I Truly Love Fellow, Addicts, Alchoholics, and family members
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: fremont California
Posts: 15
I Truly Love Fellow, Addicts, Alchoholics, and family members
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Good day all,
I am so glad I found this site and the people on here as well. Although I am currently using percs and alchohol I have managed to taper a bit and have been talking to the appropriate people at my job to get into a program that will restore my broken life. This site has been an answered prayer. I acnt wait to come home from the daily grind of work and read the insperational expieriences and words of encouragement found on here. I truly was feeling my life was over until I stumbled upon here last week after breaking down. The final straw that sent me sincerely serching for help was when I ran out of pills and my wife went to the emergency room to fake an illness to score come Vic's for me. This was not the first time. My poor wife has endured countless hours at countless doctors offices just to make sure I would evade the dreaded withdrawels that I get when I do not take my meds. How sick am I that I could put here through that? The poor beautifull woman that I love has already been through cancer treatment and we beat it after three years of hell and I have the balls to let her go back to the doctors to score my drugs!!!!!!!!GOD FORGIVE ME!!! I am so sick!!!
I realize that I am scum and do not even deserve the unconditional love my wife and kids give me. Without them...I am nothing. I need to be the best ME that I can be for them. And the only way that can be realized is by me being clean.
I am going to get into rehab soon, I asked my mother inlaw to come and stay with my wife and children. My kids have never been apart from me and that is the biggest obsticle. They are such beautiful children and went through hell when Mommy went into the hospital for Cancer surgery. And now I have to leave them from a self induced disease of drug addiction!!! (SIGH!) How the hell did this happen?
I love you all and you have given me hope and I thank you. Please pray for me and continue with yoyr encouragement.
Good day all,
I am so glad I found this site and the people on here as well. Although I am currently using percs and alchohol I have managed to taper a bit and have been talking to the appropriate people at my job to get into a program that will restore my broken life. This site has been an answered prayer. I acnt wait to come home from the daily grind of work and read the insperational expieriences and words of encouragement found on here. I truly was feeling my life was over until I stumbled upon here last week after breaking down. The final straw that sent me sincerely serching for help was when I ran out of pills and my wife went to the emergency room to fake an illness to score come Vic's for me. This was not the first time. My poor wife has endured countless hours at countless doctors offices just to make sure I would evade the dreaded withdrawels that I get when I do not take my meds. How sick am I that I could put here through that? The poor beautifull woman that I love has already been through cancer treatment and we beat it after three years of hell and I have the balls to let her go back to the doctors to score my drugs!!!!!!!!GOD FORGIVE ME!!! I am so sick!!!
I realize that I am scum and do not even deserve the unconditional love my wife and kids give me. Without them...I am nothing. I need to be the best ME that I can be for them. And the only way that can be realized is by me being clean.
I am going to get into rehab soon, I asked my mother inlaw to come and stay with my wife and children. My kids have never been apart from me and that is the biggest obsticle. They are such beautiful children and went through hell when Mommy went into the hospital for Cancer surgery. And now I have to leave them from a self induced disease of drug addiction!!! (SIGH!) How the hell did this happen?
I love you all and you have given me hope and I thank you. Please pray for me and continue with yoyr encouragement.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
You said it yourself...you are SICK...and, I'm sure your wife knows that it is the disease causing you to do these things.
Please carry through on your decision to go to rehab...and let us know how you are doing.
Please carry through on your decision to go to rehab...and let us know how you are doing.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Addiction is a disease that infects those around us. Though our loved ones may not become addicted to our D(s)OC, they do very often begin to adjust their thoughts and actions, and just as with us, the abnormal for them becomes the normal. The denial, the rationalization, the manipulation and the covering up -- it's just what you do when you live with an addict.
They need healing as much as we do.
There is help for your wife as well as you. Perhaps she might want to look into one of the wonderful "anon" programs (Al-anon or Nar-anon) to begin her journey as you begin yours?
Good luck.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
They need healing as much as we do.
There is help for your wife as well as you. Perhaps she might want to look into one of the wonderful "anon" programs (Al-anon or Nar-anon) to begin her journey as you begin yours?
Good luck.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
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