Not sure if I need help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1
Not sure if I need help.
Hi everyone! I'm new here (obviously). My name is Brooke and I'm 27 years old. I'm coming here because I need advice. I am a drinker, but I'm not sure if I have a problem and not sure what the next step might be.
I'm sure the saying probably goes "if you have to ask, you are an alcoholic" but the truth is, I'm not sure. I was hoping some of you had similar experiences to mine and could share how you dealt with your situation.
At my age, drinking and partying is still pretty much the norm. All of my friends have long since graduated from college and have careers, but they still binge-drink on special occasions (i.e. birthdays, going-away parties, etc.) I always did that, but over the past 6 months or so, my binge-drinking has gotten worse and more frequent. It's hard for me to just go out for "a beer" with friends; once I start to get a buzz, I get an urge to drink more. It's a little embarrassing -- even if we're just out with some friends for dinner, I often find myself leaving the restaurant slurring my words. Whenever my husband and I go out, he always ends up being the one who has to drive home (even on his birthday!) A few weeks ago I binge-drank alone for the first time ever because I was sad and having a bad night, and I drank almost an entire bottle of red wine by myself. I have never been able to drink that much before (I'm five-foot-one, 115 pounds).
When I'm not drinking, I'm not typically thinking about or craving alcohol. I've gone for weeks at a time without a drink and I don't get cravings. But when I AM drinking, this crazy force takes over me and I can't stop, even if I try. I've never had a DUI, never missed work for drinking, and never gotten myself into serious trouble. My marriage is happy and my friendships are fine. But I don't like the person I become when I drink.
My question is -- do I need to "take the plunge" and get help, or is that too drastic? Should I try quitting drinking on my own? I just don't yet know if I'm at the point where I'm ready to stop completely, or if I even need to. I was just wondering if any of you had similar stories that led you to recovery and if you had success.
I'm sure the saying probably goes "if you have to ask, you are an alcoholic" but the truth is, I'm not sure. I was hoping some of you had similar experiences to mine and could share how you dealt with your situation.
At my age, drinking and partying is still pretty much the norm. All of my friends have long since graduated from college and have careers, but they still binge-drink on special occasions (i.e. birthdays, going-away parties, etc.) I always did that, but over the past 6 months or so, my binge-drinking has gotten worse and more frequent. It's hard for me to just go out for "a beer" with friends; once I start to get a buzz, I get an urge to drink more. It's a little embarrassing -- even if we're just out with some friends for dinner, I often find myself leaving the restaurant slurring my words. Whenever my husband and I go out, he always ends up being the one who has to drive home (even on his birthday!) A few weeks ago I binge-drank alone for the first time ever because I was sad and having a bad night, and I drank almost an entire bottle of red wine by myself. I have never been able to drink that much before (I'm five-foot-one, 115 pounds).
When I'm not drinking, I'm not typically thinking about or craving alcohol. I've gone for weeks at a time without a drink and I don't get cravings. But when I AM drinking, this crazy force takes over me and I can't stop, even if I try. I've never had a DUI, never missed work for drinking, and never gotten myself into serious trouble. My marriage is happy and my friendships are fine. But I don't like the person I become when I drink.
My question is -- do I need to "take the plunge" and get help, or is that too drastic? Should I try quitting drinking on my own? I just don't yet know if I'm at the point where I'm ready to stop completely, or if I even need to. I was just wondering if any of you had similar stories that led you to recovery and if you had success.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 336
Morning toughcookie and welcome to SR. I see alot of myself in you. I don't drink everyday but when I do, it's buckets and I can't stop. I have quite a few years on you, I'm 41 so I can tell you this. When I was your age I drank like that and I didn't put it in check. It spiralled and I could easily drink 2 bottles of wine, or up to 15 beers in an afternoon/evening but suffered blackouts all the time. I also HATE the person I am when I am drunk. I like the feeling after the first two drinks but after that it's just sloppy, messy drunk. If you continue you'll likely end up somewhere to where I am now, wishing I had got it under control or addressed it many years ago.
I'm into my third weekend alcohol free and this also means embarrassment free, blackout free, hangover free and I am loving it. I still have times where I want to drink with my friends cause they are all hard partiers but I keep in mind that it's not the first two that are my problem, it's the fact that I have no judgement after the first and second drink.
The fact that you are here is courageous! Have a look around, read some posts. Only you can decide if you have a problem and there is alot of information here.
I'm into my third weekend alcohol free and this also means embarrassment free, blackout free, hangover free and I am loving it. I still have times where I want to drink with my friends cause they are all hard partiers but I keep in mind that it's not the first two that are my problem, it's the fact that I have no judgement after the first and second drink.
The fact that you are here is courageous! Have a look around, read some posts. Only you can decide if you have a problem and there is alot of information here.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Hi Toughcookie,
Welcome and I'm glad you found us.
I think I would say, that it's not how often or how much you drink, as much as how you feel when you drink. It sounds like you experience a lot of negative feelings and also you implied that your binge-drinking is getting worse. Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
Take a look around and read and I hope you find yourself inspired.
Welcome and I'm glad you found us.
I think I would say, that it's not how often or how much you drink, as much as how you feel when you drink. It sounds like you experience a lot of negative feelings and also you implied that your binge-drinking is getting worse. Alcoholism is a progressive disease.
Take a look around and read and I hope you find yourself inspired.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
so, my binge-drinking has gotten worse and more frequent.
once I start to get a buzz, I get an urge to drink more
I have never been able to drink that much before
When I'm not drinking, I'm not typically thinking about or craving alcohol
Only you can decide if you're an alocoholic, but my snippets above are very good indicators of being an alcoholic. We all shares these same traits.
Your age has nothing to do with it. The first time I quit, I was 26, and my life was already out of control.
I went back out after about 6 years, and drank until I was 42. This time is was Hell.
If you need help, there's plenty of people here (self included) to give you advice.
Good Luck and God Bless.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
I've never had a DUI, never missed work for drinking, and never gotten myself into serious trouble. My marriage is happy and my friendships are fine. But I don't like the person I become when I drink.
Why not try quitting for about three months, and see if you don't just feel better about every aspect of your life!?! You have said
I've gone for weeks at a time without a drink and I don't get cravings.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Grand Junction, CO
Posts: 6
Hello toughcookie
Welcome to SR. My story is somewhat similar to yours, I just turned 27, I came to SR just about a month ago (22 days). I didn't like who I was when I drank at all either. My drinking was progressing and I knew I had to stop. Like you I never got in trouble with the law, drank at work, or craved alcohol. My drinking progressed to everynight though and the quantity of alcohol became more and more (and I started to closet drink). I knew I needed to do something, so I quit. I haven't had a drink in 22 days. I started off just wanting to get my drinking under control, thinking that once I did I could return to just having a couple while out with friends. Now, upon reading posts on here, I have learned that for people who have problems with alcohol (i.e. not being alble to stop once started) that may never work. I don't want to find out if I will be able to stop once I start so I am just not going to start again. This site has been great for me, learning from others.
I went out for St. Patricks Day with a bunch of friends and was the DD. It was a little hard at first not to drink but seeing so many drunk people stumbling around the bar made it a little easier because I knew how they would feel the next morning and I didn't want to feel that way at all. I think that hardest thing was the pressure from a couple people in my group, trying to get me to have a drink. They don't know that I quit (just thought I was being DD).
I agree with what raerob said, try quitting for a while, see how you feel. For me quitting impoved my life by leaps and bounds. I love waking up early, hangover free. Not having to deal with any guilt that came from drinking, and I've lost 10 pounds (woohoo!). I am not the type of person that seeks professional help, I like to do things on my own, so I haven't gone to any meetings or anything. I am going to try it on my own and if it dosen't work I will probably have to go the next step. Everyone is different, you have to do what works for you. Hope somthing I said helped, I feel like I've been rambling on.
Good luck. Keep posting.
Welcome to SR. My story is somewhat similar to yours, I just turned 27, I came to SR just about a month ago (22 days). I didn't like who I was when I drank at all either. My drinking was progressing and I knew I had to stop. Like you I never got in trouble with the law, drank at work, or craved alcohol. My drinking progressed to everynight though and the quantity of alcohol became more and more (and I started to closet drink). I knew I needed to do something, so I quit. I haven't had a drink in 22 days. I started off just wanting to get my drinking under control, thinking that once I did I could return to just having a couple while out with friends. Now, upon reading posts on here, I have learned that for people who have problems with alcohol (i.e. not being alble to stop once started) that may never work. I don't want to find out if I will be able to stop once I start so I am just not going to start again. This site has been great for me, learning from others.
I went out for St. Patricks Day with a bunch of friends and was the DD. It was a little hard at first not to drink but seeing so many drunk people stumbling around the bar made it a little easier because I knew how they would feel the next morning and I didn't want to feel that way at all. I think that hardest thing was the pressure from a couple people in my group, trying to get me to have a drink. They don't know that I quit (just thought I was being DD).
I agree with what raerob said, try quitting for a while, see how you feel. For me quitting impoved my life by leaps and bounds. I love waking up early, hangover free. Not having to deal with any guilt that came from drinking, and I've lost 10 pounds (woohoo!). I am not the type of person that seeks professional help, I like to do things on my own, so I haven't gone to any meetings or anything. I am going to try it on my own and if it dosen't work I will probably have to go the next step. Everyone is different, you have to do what works for you. Hope somthing I said helped, I feel like I've been rambling on.
Good luck. Keep posting.
Silly Rabbit
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 956
I don't know if this will help you or not, but I'm 22 and I quit drinking 10 months ago. I was a blackout binge drinker, a bit of a wanderer... people would be on "Emily alert" if I was at a concert or anything. I never got a DUI, never lost a job, never got raped/assaulted/etc., never had any relationships end... but I could have. When I got sober, I was told to add "yet" to all those things, and that really put my life into perspective.
For me, the big clincher in my decision to get sober was the fact that I felt like I had no spirit left, and that's a really big deal for me. At 21, I felt completely spiritually bankrupt, and that was really scary for me. My lines between right and wrong were getting blurry, and that was enough of a red flag for me to stop what I was doing, and take a look around.
I don't know what your red flags are, or whether your bad/good line has blurred at all, but the whole deal with recovery is sharing your experience, strength, and hope. So, here's a little bit of that, from a young person in AA. Hope it helps.
For me, the big clincher in my decision to get sober was the fact that I felt like I had no spirit left, and that's a really big deal for me. At 21, I felt completely spiritually bankrupt, and that was really scary for me. My lines between right and wrong were getting blurry, and that was enough of a red flag for me to stop what I was doing, and take a look around.
I don't know what your red flags are, or whether your bad/good line has blurred at all, but the whole deal with recovery is sharing your experience, strength, and hope. So, here's a little bit of that, from a young person in AA. Hope it helps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
I wish I had this place at 27 maybe I would have seen the light sooner. I am 45 been sober almost 9 months after a 30 year stint with drinking. Deep down inside I always knew that someday it would get the best of me... No Dui's or lost jobs just lots of hangovers and embarrassing regrets. I was never "that bad" at least not in the eyes of my drinking friends....and I always thought a blackout meant to pass out and that not remembering what you did the night before was just a normal part of drinking... wrong...
Anyway my drinking got progressively worse my husband and my kids were beginning to hate me and me myself... so here I am at 45 though I don't dwell on the regrets.. I do wish sobriety has come sooner... I have found that anything I could do drinking I can do sober better... I tore up the slopes sober this weekend for the first time since I was 15 and Friday night I went to see Pat Benitar and I remember the whoooole thing....
If you don't like who you are when you drink the only way to chnage that is to stop drinking... one day at a time
Anyway my drinking got progressively worse my husband and my kids were beginning to hate me and me myself... so here I am at 45 though I don't dwell on the regrets.. I do wish sobriety has come sooner... I have found that anything I could do drinking I can do sober better... I tore up the slopes sober this weekend for the first time since I was 15 and Friday night I went to see Pat Benitar and I remember the whoooole thing....
If you don't like who you are when you drink the only way to chnage that is to stop drinking... one day at a time
Rock-chalk-jayhawk..
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: kansas
Posts: 170
hello nycgirl. the above post are very good. but yes only you can decide if you have a problem. i could go a week or so without drinking. but watch out once i started. i cant stop i would drink untill i was unable to walk. i would foreget what i said to people and even woke up with a few people that lets say werent my type lol. i would worry about what did i say at the family dinner last nite. i even woke up shackled to the drunk tank floor not knowing why i was in there and even if i had killed anyone last nite driving. thats a bad feeling i must say. i would say your a responsable drinker. not that you know when to quit but you know not to drive. but be carefull. even after 3 dui's i got back into a car drunk once. thank god i didnt get caught. you may not drink and drive now but what happens when you need some more wine and your husband isnt there to take you. just be carefull is all im saying. i just wanted to share alil and wanted to say thanks for posting. your in the right place for sure. i hope all works out for you... jason
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Hi, TC, this short questionnaire is from the NIAAA site,
Maybe it will help. I recommend going to the site and reading the
FAQ’S, it might help you find some answers.
No one but you can really tell you if you either are an alcoholic or if you are a problem drinker.
10. How can you tell if someone has a problem?
Answering the following four questions can help you find out if you or a loved one has a drinking problem:
· Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
· Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
· Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
· Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
One "yes" answer suggests a possible alcohol problem. More than one "yes" answer means it is highly likely that a problem exists. If you think that you or someone you know might have an alcohol problem, it is important to see a doctor or other health care provider right away. They can help you determine if a drinking problem exists and plan the best course of action.
http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/FAQs/Genera...sh/default.htm
Best wishes, hope3
Maybe it will help. I recommend going to the site and reading the
FAQ’S, it might help you find some answers.
No one but you can really tell you if you either are an alcoholic or if you are a problem drinker.
10. How can you tell if someone has a problem?
Answering the following four questions can help you find out if you or a loved one has a drinking problem:
· Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking?
· Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking?
· Have you ever felt bad or guilty about your drinking?
· Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves or to get rid of a hangover?
One "yes" answer suggests a possible alcohol problem. More than one "yes" answer means it is highly likely that a problem exists. If you think that you or someone you know might have an alcohol problem, it is important to see a doctor or other health care provider right away. They can help you determine if a drinking problem exists and plan the best course of action.
http://www.niaaa.nih.gov/FAQs/Genera...sh/default.htm
Best wishes, hope3
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