jenny82

Hey everyone!
As you may have read, I am the one one with the addicted fiance who was in recovery but has now relapsed two months before the wedding. He is checking himself back into treatment and now I am left everyday with the weight of the world on my shoulders - do I marry him or not?
I know that logic says no but it's hard to convince my heart of this. I am trying to be strong enough to cancel the wedding, as I know it's the right thing to do for myself but it's going to be SO hard. Before I break the news to the world and deal with all the bull s*** that's going to come from cancelling a wedding - I want a weekend to be at peace. Tomorrow night, I am meeting with my sponsor for dinner and Sunday, I'll be going to my Nar-Anon meeting. I am just trying to think of something nice I can do for myself on Saturday to unwind and be at peace with myself. I'm currently staying with my parents, but with two dogs (plus one of my own, for a total of three) and a tiny house - it's hard to get peace. I still have the apartment that I shared with my ABF but when I'm there lately, it just reminds me of bad memories.
Any suggestions of how to de-stress??
Thanks!
Jenn

Brownie

Hi jenny! I used to love going to TO on the May 24 weekend! Sat on a bench one day at the Parliament Buildings and noticed and Oak Tree - they are a symbol of strength - still have that leaf around somewhere - must get it out. Sending Prayers your way for you and ABF. I'm a Mom of Addicted Daughter.

dazednconfuse

Jenny, I am one year married - on our honeymoon discovered my new hubby was/is a drug addict. If only I could have found out a week earlier! And maybe you don't have to cancel - perhaps just postpone until he can get himself in a better place? That would buy you some time, at the very least.

How about a trip to the spa? Pedicure? Facial??

mkchic

Jenny, I found out 3 weeks into the marriage that my husband is an addict. Our marriage lasted four months. We are in the process of divorce. I truly wish now that I had never married him. It was four months of H*** for me and my son. It drained all of my energy and left me feeling empty. Good luck to you and whatever you decide. You are in my prayers.

Misty

teke

sorry that you are having to make this kind of decision, i just want to send you a hug and a prayer. the spa sounds good or maybe you could go to a nice hotel and do some reading in the sauna

oneeyeopen

It amazes me how often I read that an addict relapsed around the time of weddings and the births of children. Keep in mind that those things, as happy as they are, cause stress, and it is the stress that often leads the addict back to their drugs. SO, imagine the natural steps a life together is going to take--children especially--do you want to risk having this happen again at other major points in your life together?

aside from all that--what I do a lot to get my mind off of my situation is go to the movies and have a huge popcorn and coke. I always pick the longest ones there are so that I get a nice long chunk of time in the dark with no contact with the outside world.

I also stuff my ipod earbuds in my ears and walk and walk and walk, it is especially nice now that the weather is getting better. You can get podcasts of "this American Life" to listen to on it, or any other entertaining radio programs you like, from the station's web sites.