embraced2000

i think he is really over the edge. he called again this morn. telling me i needed to make a decision, because i was gonna lose out. this other woman is beginning to put demands on him to make a committment and i needed to hurry up and decide what i wanted.

good lord almighty!!! i was speechless. for once. i kept my tongue in check tho. i said...well, darlin, you have chosen your life, and i wish you the best.

so he says....you have wadded me up like a piece of garbage and thrown me away...what about our wedding vows...in better or worse....

so i said....our wedding vows also said to honor and cherish, and did not mention one thing about accepting abuse.

he says....i've been scratching around out here in the dirt for 3 years now, cause you keep having me arrested.

i say....tom, i do not have that much power. if you get arrested, it is because you have broken the law.

it was the most alcoholic driven conversation i have heard....or maybe i just listen differently since i've started my own recovery.

i asked him not to call anymore. he said...you are my wife in the eyes of god and i will call you when i want.

so i said....we are divorced in the eyes of the law and i will take out a protective order if you continue to call me.

he then said something real creepy....so, do you still feel safe???

remember the office door being shattered?????

so i said goodbye, and god bless.

it upsets me too much to listen to this nonsense. and my heart aches for him because he is so lost.

does he honestly think i could take back, straight out of the bed of another woman??? and not in recovery???? and still blaming everyone else????

i'm going to try to end this, once and for all.

i will not allow him to continue to invade my space and life any longer.

enough is enough.

from the past, i have learned that if i just click the phone down, he shows up here drunk and threatening. i cannot change the business phone, which is the one he calls on, and our phone system cannot support caller id....mainly because we would have to upgrade to a much more expensive phone system for all the properties and the owner won't go the expense.

FormerDoormat

Jeri: I think you might want to seriously consider getting a restraining order against him. I'm betting he was the one who broke your door. The timing was much more than a coincidence.

prodigal

He's threatening you. Believe what he says because I think one of these nights when he's got a real load-on, he just might make good on his threat. You need a protective order. You can't change the business line, but you can screen all calls with voicemail. I'm assuming you have voicemail. If not, it would be worth every penny to have it. Those calls he makes would be well documented.

I think all of us feel a certain degree of safety even when they threaten us because we think they're all blow and no show. Take it from someone who got a black eye, bruised arms, and thrown down stairs by a former AH: they are perfectly capable of maiming you and then trying to convince you that you deserved it!

WantsOut

I suggest that you not be quick on the draw with a restraining order because that might just elevate the drama. Maybe wait a few days to see if this dies down or if he's going to push it.

Then again, I think you've mentioned he was violent with you in the past and that changes things. You know the deal - let your gut answer this question: Are you worried? Act accordingly. I just don't want to see you get drawn into a big to-do when it might just be a flare up due to you two going at it over the phone recently.

As for the work phone - that just sucks. You're kind of plain stuck. I'd be tempted to tell him you have to put him on hold and then hang up. Yes, everytime he calls.

mallowcup

Jeri at first I thought Tom broke the door because he was drunk or mad. I think he did it or had someone do it to scare you into thinking you needed him there. He created a reason for you to miss him. I'd tell the police about this and get the restraining order. After my exs same antics failed, he got frustrated and he got ugly. He got dangerous and fixed on me.

Cynay

Yepppers ...

I have to agree, believe him and get the order and start keeping some good documentation.

That did not sound good at all. You know, you could always call the new girl and ask her to keep her pet on a leash!

Mr. Christian

Well he does sound somewhat over the edge, graping at anything at this point.
I would at least talk to the police, see what they say.