoming so familiar with--within each person, within the groups themselves, within the literature. I feel like I am simultaneously training myself to stay with my husband through the long haul of addiction AND to be able to leave him if I decide it's time...which I guess is really the proper stance--prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

But I relate to your sense of frustration over your daughter's anger and seeming resistance to treatment. I hope you are able to protect your own sanity, and I hope for the best for your daughter.