Update on son who's been gone for almost a week
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 285
Update on son who's been gone for almost a week
I just started this sight yesterday. My son called last nite from a friend's house and said he was coming home to get more clothes. When he got here all he really wanted was his playstation he had gotten for Xmas. Didn't let him have it because the old one he had he sold for drugs. I was expecting him to beg us to let him stay, but I think he was high and he is staying with a friend that I think uses. I hope he makes it through. I don't know that he really wants to quit. My husband said we better prepare ourselves for maybe never seeing him again for quite awhile.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Up North
Posts: 105
((((((Louise)))))
I know how bad this hurts. My AS is 25 and I haven't seen him or heard from him since early February.
I am glad that he is not coming around here....but still it hurts.
The worrry is sometimes too much to bare.
Let go and let God. Remember this, your son has a higher power and it isn't you.
Take care of you.
I know how bad this hurts. My AS is 25 and I haven't seen him or heard from him since early February.
I am glad that he is not coming around here....but still it hurts.
The worrry is sometimes too much to bare.
Let go and let God. Remember this, your son has a higher power and it isn't you.
Take care of you.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Yes, your hubby might be right...on the other hand it may be his time to reach his bottom, and that is the key...when the consequences of using no longer are
the answer, he may fall to his knees and seek recovery..
No matter what you do or don't do, it won't stop him from using, until he is ready, he must want recovery more than anything else in life, for him, not you.
It is a long dark journey into recovery, both for the addict and the enabler, yet, sucess can be attained, it just takes resolve and dedication.
Please keep posting, we are here for you.
Dolly
the answer, he may fall to his knees and seek recovery..
No matter what you do or don't do, it won't stop him from using, until he is ready, he must want recovery more than anything else in life, for him, not you.
It is a long dark journey into recovery, both for the addict and the enabler, yet, sucess can be attained, it just takes resolve and dedication.
Please keep posting, we are here for you.
Dolly
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i agree with the others, glad that you were able to stand your ground and not allow him to take the playstation. i pray that he'll find his bottom soon. keeping you and your family in my prayers
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Louise, I just got off the phone with a dear alanon friend. She reminded me that we must trust our HP to take care of our son. There really is nothing else we can do. We can't make them better by letting them use us.
The addict promises better behavior, but only till they get what they need to feed their addiction, then it's back to the same old insanity.
They know how to find food at soup kitchens, and they know where the shelters are. The help is there if they want it.
The mother in us cries for them and we suffer so much because of this horrid disease!
It's the only case I know where someone elses disease makes US sick.
You know what happened with my son. He's homeless, pennyless, friendless and hopefully has finally hit his rock bottom. With HP's help he will seek out the help he needs.
Louise, this message board has truly been a life saver for me. Meetings only happen 2 times a week where I am, so I am here daily.
Keep posting. It helps so much.
The addict promises better behavior, but only till they get what they need to feed their addiction, then it's back to the same old insanity.
They know how to find food at soup kitchens, and they know where the shelters are. The help is there if they want it.
The mother in us cries for them and we suffer so much because of this horrid disease!
It's the only case I know where someone elses disease makes US sick.
You know what happened with my son. He's homeless, pennyless, friendless and hopefully has finally hit his rock bottom. With HP's help he will seek out the help he needs.
Louise, this message board has truly been a life saver for me. Meetings only happen 2 times a week where I am, so I am here daily.
Keep posting. It helps so much.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 285
You are all so right. He stopped using when he was at home, because we wanted him to. My son is also penniless. Just lost his job and quit school. He really has nothing. So hopefully he will find his way to a soup kitchen or a shelter. I never thought I would feel this way, but it's about time we did something. Thank you all for your kind words in this horrible time.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Lousie54
Welcome to Sr. I know how you feel, my son is 21 and I haven't seen him for 6 months, haven't spoken to him in over 1 1/2 years. I know the pain you are in, just think that you know he was alive and ok last night. Take it one minute at a time if need be. Also remember that you do not Cause this, you can not Cure this and you can not Control this.
It is hard not knowing how your child is doing, but it is easier not to see them destroy their lives.
Hugs and prayers coming to you
Welcome to Sr. I know how you feel, my son is 21 and I haven't seen him for 6 months, haven't spoken to him in over 1 1/2 years. I know the pain you are in, just think that you know he was alive and ok last night. Take it one minute at a time if need be. Also remember that you do not Cause this, you can not Cure this and you can not Control this.
It is hard not knowing how your child is doing, but it is easier not to see them destroy their lives.
Hugs and prayers coming to you
Let me grow up.
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Charles, LA
Posts: 201
Hey, Louise! Just wanted to welcome you to our forum family. I believe that having joined this site you have taken one of the first steps toward your own recovery. There are a lot of wonderful people here (as you can see) who want to listen and help.
I agree with all of the above. As hard as it must be not to worry yourself sick behind your baby, you must realize that ultimately he'll be the one to choose to stop using when he's ready to. Give him over to God and know that there he's in great hands. Hugs and kisses
I agree with all of the above. As hard as it must be not to worry yourself sick behind your baby, you must realize that ultimately he'll be the one to choose to stop using when he's ready to. Give him over to God and know that there he's in great hands. Hugs and kisses
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Louise, if we could love our sons into recovery, not one of us would be here. I went through years and years of my son using and getting clean, once for almost 3 years, and relapses and more using...it was an endless cycle for him, the revolving door of recovery and relapse. I tried everything every mother here has tried, thinking that somehow it would make a difference. All it did was keep me attached to him and dragged me down with him.
If I had not found my meetings, a wonderful sponsor and a 12 step program that literally saved my life, I can't imagine how much worse my life would have become.
I haven't seen or heard from my son in over 2 years and have no idea where he is today. But I know this. I know that he knows we love him. I know that he knows where to find help when he is ready. And I know that when I say a prayer every day and ask God to watch over my son, that He does.
Knowing that, working this program and surrounding myself with support has allowed me to continue living my life the way God intended, in peace and in happiness and grateful for each day.
Your son will be in my prayers tonight, as will you and your husband be, and may we all take comfort and sleep well knowing that God loves all his children, even his addicted ones.
Hugs and Welcome.
If I had not found my meetings, a wonderful sponsor and a 12 step program that literally saved my life, I can't imagine how much worse my life would have become.
I haven't seen or heard from my son in over 2 years and have no idea where he is today. But I know this. I know that he knows we love him. I know that he knows where to find help when he is ready. And I know that when I say a prayer every day and ask God to watch over my son, that He does.
Knowing that, working this program and surrounding myself with support has allowed me to continue living my life the way God intended, in peace and in happiness and grateful for each day.
Your son will be in my prayers tonight, as will you and your husband be, and may we all take comfort and sleep well knowing that God loves all his children, even his addicted ones.
Hugs and Welcome.
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((Louise)))))
I'm so sorry for the pain that your son's addiction is causing you
and your family. My son is the addict in my life, as well. He's 25.
He hasn't iv'ed heroin in almost a year, but continues to drink and
smoke pot. What's worse is, he is still in the addict mode. You know that mode... Me Me Me!
We all know why he was coming for the playstation, yet before I found sr and started working a 12 step recovery program for codependency, I would have given my son the playstation, believing him when he said he "just wanted to play with it".
I'm so very grateful to God, soberrecovery, Melodie Beattie, (author of some really great books on codependency) and my friends here that have helped me stay sane. I just want to welcome you into this group of great people, and send prayers out to you, your son, and the rest of your family.
Addiction affects us all. Take care of you and let HP take care of your son.
Hugs from one mom to another...
Linda
I'm so sorry for the pain that your son's addiction is causing you
and your family. My son is the addict in my life, as well. He's 25.
He hasn't iv'ed heroin in almost a year, but continues to drink and
smoke pot. What's worse is, he is still in the addict mode. You know that mode... Me Me Me!
We all know why he was coming for the playstation, yet before I found sr and started working a 12 step recovery program for codependency, I would have given my son the playstation, believing him when he said he "just wanted to play with it".
I'm so very grateful to God, soberrecovery, Melodie Beattie, (author of some really great books on codependency) and my friends here that have helped me stay sane. I just want to welcome you into this group of great people, and send prayers out to you, your son, and the rest of your family.
Addiction affects us all. Take care of you and let HP take care of your son.
Hugs from one mom to another...
Linda
Power is not having to respond
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Wabbit Hole
Posts: 1,923
Oh yeah, I have to say that if you were to go to an AA meeting, you'd find people who were homeless and friendless, penniless and with out a single hope in the world who hit bottom and went to AA for help. They found the food kitchens and shelters and hit rock bottom and looked up one day and decided they didn't want to live like that any more, and got help. FREE help too!
That gives me hope Louise, that this spiritual awakening will happen to my son and yours too.
That gives me hope Louise, that this spiritual awakening will happen to my son and yours too.
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